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Author: Lyndsay Barr

Full Steam Ahead: On Track with Passion and Purpose

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Purpose. 1 Comment on Full Steam Ahead: On Track with Passion and Purpose

What began as a simple search for a unique rental unit for their property, Little Orchard, turned into a labour of love—the transformation of a forgotten train coach into a luxurious retreat. Clients, Jeff and Sue Lawrence, inspired by the magic of their past train journeys, discovered Coach 26806, a weathered sleeper coach in Ladysmith. Though stripped of its former glory, it still held immense potential.

Transporting the 34-ton coach to Wakkerstroom was no easy feat, but Jeff and Sue were determined to bring their vision to life. This wasn’t just about restoring a piece of history; it was about creating an experience that would evoke nostalgia and craft lasting memories. Every detail, from the Rhodesian teak floors to the custom windows and vintage memorabilia, was chosen with care and dedication.

Stepping inside the train, you can immediately feel the love and thoughtfulness that went into its transformation. The upcycled rail brackets, Sue’s handcrafted stained glass, and original South African Railways touches all contribute to a space that feels luxurious, personal, and full of history.

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to live with intention. But Jeff and Sue’s story reminds us of the importance of living intentionally. Their journey beautifully embodies so many aspects of the Wheel of Balance: Play in their nostalgic escape, Work in their dedicated restoration, Purpose in creating a meaningful space, Money in transforming a relic for income, Relationships in their shared passion, and Learn in preserving the train’s history.

For my husband and me, staying at this unique accommodation was more than just a weekend getaway—it was a chance to reflect. As empty nesters, we found ourselves asking, What is our next journey? What excites us now? The experience reminded us that pursuing passion isn’t always easy, but it is worth the ride.

Our visit to Wakkerstroom coincided with Wakkerstroom 165 Stories of the Anglo-Boer War festival. The town, known for its birdwatching, history, and natural beauty, was bustling with excitement. From vintage car parades and Zulu dancers, Transvaal Scottish Pipes and Drums to fascinating talks on the Anglo-Boer War, Wakkerstroom’s charm was on full display. The friendly people, wonderful restaurants, and lively atmosphere made it an enticing destination.

If you’re looking for a getaway that inspires and offers a unique experience, I highly recommend visiting Wakkerstroom and staying in The Train. It’s a chance to rediscover what excites you.

“Sometimes, the journey leads us to destinations we never imagined, but those are often the ones that make the ride worthwhile.”- Anonymous

Filling the Gaps: How Making Appointments with Yourself Can Ease Transitions

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Transitions, whatever they may be, often involve a change in routine. Whether it’s adjusting to an empty nest, retirement, or another significant life shift, these changes can leave us feeling unmoored, unsure of how to fill the time and space once occupied by familiar activities and responsibilities.

As I transitioned into an empty nest, I found myself slipping into a slump where weeks seemed to blur together. The routine and purpose once defined by my children’s needs were suddenly gone, leaving an unsettling emptiness. I realised that if I didn’t make some changes, I could easily become stuck in this rut.

To bring structure and purpose back into my life, I began making weekly appointments with myself. These weren’t about filling my schedule with busy work; they were about reconnecting with myself and exploring new interests to fill the gaps left by my children.

Last week, my self-imposed appointments included two spinning classes, evening walks with the dogs, and an embroidery class with a friend. These activities weren’t chosen because of a deep passion but rather as a way to stay accountable to myself. Some, like spinning, offered a physical outlet, while others, like the embroidery class, were a chance to try something new, even if embroidery isn’t in my future.

This week, I’m excited to dust off my camera and spend time in the garden taking pictures before dusk—an activity that reconnects me with my love for photography. I’ve also planned a date night with my husband and a visit to Exclusive Books to browse, something I’ve always loved but haven’t made time for in a while.

Through this process, I’ve learned that transitions like these can leave you feeling lost, unsure of your direction, and disconnected from the routines that once anchored you. But by committing to these weekly appointments, I’ve found a way to fill the gaps that were left behind. Even when I don’t enjoy every new thing I try, the act of making these commitments keeps me accountable, pushing me to stay active and engaged rather than slipping back into that initial slump.

