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What’s That, Darling?

Written by Clients in Action on . Posted in Client Story, Health. 3 Comments on What’s That, Darling?

“My wife says I should have my ears tested as I battle to hear her when she speaks. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with my hearing; it’s my wife who mumbles.”

The audiologist looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

“And I bet,” I continued, “that every married man of my age says exactly the same to you.”

“That he does,” she replied with a smile.

My ears were tested, my gosh, that was almost ten years ago, and, as usual in a case like this, my wife, Louis, was right.

I decided on the latest type of hearing aid, difficult to notice (obviously some sort of vanity was involved) and started wearing them, but not all the time. I didn’t think there was much difference (Louis did), but when I didn’t have them in during meetings, I had to ask the chair to repeat privately what had been discussed. I also noticed, when I was wearing them, that for the first time in years I could take part in a discussion around the table, especially in a restaurant with all its background noise.

I’d recently entered for an advanced music exam (I’m a wonderfully mediocre pianist) and hadn’t done quite as well as I’d hoped (I passed, though), one reason being that I had to keep on asking the examiner to repeat her instructions or even to replay certain notes so that I could determine what they were. With my new hearing aids, I could hear more acutely (and my performance also improved; well, I thought so even though I still haven’t been asked to perform at Carnegie Hall).

Oh yes, there was also a noticeable cognitive improvement.

Looking at this from the other side, I’ve observed that some men or should I say many men (they seem to be more vain than the women here – that might be for another article) refuse to admit that they’re, in the words of my grandmother, “hard of hearing” (it seems that the word “deaf” is unacceptable). I’ve spoken to quite a number of them, be they friends (or former friends), acquaintances and running mates when I’ve seen them straining to hear, sitting at a table with a fixed Mona Lisa smile and obviously not taking everything in (just as I had done), and even, when I was giving a talk at, for instance, the University of the Third Age, sitting in the front and staring at me (obviously attempting to lip-read); also if anyone dozed off, it would always be those who had difficulty hearing me spout forth wisdom or being gratuitously facile.

So, why have I decided to write this now? Well, it’s all part of outreach or community service. You see (if I recorded this, I’d say, “You hear …” or “don’t hear” as the case might be), at a recent Chartered function, I heard some of my contemporaries talking very loudly at different tables (not always to press a point but because it was a sign of their “hard-of-hearingness” that they weren’t aware of) and others sitting quietly and obviously not following what those around them were saying. When I breezed past them a few times (being sociable and, as is Louis and my wont, chatting to all and, especially, sundry), I looked at those I’d worked out had hearing problems. Yes, dear reader (as Jane Austen said), not one of them was wearing a hearing aid.

No doubt, it’s not only men who have this problem, but from what I’ve seen, they’re more susceptible to vanity here than the women, possibly because the latter can hide their hearing aids under lustrous locks.

So, men, go and get your ears tested, especially when others notice that you’re battling to hear at times. And if you’re too vain to admit your hearing loss (and I bet you’re reading this with your glasses on, so what’s the difference?), just grow your hair or wear a wig. And you’ll find that, if you’re married, your wife has stopped mumbling.

Written By,

Stephen Finn

Why forgetting a name isn’t the whole story

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. 4 Comments on Why forgetting a name isn’t the whole story

I was mid-sentence when it happened. The name was right there. I could see the person’s face. I could hear the story. But the name was gone.

So I paused and consulted my personal librarian, the one who curates my brain’s filing system.

“Do you have any idea,” she says, gesturing around her, “how many files you’ve given me to manage?”

And it’s true. Decades of conversations. Clients. Family stories. Lessons. Books. Travel. Loss. Growth. Thousands of names. Thousands of stories.

Eventually, the answer arrives, usually later, often when I’ve stopped trying so hard to remember.

Can you relate? That moment when a name or memory is just out of reach. It can be frustrating.

It was Arthur Brooks who introduced me to the idea of our “personal research librarian,” the part of the brain tasked with sifting through a vast archive of lived experience. The moment I understood that my librarian, slightly slow and perhaps a little disheveled, has an enormous job to do, something shifted. I stopped blaming myself and started appreciating the size of the library.