Here are a few tips that might help you navigate your own transitions:

  • Try New Things: Step out of your comfort zone and explore new activities. Even if they don’t all become lifelong passions, they can help you discover new interests and keep your mind engaged.
  • Reconnect with Old Passions: Use this time to revisit hobbies or interests that you may have set aside. Whether it’s a creative pursuit, gardening, or volunteering, reconnecting with old passions can bring a sense of fulfilment.
  • Set Small, Achievable Goals: Start with small goals that are easy to accomplish. As you meet these goals, you’ll build confidence and momentum, making it easier to tackle bigger challenges.
  • Find a Community: Transitions can feel isolating. Joining a group or class related to your interests can help you build a new social circle and share experiences with others going through similar changes.

By setting aside time each week for intentional activities, you can begin to carve out a new path and find purpose, no matter what transition you are going through.

The Bittersweet Farewell: When Your Loved Ones Leave South Africa

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Relationships. 4 Comments on The Bittersweet Farewell: When Your Loved Ones Leave South Africa

The thrill of opportunity and the promise of a brighter future—these are the images often painted when our children or grandchildren decide to spread their wings and fly to foreign shores. Yet, beneath the excitement and logic that propel us to cheer them on, there lies a profound and often unexpected grief. It’s a complex emotion, a bittersweet mix of pride and pain, that echoes in the hearts of countless South African parents and grandparents.

My own journey with this complex emotion began this month when my son Mike embarked on an adventure to pursue his master’s degree in international business at the University of South Carolina, a programme that qualifies him for a work visa and subsequent career opportunities in the United States, making it uncertain if and when he will return home. On the surface, it was a decision brimming with potential and excitement. Below this excitement, however, was a growing sense of emptiness. The realisation that my daily interactions, the shared laughter, and his comforting presence would be replaced by fleeting visits and digital connections was a stark and sobering truth.

It’s a grief that often feels at odds with the circumstances. Logic dictates that this is a positive chapter, a stepping stone to a fulfilling life. But the heart, it seems, has its own agenda. It yearns for the familiar, the comforting rhythms of shared existence.

This experience was amplified when I considered the impact of Mike’s departure on my parents. The passage of time, with its inherent fragility, casts a different light on these farewells. While I can still plan and anticipate future visits, their ability to do the same is limited by the uncertainties of age, making the goodbye even more heart-wrenching.

My mother found comfort in the words of Kahlil Gibran, which she shared with me. His poignant reflection on children as “arrows loaned to you by life” resonated deeply with her. As he writes, “They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” These words, while offering little comfort in the moment, provided a broader perspective on the cyclical nature of life.

So, how do we navigate this complex landscape of emotions?

  • Acknowledge your feelings: It’s essential to give yourself permission to grieve. This isn’t about denying the opportunities or minimising the achievements; it’s about acknowledging the depth of your love and the changes that accompany this new chapter.
  • Build a support network: Connect with other people who are experiencing similar emotions. Sharing your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic.
  • Embrace technology: While it can never replace physical presence, technology offers invaluable connections and can help bridge geographical distances.
  • Create new rituals: Establish new traditions to mark special occasions. Whether it’s a weekly video call, a WhatsApp group, or a virtual family gathering, these rituals can provide a sense of continuity. My son created a WhatsApp group for the extended family where he posts videos, pictures, and daily ramblings.
  • Don’t be afraid of social media: If your grandchildren/children are on Instagram or TikTok, go ahead and create an account and follow them. This can be a great way to stay connected and up-to-date with their lives.

Remember, this is a journey, not a destination. It’s about finding a balance between celebrating their successes and honouring your own emotions. With time, the pain will soften, and the joy of their accomplishments will continue to grow. Hopefully, one day, the distance will feel like a bridge rather than a barrier, cultivating a deeper and more meaningful connection.

Beyond Forgetfulness: Understanding and Supporting Someone with Alzheimer’s

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Beyond Forgetfulness: Understanding and Supporting Someone with Alzheimer’s

Chartered client Sarah knows all too well the long shadow Alzheimer’s disease can cast on families. Witnessing her father’s decline has been a heartbreaking journey, filled with frustration and a deep sense of loss.

“It started subtly,” Sarah recalls. “Misplaced keys, forgotten appointments, struggles to find the right words. We brushed it off as normal forgetfulness that comes with age.” But as time passed, the forgetfulness morphed into something more concerning. Simple tasks became overwhelming, and conversations repetitive. “My dad fell prey to scams,” Sarah shared, “which left him feeling vulnerable and embarrassed to admit his mistakes.”

Sarah’s attempts to discuss her father’s condition were met with resistance. “He wouldn’t accept there was a problem,” she explains. “It was incredibly frustrating. How do you talk to someone about a disease they refuse to acknowledge?” This is a common challenge for families facing Alzheimer’s. The disease’s insidious nature can cloud judgment and make admitting vulnerability difficult. But Sarah’s story emphasises a crucial message: early conversations about future care, even before any signs of dementia, are essential.