In From Strength to Strength, Brooks explains that when we are younger, we rely heavily on fluid intelligence. That is the quick thinking, rapid recall, and ability to solve new problems fast. As we grow older, fluid intelligence may soften, but crystallised intelligence strengthens.

Crystallised intelligence is built from experience. It is pattern recognition, judgement and wisdom. It is the ability to teach, guide and connect ideas across decades.

Brooks suggests that happiness in the second half of life depends on recognising this shift, accepting it, and learning how to use it well. This really resonates with me. It reminds me of something Viktor Frankl once wrote. Early in life, he said, we tend to ask, “What can I expect from life?” Later, the question changes to, “What does life expect of me?”

That feels like the heart of crystallised intelligence.

Perhaps this chapter is not about trying to think the way we did at thirty. Maybe it’s about asking how our experience, our judgement and our perspective can serve something bigger than ourselves.

I see this in my new role at Chartered. My work has shifted. I am less focused on doing everything myself and far more energised by mentoring, teaching, offering counsel and being of service. I enjoy guiding younger planners and bringing perspective. And I have realised that this kind of contribution feels deeply satisfying.

So yes, I look after my brain. I exercise, I challenge it with new tasks (I am now surprisingly competent at setting up smart TVs and installing remote controls) and use supplements like creatine and magnesium. I’ve also found that meditation really helps with focus and clarity.

But in the end, acceptance may be the most powerful support of all.

This chapter of life may ask us to use our gifts differently, with less rush and more wisdom, less proving and more serving.

And that, I think, is a beautiful trade.

Review of How to Sleep Like a Caveman by Dr Merijn Van De Laar

Written by Karen Wilson on . Posted in Chartered Library, Health, Resources. No Comments on Review of How to Sleep Like a Caveman by Dr Merijn Van De Laar

Review of How to Sleep Like a Caveman by Dr Merijn Van De Laar

Why We are Losing The Battle for Sleep

There is a modern-day epidemic of people who toss and turn at night, so it’s likely that either you—or someone you know—bemoans a lack of quality sleep. Dutch sleep therapist Dr Merijn Van De Laar sets out to unravel why rest has become so elusive and offers practical guidance for reclaiming a natural process that no longer comes easily to many of us.

Lessons from Our Ancestors

His starting point is our distant past. While direct evidence of early human sleep is limited, Van De Laar draws on research into contemporary hunter-gatherer societies to explore how people slept when life was simpler and more closely aligned with nature. The comparison provides a valuable lens for examining modern habits that may be working against us.

Deconstructing Sleep Science

If insomnia is your night time nemesis, you may be familiar with some of the advice, but its value lies in clear explanation and repetition. Van De Laar covers the influence of diet, light exposure, temperature, exercise, stimulants, regular bedtimes and individual circadian rhythms. He also demystifies concepts such as sleep pressure, sleep efficiency, sleep inertia and parasomnia, making the science accessible.

When Waking Up isn’t a Problem

He also challenges the magic number of eight hours of sleep. Van De Laar explains that this benchmark lacks firm scientific grounding, suggesting instead that most people function well on a range of just under six to almost seven-and-a-half hours of subjective sleep. He also debunks the idea that waking during the night is inherently problematic. According to him, it becomes an issue only when we respond with anxiety and clock-watching, rather than accepting it as “restful wake” in the way our ancestors likely did. That said, he is clear that overdoing the double espressos or soaring stress levels point to deeper issues that need to be addressed.

A 12-Point Plan for Practical Insomnia Relief

Van De Laar is careful to note that conditions such as sleep apnoea and narcolepsy need specialised treatment. However, for those of us grappling with common insomnia, the book concludes with a sensible 12-point plan designed to optimise sleep. Grounded in research and delivered with calm authority, How to Sleep Like a Caveman is a practical guide for anyone hoping to make peace with the night.

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From “I’m fine” to “Let me tell you how I really am”

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. 2 Comments on From “I’m fine” to “Let me tell you how I really am”

We live in a world filled with noise, yet so many people feel unheard.

How often have you answered “I’m fine” when you’re not? Or asked someone how they are, only to get the same automatic reply in return? It’s become second nature – a routine that keeps things polite but not real.

I’m reminded of the lyrics from The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel – people “talking without speaking” and “hearing without listening.” We smile, we nod, and say we’re okay – even when we’re not. We hold our struggles close, ashamed to admit that things aren’t quite right. We feel the pressure to appear strong, capable, and in control … even when we’re falling apart inside. We tell ourselves that we should have it all figured out by now. But life doesn’t work that way. It’s full of transitions – emotional shifts, changing identities, evolving relationships. Transitions are messy. Life is messy. And sometimes, it’s just hard.

This is what I’ve learnt: you don’t have to do it alone.

At the moment, my husband and I are seeing a marriage counsellor. I’m not sharing this because it’s easy to talk about. I’m sharing it because it matters. Saying “we need help” isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an honest, brave step towards understanding each other better, and creating space for growth and healing.

What worries me is how often we tiptoe around our struggles. We convince ourselves we’re the only ones feeling this way, holding our sadness, frustration, loneliness, and fear inside. And at the same time, we stop asking each other the real questions.

“How are you?” has become a script. A question we ask without really meaning it.
“I’m fine, thanks. And you?” – the rehearsed reply.

But what if we slowed down and really asked? What if we looked someone in the eyes and said, “No, really – how are you?” Sometimes, just knowing someone cares enough to listen is enough.

And when we stop pretending – when we speak our truth – something shifts.
We open the door to connection and support.
We make space for unexpected insight, comfort, and even solutions.

You might be surprised what happens when you say something out loud. It might be a book that finds you at the right moment. A conversation that shifts your perspective. A friend who says, “Me too.” Or a professional who gives you the tools to move forward.

So, if you’re carrying something silently, ask yourself: What would happen if I stopped trying to manage this on my own? What would it feel like to let someone in?

Life is far too precious to allow yourself to be stuck in silence. There is power in naming what you need, in choosing honesty over perfection, and in breaking the sound of silence.

The world doesn’t need your perfection. It needs your honesty.
And the people who love you – they want to know how you really are.

Book of the Month: “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

Written by Karen Wilson on . Posted in Chartered Library, Health, Resources. No Comments on Book of the Month: “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

What if the secret to more happiness, freedom, and peace was just two little words? In The Let Them Theory, bestselling author and mindset powerhouse Mel Robbins delivers her most liberating message yet: Let Them.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck trying to manage other people’s expectations, emotions, or opinions—this book is your permission slip to stop. With her signature no-nonsense style, real-life stories, and deep insight, she encourages us to release the exhausting habit of trying to control what we can’t and instead refocus on what we can—ourselves.

Whether it’s managing complicated family dynamics, handling stress at work, letting go of comparisons, or silencing your inner critic, The Let Them Theory offers science-backed tools to reclaim your energy and peace of mind. It’s a simple yet powerful idea: let them judge, let them leave, let them have their opinions… and turn your attention back to what truly matters to you.

What I especially love about this book is how universal and empowering the message is. Mel’s writing feels like a conversation with a wise (and witty) friend who has your best interests at heart. You may already know her from The Mel Robbins Podcast, where she shares bite-sized strategies for motivation and mindset. This book captures that same magic—but goes even deeper.

Through relatable examples, Mel shows how freeing it can be to let others be who they are—while staying grounded in your own values and goals. I’ve found myself recommending The Let Them Theory to just about everyone lately—and for good reason. It’s a reminder that you don’t need to fix everything or everyone. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is… let them.

A copy of the book is available for short-term loan from the Chartered library.

Each step counts toward living your best life

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. No Comments on Each step counts toward living your best life

I have learned that true purpose is not found in one grand pursuit but in the quiet moments of joy, the things we love, and the dreams we allow ourselves to follow every day.

This year, at the age of 56, I ran the Berlin Marathon—achieving my ‘wildly improbable dream!’ Just six weeks later, I became a grandmother for the first time. What I’ve learned is that age doesn’t define you. It just gives you better stories to tell. Yes, running the marathon stretched me in ways I hadn’t anticipated, but when we step beyond what feels comfortable, we grow in ways we never imagined. Each step brings us closer to living a life with fewer regrets.

Dreams are rarely smooth journeys. They challenge us to push through discomfort, teach us to embrace vulnerability, and show up even when there’s no guarantee of success. For me, this year wasn’t just about preparing for a marathon; it was about navigating the shifts of midlife. With all three of my children away from home, I found myself redefining my role as a mother and adjusting to a new chapter in my life. Training for the marathon tested my physical endurance, but the emotional side of empty nest was perhaps the hardest to navigate.