Wall of Denial

One of the hardest aspects was dealing with her dad’s denial. He adamantly refused to discuss his condition or accept help. This extended to finances, daily responsibilities, and his overall deteriorating state. His pride and stubbornness made constructive conversations nearly impossible. Sarah’s attempts to discuss planning and support were met with resistance, sometimes anger.

The Burden of Responsibility

As the signs became undeniable, Sarah’s concerns grew not just for her dad but also for her disabled brother, who depended on him entirely. The realisation that her dad’s declining ability to manage finances could jeopardise her brother’s future added immense pressure. He managed his own investments, paid for his son’s medical aid, and handled all financial affairs. If he were to pass away or become incapacitated, Sarah would be left to untangle the financial mess.

Taking Action

Over time, Sarah took incremental steps to secure her dad’s and brother’s future. This involved gathering information about his assets, creating a folder with important documents, and gaining third-party access to his medical aid. She managed to set up a trust for her brother.

Emotional Toll

The emotional toll of this journey cannot be understated. Witnessing her dad struggle with cognitive tests was heartbreaking. The frustration of his denial, coupled with the immense responsibility of managing his affairs, strained her relationships with him. It was difficult not to become resentful as her time and energy were consumed.

Practical Advice

For those in similar situations, here are some practical steps to consider:

  • Legal Preparedness: Understand the limitations of the power of attorney and consider appointing an administrator or curator for someone who loses mental capacity.
  • Financial Planning: Ensure all financial documents are organised and accessible. Gain access to bank accounts, medical aid, and other essential services.
  • Seek Professional Help: For guidance and support, consult financial planners, legal advisors, and medical professionals.
  • Emotional Support: Don’t underestimate the emotional burden. Seek support from family, friends, or professional counsellors.

Approaching the Conversation

Planning for the future empowers you to make informed decisions when the time comes. That’s why having open conversations, however difficult, is essential. They require a great deal of empathy and a willingness to navigate challenging emotions. Most importantly, they need patience, as reaching an understanding may take several conversations.

Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone; organisations https://www.dementiasa.org/ and https://www.adasa.org.za/ are there to help.

Saying Goodbye to the Familiar: A Daughter’s View

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Work. 4 Comments on Saying Goodbye to the Familiar: A Daughter’s View

Moving is listed right up there as one of life’s most stressful events – and having been witness to my parents’ relocation, I wholeheartedly agree. None of us thought it would be a daunting experience. My parents weren’t hoarders and were simply moving to their already-furnished holiday home, so the planning seemed straightforward. Sounds simple, right? Wrong.

No matter how decluttered you believe your life to be, moving is never straightforward and demands detailed planning. While the larger items were accounted for, it was the little things that took the most time. Here is what I learned in the process:

The Challenge of Letting Go: Sentimental Treasures and a Lifetime of Memories

You’d be surprised at how much you can accumulate over the years, even when you think you’re living simply. My seemingly uncluttered parents had shelves overflowing with outdated medical textbooks, endless photo albums, and keepsakes like my dad’s graduation and wedding suits. Each item held a memory, a story from the past. My husband couldn’t fathom why, as a non-smoker, I insisted on bringing home the ashtrays that were scattered around the house in my youth. Eventually, he wisely let it go. However, he drew the line when I wanted to pack the enormous puncher I loved using during countless hours of playing school-school. Packing forces ruthless efficiency. Deciding what to keep and what to let go of is a challenging but necessary part of the process. That’s the reality of moving – sometimes, sentimentality, however painful, has to take a backseat.

The Myth of the Helpful Child

I naively thought I could jump in and make decisions, but that plan fell flat pretty quickly. As much as I wanted to help, it was really up to my mom to face each item, revisit their memories, and decide whether to keep, let go or rehome them. My job was to support her, not take control.

Planning is Key: A Lesson Learned (the Hard Way)

Hindsight is 20/20. Here’s what I wish we’d done differently: planned ahead. Discussing what to keep, donate, or sell well before the moving date would’ve saved a lot of stress. We ended up with limited time, leading to a whirlwind of last-minute decisions. “Donate to Hospice” piles grew rapidly, but we could have sold more with better planning and more time.