Through it all, I learned the power of small steps: consistently showing up, setting clear goals, and taking it one step at a time. I also came to appreciate having such an incredible support system. Their encouragement carried me through the toughest days and reminded me that life’s journey is best done with the special people in your life.

I’ve come to believe that the best way to look back on life without regret is to align your time with what matters most. Start by knowing where you want to go, then let your actions and decisions lead you there. The beautiful thing is that one dream often leads to another. Achieving a ‘wildly improbable dream’ fills you with a sense of possibility and self-belief. You start to see that you can achieve anything you set your heart on.

Imagine what’s possible if you gave yourself permission to pursue your wildly improbable dreams. This newsletter is filled with inspiring stories of clients who have done just that—finding joy, purpose, and creating lasting memories along the way. Perhaps purpose is simply doing what you love, each experience and memory you make adding a new chapter to who you are.

Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. 6 Comments on Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Have you ever had a dream—something you’ve always wanted to do but hesitated to pursue, afraid you might fail? Or perhaps you were too afraid to share, worried you may not succeed. For me, that dream was running the Berlin Marathon. Two years ago, I put it on my vision board and called it my “Wildly Improbable Dream.” It wasn’t just about the race—it was about pushing my limits and proving that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

In September this year, my dream came true. At the age of 56, I ran through the streets of Berlin in one of the largest marathons in the world. The joy on my face tells the story! Every photo along the route shows a beaming smile, no matter how tired I felt. But dreams aren’t supposed to be easy. As Kahlil Gibran said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” The resilience it took to keep going when the road got tough made this dream even more meaningful.

Here are the lessons I learned from chasing my dream:

The first step was knowing why I wanted to do this. Sure, I wanted to test my limits, but it was more than that. This dream allowed me to combine all my greatest loves: running, travelling, and learning. Along the way, I explored beautiful cities across Europe, learned new recipes at Toscana Saporita in Tuscany, and took in the sights of Italy—a true celebration of everything that brings me joy.

Small steps, big gains
The secret to success? Consistency. I learned from Atomic Habits that improving by just 1% every day adds up to being 37 times better over time. So, I stuck to my running schedule, rain or shine. I consistently got up early and pushed through tough days—even when life tried to get in the way.

Setbacks aren’t stop signs
Of course, setbacks happen. After Covid, I had complications with my heart rate that I monitored closely throughout training. And getting into the marathon wasn’t easy either. After trying and failing to register through the organisers, the lottery, travel agents, and charities, I nearly gave up. But my support group encouraged me to try one last time, and miraculously, a spot opened, and I finally got my chance.

Your support system is everything
The night before the marathon, fear crept in. I was nervous—what if I couldn’t do it? But then came the messages from my sons, Josh and Ryan, and from my friends and Gabi, all cheering me on. Their encouragement made such a difference. As I stood at the starting line, tears in my eyes, I knew I wasn’t doing this alone. Their support carried me, step by step.

Have fun
When the whistle blew, I reminded myself of something important—I wasn’t just here to run; I was here to enjoy every minute. I kept my pace steady, only walking through the water stations, and savoured every moment. That feeling of joy and pride has stuck with me since.

One dream leads to another
Achieving a wildly improbable dream gives you a sense of limitless possibility. Once you’ve crossed that finish line, it feels like no challenge is too great, no goal too far out of reach. You start believing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid to fail? Chase your wildly improbable dream with all your heart!

A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. 2 Comments on A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

“What now?” is a thought that has been on my mind a lot this year as I navigate my empty nest. My role as a mother has changed – it’s different now – but there’s a space that I need to fill with something else. I have been exploring new challenges and embracing new opportunities that push me to grow, and what I’ve learnt in this process is that stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t just require courage – it might also take a little bit of luck.

Running in the Berlin Marathon has been on my vision board for the past two years. It was meant to be a gift to myself during this empty nest year, but it has made me question my gift-giving capabilities. This gift has sometimes felt more like a punishment – just over 42km of running is no walk in the park! But there’s something about the challenge that has drawn me in. I’m spending hours training and cultivating the habit of running, and one of the pros of this time on the road is that it gives me time to think. I’ve learnt the art of perseverance and patience, but I’ve also come to realise that a sprinkle of luck can change everything.

Entry into the Berlin Marathon is via a lottery system, which I duly entered at the end of last year but didn’t get in. Very disappointed but still determined, I turned to other ways to gain entry, charities and travel agencies, with no luck. Just as I thought the dream was slipping through my fingers, a spot opened – as if the universe was giving me a nudge. Out of the blue, I received the message: I could participate.

Sometimes, the best-laid plans need a little help from the unpredictable forces of life. You can prepare, train, and do everything right, but outcomes are not always in our control. Morgan Housel beautifully writes in The Psychology of Money: “Luck and risk are both the reality that every outcome in life is guided by forces other than individual effort…The accidental impact of actions outside of your control can be more consequential than the ones you consciously take.”

It’s not that effort doesn’t matter; it’s just that life, with its infinite moving parts, has a way of surprising us. The key is to keep showing up and putting yourself out there – even if success isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, that little bit of luck makes all the difference.

Our very own Olympic medallist, Tatjana Smith, embodies this idea perfectly. After winning her gold and silver medals, she said something that stuck with me: “On any other day, any other swimmer could have taken gold. We are not better than each other; that day was just my day.”

This isn’t to say we must depend on luck alone. It’s a reminder that when you dare to try something new, you may be surprised at how the stars can sometimes align in your favour. Preparing for the Berlin Marathon has taught me never to say “I can’t” and to challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. It’s also taught me to leave a little space for luck.

So, don’t be afraid to take the leap. Yes, there will be bumps along the way. Sometimes, things won’t go as planned. But keep showing up. Keep saying yes to new experiences. And who knows? With a bit of perseverance and maybe even a dash of luck, you might find yourself achieving something you never thought possible.

Review of “Still Breathing”, a novel by Marita van der Vyver

Written by Karen Wilson on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Review of “Still Breathing”, a novel by Marita van der Vyver

Our May 2024 Book of the Month is a fiction pick written by a well-known local author. Published in 2023, the novel is set on the Cape West Coast, a region that will be familiar to many South Africans.

The book’s theme is friendship and connection that spans decades and distance. The main characters met one another as university students in South Africa from the late 1960s into the ’70s, or through early jobs. In 2020, they have a long-awaited reunion to celebrate two 70th birthdays in their circle—the first time in 25 years that they have all managed to get together.

Of course, “life happens”, as it inevitably does: a few had left South Africa for another country; others had divorced or lost their partners; some now had adult children plus recent grandchildren; a less-traditional family unit had taken shape; and a couple of them were dealing with life-threatening illness and traumatic events.

The story also embraces the dreams, hopes, and trials of the next generation attending the celebrations at the St Helena Bay beach house—their young lives intertwined because of their parents’ enduring bond.

While the book essentially covers a celebratory weekend in early March 2020, in the looming shadow of COVID-19, the personal journeys of the various characters emerge throughout the book.

And for those wondering about the book title, it was the whimsical name they gave to their reunion-planning WhatsApp group!

Our Chartered client library has a copy of this relatable novel, which can be borrowed on a short-term basis.

Time for a Geriatrician?

Written by Clients in Action on . Posted in Health. 1 Comment on Time for a Geriatrician?

By Stephen Marcus Finn

Many of us have had to cope with elderly or really old family members who have fallen into decrepitude. They have not been able to meet physical or cognitive demands and were unprepared to move into that new phase of life. The result was that we have had to take on all the responsibility.

And now many of us are reaching that stage, too, and we’re reasonably sure that none of us would want to put that burden on our children or even grandchildren.

So how should we prepare? One way is to visit a geriatrician. Babies and children have needs different from adults; hence, there are medical doctors who specialise in this field: pediatricians. Similarly, older adults have medical concerns different from those they had when they were younger; and here the specialists are geriatricians.

At this stage, my wife, Louis and I, are physically, cognitively and emotionally healthy, still working and working out, still having a hectic cultural life, still travelling a lot, and relishing our family. We realise, however, that this might hit a hiccough, or something more permanent, at some stage, whether it’s in a few months or several decades. We felt we needed a baseline to compare ourselves to ourselves as we get older.