Saying Goodbye: Leaving Hometown Roots

Sure, my parents were moving to a beautiful seaside haven, but leaving the town they’d called home for decades was a wrenching experience. Vereeniging, or “VTown” as it’s affectionately known, had been their home for their entire married life. My father practised there as a GP and my mother as a psychologist. Their three daughters were born there, and it was even where I met and married my husband. Our roots run deep, and saying goodbye to the familiar was incredibly hard.

Perhaps the most emotional moment for my mom was when Lizzie, who had worked for our family for over 50 years, came to say goodbye to my parents. These goodbyes made the move seem that much more difficult.

Embrace the Help (Yes, Even When You Think You Don’t Need It)

In hindsight, getting professional help would’ve been a lifesaver. The emotional weight of going through a lifetime of belongings was overwhelming. We also realised the benefit of having experts who specialise in decluttering and facilitating the sale of items. The medical textbooks were a prime example. We thought about donating them to a medical library but fortunately, a doctor friend visited to say goodbye, saw the books, and showed interest. It was comforting to know that these symbols of my father’s love for his profession wouldn’t just end up in a landfill.

The Underestimated Physical Toll

Don’t underestimate the physical toll of moving, either. In the days leading up to the move, my mom’s fitness tracker clocked an average of 16,000 steps a day – and that’s not including the lifting, sorting, and manoeuvring.

On a more positive note, my parents have now settled into their home, surrounded only by physical things that really mattered. It’s a beautiful and inspiring new beginning.

Granting Ourselves the Grace of Self-Permission

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Inspired by Kim’s blog on the power of permission slips, this month’s conversation starter revolves around conversations with ourselves, learning to silence the inner critic, and giving ourselves permission to honour our authentic selves.

The Permission Slip Exercise

We all harbour thoughts, ideas, or beliefs that hold us back. Ask yourself:

  • What are the qualities, thoughts, or inner voices you need to banish?
  • What new beliefs and qualities can you focus on to allow yourself to thrive?

Answer these questions and jot down the limiting beliefs to banish alongside the ones to embrace.

Examples of Self-Permission

Granting ourselves permission takes many shapes; here are a few examples to explore:

  • Permission to Say No: It’s okay to decline requests that don’t align with your values or current priorities. Permit yourself to prioritise your own needs.
  • Permission to Rest: Prioritise your well-being! Grant yourself permission to recharge without feeling guilty.
  • Permission to Celebrate: Celebrate moments and achievements, whether big or small.
  • Permission to Change Your Mind: We’re constantly evolving. Give yourself the flexibility to change your opinions or plans as you gain new insights or experiences. It’s okay to pivot when necessary.
  • Permission to Pursue Passion: Make time for activities that bring you joy, even if they don’t seem practical.
  • Permission to Disconnect: In our hyper-connected world, grant yourself permission to unplug from technology to reconnect with yourself and your surroundings.
  • Permission to Ask for Help: You don’t have to do everything alone. Allow yourself to seek support when you need it.
  • Permission to Prioritise Self-Care: Make your physical, mental, and emotional health a priority. Grant yourself permission to invest in self-care practices that nourish and rejuvenate you.
  • Permission to Set Boundaries: Give yourself permission to set boundaries that protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
  • Permission to Just Be: Sometimes, we just need permission to exist peacefully in the present moment without striving or needing to achieve anything. Give yourself space to breathe, be comfortable in your own skin, and simply “be.”

Sticky Note Reminders

Writing your permission slips on sticky notes and placing them on your mirror, fridge, or above your desk serves as potent reminders and often helps silence the inner critic.

Your Turn

So, what are you going to give yourself permission to do this year? Share your permission slip ideas in the comments below.

Conversation Starters: Are You Avoiding ‘The Talk’ About End-of-Life Plans?

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For many families, the mere thought of discussing end-of-life plans sends shivers down their spines. Laden with anxieties and unspoken worries, these conversations often get pushed aside, creating an even heavier burden down the line. Parents might grapple with a mix of emotions – fear, anxiety, even guilt at needing support or burdening their children. Children, in turn, may worry about upsetting their parents by raising the topic. But here’s the truth: discussing end-of-life plans isn’t a morbid exercise; it’s a gift of clarity and peace of mind for everyone involved.

Let’s explore the contrasting stories of two clients and the valuable lessons they offer.

Client A: Open Dialogue

Sarah and her parents have had open conversations about their wishes for the future. Legal documents are in order, care preferences shared, and even funeral plans discussed. This transparency eliminates last-minute scrambling, eases anxieties, and, most importantly, allows Sarah to cherish each present moment with her parents, free from the weight of unknowns.

Client B: Uncertainty Across Continents

Now, consider Emily’s situation. Her attempts to initiate similar conversations with her parents, living miles away, have felt like pushing against a wall. Despite numerous efforts, the discussions haven’t led to concrete plans or answers to her pressing questions. Unanswered questions linger: Who makes decisions if one parent passes? What are their preferences for care and final wishes? Though named executor, Emily grapples with future logistical hurdles: time zones, legal complexities, and unfamiliar systems. These uncertainties amplify her worries.

While Sarah and Emily’s situations differ, they both highlight the critical role of open communication. Talking now, not later, is the key to avoiding future stress and confusion. Having conversations now provides clarity and reduces future anxieties. Open communication ensures your loved ones’ desires are understood and respected.

Starting the Conversation

Remember, this doesn’t have to be a single, daunting discussion. Take it one step at a time:

  • Begin with shared values: Start with broader questions about their priorities and future aspirations. What matters most to them? What legacy do they wish to leave?
  • Focus on present concerns: Talk about their current preferences for healthcare and living arrangements. This establishes a foundation for future discussions.
  • Listen actively and validate feelings: This is a collaborative effort, not an interrogation. Acknowledge their emotions without judgment.
  • Respect their pace: Understand that these conversations may take time and emotional processing. Be patient and supportive, creating a safe space for open dialogue.
  • Frame it positively: View the conversation as an act of love and preparation, ensuring a smoother transition for everyone.

Talking about mortality isn’t easy, but avoiding it carries a heavier cost. Remember, a little courage and open communication goes a long way. As Brene Brown reminds us, courage is not about daring to jump off a cliff. It’s about having tough conversations about our lives and relationships, showing up when we’re afraid, and doing hard things that matter.

Additional reading: The Importance of a Legacy Folder

Chartered’s Year in Review: Making a Difference Through Give Back Initiatives

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Give back is one of the key components of the Wheel of Balance. It’s important to note that giving back goes beyond charity work; it’s about making a positive impact and establishing a lasting legacy. This can take various forms, including volunteering, mentoring, or supporting causes that align with your values. At Chartered, we strongly believe in giving back, not just during retirement but throughout our lives. That’s why we promote integrating giving back into the lives of our clients and staff. We provide numerous opportunities throughout the year for staff members to participate in give back activities.

This year, we partnered with the Sunshine Association, an organisation dedicated to supporting children with intellectual, developmental, and physical disabilities, as well as their families and communities. The organisation offers a wide range of services, including early intervention, therapy, training, and support groups.

Our initial project involved establishing a thriving vegetable garden that helps provide food for the children and their families. Following this, we designed and constructed a sensory garden for the children. Sensory gardens offer many benefits for children with intellectual, developmental, and physical disabilities, including sensory stimulation, motor development, cognitive enhancement, social and emotional growth, relaxation, and stress reduction. The sensory garden has been a tremendous success, and the children thoroughly enjoy exploring it. Finally, we sanded and painted the jungle gym in the playground.

Some of our staff members spent a wonderful afternoon at the Johannesburg Children’s Home, where they painted the pool fence. The Johannesburg Children’s Home provides a safe haven for up to 64 children who have been deemed in need of care by the Children’s Court. JCH cares for Orphans and Vulnerable Children who have been identified as disadvantaged due to physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, severe neglect, or abandonment.

In our Cape Town office, the giving-back initiative took the form of creating Santa Shoe Boxes. The Santa Shoebox Project is an organisation that collects and distributes personalised gifts consisting of essential items and treats for underprivileged children across South Africa and Namibia. Each year, the project aims to bring joy to over 150,000 children in need.

Meanwhile, staff from our Eastern Cape office assembled care packs for Vistarus Mission Station, an organisation that provides a safe haven for impoverished, homeless, and addicted individuals, with the goal of reintegrating them into society.

These give back initiatives served as a reminder of the profound difference we can make in the lives of others, demonstrating that even the smallest acts of kindness can have a ripple effect, creating a more compassionate and connected community.

Are you involved in any give back initiatives? If so, please get in touch, as we would love to share your story.

The Never-Ending Journey of Learning

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Learn. 1 Comment on The Never-Ending Journey of Learning

At Retire Successfully, we believe that lifelong learning is essential for a fulfilling retirement. Life is a tapestry of many threads; neglecting one can unravel the others. That’s why we’ve identified eight essential elements that weave together a balanced and meaningful retirement: work, give back, relationships, money, learning, health, purpose, and play. This month, we’re focusing on the “learn” element.

What is Lifelong Learning?