We have been going to a physician annually for over thirty years and, excellent though he is, he is not an expert on those who are not in the first flush of youth, the more mature, the elderly. It’s time for a geriatrician whom we went to a few months ago. She questioned us in detail about our lifestyle (from what we ate to what medications we were on to how we occupied ourselves to whether we lived in a house with stairs or not), looked at our blood results, examined us physically, and tested our cognitive skills with a series of tasks that ranged from memory to vocabulary to arithmetic skills to drawing. She then gave us a frank assessment of our state of being and arranged another appointment for next year.

She will also watch us closely and in the event of either or both of us slipping in any way, we will be able to make plans as to what to do, where to go, how to manage ourselves, before our children have that burden. And that is another important aspect of going to a geriatrician: not to leave the arrangements for care to others; to do it all ourselves while we can. In this way we can be in control of our lives for longer. However, we must all be frank and honest with ourselves about this. Don’t say: “I’ll know when it’s time to move into a retirement home; I’ll know when I should stop driving; I’ll know when I can’t hear that well anymore.” By the time you should know it, you might not be capable of managing it. You might not know anymore what you should know. This is also where geriatricians are important: they will lead you to this realisation in time.

All of us have taken the first important, even vital, step towards planning for our lives as we age by our being part of Chartered Wealth, who have a number of people who are gerontologists, who manage and advise us on our lifestyle and finances.

You might ask what the difference is between a geriatrician and a gerontologist. Gerontologists are professionals who are qualified to work with the elderly; they can be nurses, psychologists, social workers and financial planners. All geriatricians are gerontologists, but not all gerontologists are geriatricians. South Africa has about twenty registered geriatricians in the Western Cape, Gauteng and KwaZulu Natal.

It’s important that we go not only to gerontologists but to geriatricians before our get up and go has got up and gone.

Click here for a list of geriatricians as provided by the South African Geriatrics Society.

Beyond Forgetfulness: Understanding and Supporting Someone with Alzheimer’s

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Beyond Forgetfulness: Understanding and Supporting Someone with Alzheimer’s

Chartered client Sarah knows all too well the long shadow Alzheimer’s disease can cast on families. Witnessing her father’s decline has been a heartbreaking journey, filled with frustration and a deep sense of loss.

“It started subtly,” Sarah recalls. “Misplaced keys, forgotten appointments, struggles to find the right words. We brushed it off as normal forgetfulness that comes with age.” But as time passed, the forgetfulness morphed into something more concerning. Simple tasks became overwhelming, and conversations repetitive. “My dad fell prey to scams,” Sarah shared, “which left him feeling vulnerable and embarrassed to admit his mistakes.”

Sarah’s attempts to discuss her father’s condition were met with resistance. “He wouldn’t accept there was a problem,” she explains. “It was incredibly frustrating. How do you talk to someone about a disease they refuse to acknowledge?” This is a common challenge for families facing Alzheimer’s. The disease’s insidious nature can cloud judgment and make admitting vulnerability difficult. But Sarah’s story emphasises a crucial message: early conversations about future care, even before any signs of dementia, are essential.

Wall of Denial

One of the hardest aspects was dealing with her dad’s denial. He adamantly refused to discuss his condition or accept help. This extended to finances, daily responsibilities, and his overall deteriorating state. His pride and stubbornness made constructive conversations nearly impossible. Sarah’s attempts to discuss planning and support were met with resistance, sometimes anger.

The Burden of Responsibility

As the signs became undeniable, Sarah’s concerns grew not just for her dad but also for her disabled brother, who depended on him entirely. The realisation that her dad’s declining ability to manage finances could jeopardise her brother’s future added immense pressure. He managed his own investments, paid for his son’s medical aid, and handled all financial affairs. If he were to pass away or become incapacitated, Sarah would be left to untangle the financial mess.

Taking Action

Over time, Sarah took incremental steps to secure her dad’s and brother’s future. This involved gathering information about his assets, creating a folder with important documents, and gaining third-party access to his medical aid. She managed to set up a trust for her brother.

Emotional Toll

The emotional toll of this journey cannot be understated. Witnessing her dad struggle with cognitive tests was heartbreaking. The frustration of his denial, coupled with the immense responsibility of managing his affairs, strained her relationships with him. It was difficult not to become resentful as her time and energy were consumed.

Practical Advice

For those in similar situations, here are some practical steps to consider:

  • Legal Preparedness: Understand the limitations of the power of attorney and consider appointing an administrator or curator for someone who loses mental capacity.
  • Financial Planning: Ensure all financial documents are organised and accessible. Gain access to bank accounts, medical aid, and other essential services.
  • Seek Professional Help: For guidance and support, consult financial planners, legal advisors, and medical professionals.
  • Emotional Support: Don’t underestimate the emotional burden. Seek support from family, friends, or professional counsellors.

Approaching the Conversation

Planning for the future empowers you to make informed decisions when the time comes. That’s why having open conversations, however difficult, is essential. They require a great deal of empathy and a willingness to navigate challenging emotions. Most importantly, they need patience, as reaching an understanding may take several conversations.

Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone; organisations https://www.dementiasa.org/ and https://www.adasa.org.za/ are there to help.

What’s missing in your health routine?

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. No Comments on What’s missing in your health routine?

Check-in with your check-ups

During my time with Chip Conley at his Learning to Love Midlife workshop at the Modern Elder Academy (MEA), I realised that I may still have half my life ahead of me. At 55, it’s certainly not the time to start thinking about slowing down or stepping back. I have more life left than I thought! But it also made me realise that it was time to check in with my health.

Am I keeping fit? Check. I’m running half marathons and train regularly.
Am I eating healthy? Check. Apart from my sugar cravings, I do my best.
Do I have any outstanding medical check-ups? No.
How am I doing emotionally and mentally? I’m doing the best I can. Midlife can get messy, and with so many changes to navigate in this “messy middle” part of my life, the one thing I can do is make sure I take time out when I need to – to reflect, do the introspection, be grateful and be open to embracing wisdom and intuition.

So, what part of my health have I neglected? My teeth.

I needed braces as a child, but as my dad did not have medical aid, it was never an option. As an adult, getting braces was also never a priority for me (I was never going to be that beauty queen with perfect teeth anyway!) Now, in my mid-50s, the dentists tell me that the overcrowding in my mouth could cause my bite to go out of alignment if left untreated. I wish I’d known earlier in my life that braces are not just for aesthetic reasons. One of the most important reasons for getting braces is to correct your ‘bite’ and ensure the long-term health of your teeth.

Honestly, it’s hard getting braces in your 50s. Not only has the first week been extremely painful, but it’s also a mental adjustment that I need to make. Holistic health means looking after every part of our bodies, minds and hearts (including our teeth) and preparing well for our longer lives.

Is there any part of your health you’ve neglected or just haven’t gotten around to? A check-up that you’ve been putting off? A hip or knee replacement that feels too daunting? Perhaps it’s time to take action sooner rather than later, remembering that our bodies and minds are our most valuable assets.

Taking care of our health is a continuous journey, especially as we age. By prioritising our well-being, we can try our best to live our remaining years with vitality and purpose. So, whether it’s a dental check-up, a fitness routine, or a procedure you’ve delayed, let’s commit to our health today. Your future self will thank you.

South African Masters Swimming

Written by Clients in Action on . Posted in Client Story, Health. 2 Comments on South African Masters Swimming

Inspired by fun, friendship and fitness

by Sandy Murray, Chartered client.

Swimming is a great way to keep mentally and physically fit. Many of us, however, need considerable motivation to take the plunge – so to speak.

South African Masters Swimming is a fraternity of aqua enthusiasts who enjoy keeping fit and setting their sights on maintaining or shaving seconds off their previous personal best times. The year’s highlight is the Masters National Championships, which brings together swimmers across South Africa and beyond for a 4-day gala. The excitement of the 379 swimmers – aged 20 to over 90 – is invigorating; everyone is decked out in their club colours, greeting their comrades and competitors, and eyeing the 50m pool with apprehension – or eagerness to clinch bronze, silver, or gold medals.

I met Marion Hollander at Chartered, and we both swim for the largest team, Wahoo Masters. Our section of the stand is generally the most festive, with a swathe of 120 purple t-shirts, banners, silly hats, and other festive paraphernalia.