Lifelong learning is the continuous pursuit of knowledge and skills throughout one’s life. It is driven by a desire to grow and develop personally and professionally. Lifelong learning can take many forms, including formal education (such as attending college or university), non-formal education (such as taking online courses or workshops), and informal learning (such as reading books, watching documentaries, or engaging in conversations with experts).

The Benefits of Lifelong Learning

The benefits of lifelong learning are far-reaching – it keeps the mind active and engaged, which can help protect cognitive function and reduce the risk of dementia in later life. Learning new things can be an enriching experience, giving people a sense of accomplishment and purpose and helping them live more fulfilling lives. A wonderful added benefit is that continuous learning creates new opportunities for people to connect with others with the same interests.

Lifelong Learner: Meet Stephen Marcus Finn

Chartered client Stephen Marcus Finn is the epitome of a lifelong learner. Although Stephen, who’ll turn 75 next month, has a Master’s in English and a doctorate in Communication, he insists – and persists – in studying further – all the time.

In his mid-sixties, he returned to the piano to do his Grade 8 (the highest level) practical with the Royal Schools of Music, having to start from Grade 4. He did this in one year and, in the same period, went from Grade 1 to his Grade 8 theory exam, which he passed with distinction.

Six years ago, he completed his third year in Film at the Open Window and was also involved in acting at a private institution.

To celebrate his 70th birthday, Stephen gave a piano recital that included works by vegan composers, including the notoriously difficult Alexander Scriabin.

Three years ago, he obtained his Honours in Drama and Film Studies at the University of Pretoria, specialising in Research, Writing and Directing, and earned his degree with distinction. When he obtained his first Honours degree in English, he was the youngest student in his programme at the university; this time around, his fellow students were young enough to be his grandchildren.

Straight after a double-knee replacement, Stephen started writing an academic book on animal rights, Farmed Animals on Film: A Manifesto for a New Ethic, which took him a year to complete and was published by a major company in the USA. He has currently resumed his passion for writing novels, plays and poetry, but intends to continue (in the next year or two) with studies in … whatever he wants to do.

Stephen’s journey is proof of the endless opportunities for growth and fulfilment through lifelong learning. His story shows that it’s never too late to embark on a path of curiosity, discovery, and self-improvement.

Dare to Ask: Embracing Courage in Seeking Assistance and Discovering New Possibilities

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The heart-warming friendship between Margaret Kearns and Brent Lindeque began with a simple question. Read about it in this month’s article by Kim Potgieter. Margaret’s daughters had the courage to invite Brent, a stranger, to their mom’s 70th birthday party, and a beautiful connection blossomed.

In the realm of creative pursuits, Steven Spielberg’s legendary career serves as a testament to the power of courageous asking. His journey took flight when he boldly approached Sid Sheinberg and asked for a chance to direct a feature film. The result? A ground-breaking career that has left an indelible mark on the world of cinema.

Similarly, The Beatles faced rejection from multiple record labels, but their unwavering determination led them to ask George Martin to sign them. This courageous ask launched their extraordinary journey as an iconic band and forever changed the landscape of music.

Reflecting on these examples, it is evident that the fear of hearing “no” shouldn’t hold us back from asking. In fact, some of the most impactful careers, fundraisers, ground-breaking initiatives, and life-changing connections have all begun with someone’s courageous question.

But what about the question of asking for help for ourselves when we need it? In a world where helping others comes naturally, it’s equally important to embrace the courage to ask for assistance when we need it. We often find it easier to extend a helping hand to others, readily offering our support and lending our strength. However, when the time comes for us to seek support ourselves, we may hesitate, held back by the fear of burdening others or the worry of appearing weak.

Fear, pride, and societal expectations can create formidable barriers that make asking for help feel daunting. We fear judgment and the potential rejection that may come with revealing our vulnerabilities. We worry about being seen as incapable or dependent. Yet, it’s crucial to recognise that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a strength that allows for personal growth and deeper connections. When we open ourselves up and ask for help, we demonstrate the courage to confront our challenges head-on.

Asking for help is an act of self-care and self-empowerment. It’s a recognition that we all have limits and that it’s perfectly okay to lean on others for support. In fact, we create opportunities for personal growth and foster stronger connections with those around us through our vulnerability and willingness to seek assistance. It takes courage to acknowledge our needs and reach out to others, trusting in their willingness to help.

The power of courageous asking cannot be underestimated. So go on, ask that stranger to a party, ask those seemingly impossible questions, and most importantly, ask for help if you need it!