The 2024 Masters Nationals was a first for Marion: “This was the first time I swam in a gala since primary school – let alone a Nationals Masters Gala! It was terrifying, and I was completely out of my comfort zone. However, I managed to swim in all my races and even got a bronze medal for coming third in one of them. It ended up being a fantastic experience. I met many people, including Sandy, whom I recognised from Chartered Wealth! What a wonderful four days!”

I have swum with Masters for many years, inspired by my teammates who, well into their senior years, continue to relish their sport and strive to break South African records. Our oldest swimmer, Patrick Galvin, a 91-year-old Australian, holds breaststroke world records in his age group and South African Colours. Hosting our American team members added a bonus social dimension to the event for my family. Each member of my relay team earned a silver medal, a proud memento of the event.

Marion and I, fuelled by the fun, friendship, and fitness of Masters Swimming, are ready to set the bar of our achievements even higher for the 2025 40th Masters National Championships.

Don’t sweat the big goals!

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. 1 Comment on Don’t sweat the big goals!

Small Habits – Big Impact

I just crossed the finish line at my second Two Oceans Half Marathon! It may seem like a small victory, but it’s a big win for me and one that I celebrate proudly. Running a marathon was never really my main goal – but exercise and fitness have always been important to me. Don’t misunderstand me; when I first started running, it didn’t go exactly as planned. It’s tough getting up early mornings, and it’s much easier to hit the snooze button, especially on cold winter mornings or lazy weekends.

James Clear’s book Atomic Habits profoundly impacted my life, and his words deeply resonated with me:

“If you want to predict where you’ll end up in life, all you have to do is follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses and see how your daily choices will compound ten or twenty years down the line.”

So, I followed James Clear’s advice to cultivate smaller, achievable habits rather than pursuing big, audacious goals. Instead of setting out to run a marathon, I focused on tiny gains (consistent, small habits) and became a habitual runner. And the best part is that habits become part of your lifestyle over time.

I truly believe that the only way to look back at your life without regret is to align your time with what’s most important to you. So firstly, know where you want to go, and then make sure that your actions, decisions, and the time you spend on them allow you to achieve that goal.

Too often, we convince ourselves that big success requires big actions. But success is the product of small, repeated actions or habits – no matter what your dreams are, you can achieve them with the right habits. It’s the same principles I teach my midlife clients about investing: accumulating wealth is not a skill; it’s a habit. If you persevere, consistently save, and live below your means, you can cultivate the right habits to build wealth.

Reflect for a moment on the path of your life and where your daily actions are leading you. What you don’t want is to look back and wish you’d spent more time doing the things you love. When you decide what’s most important in your life, you can start making small daily changes to ensure you align your time without regrets. It’s the tiny steps you take that will eventually change everything!

Once I established a consistent routine around my health and fitness goals, it opened the door to stacking other important goals – like learning and travelling. I am busy planning to participate in the Berlin Marathon in September. It’s quite a stretch, seeing that I’ve only run 21km races so far (I really have to up my game to run this 42km marathon), but this isn’t just about the run. It’s about combining my broader intentions of travelling and learning with destination runs.

Let every tiny step be a celebration of moving closer to the life you envision.

OUTLIVE by Dr Peter Attia

Written by Pat Blamire on . Posted in Chartered Library, Health, Resources. No Comments on OUTLIVE by Dr Peter Attia

“Outlive – the Science and Art of Longevity” is a compelling exploration of longevity, health, and the science behind ageing gracefully. Dr Attia draws upon his extensive experience in medicine and research to provide readers with practical insights and strategies for extending lifespan while maintaining optimal health.

He talks about the Four Horsemen, being the four main chronic diseases that afflict us as we get older: heart disease, cancer, diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. In trying to live longer, and live better for longer, he maintains that we need to step in sooner rather than later to try and stop the Horsemen in their tracks.

The objective is not to live to 120 or 150, but rather to start thinking about our later years now and taking action to improve the quality of these years.

Dr Attia delves into the underlying mechanisms of ageing and covers topics such as genetics, diet, exercise, sleep, and mental well-being. He has tried to simplify complicated subjects to enable the layman to understand them. He does not offer quick-fix solutions or gimmicky trends and does not believe there is a one-size-fits-all; longevity requires a personalised approach. He discusses the importance of nutrition and exercise, encouraging readers to take a proactive role in optimising their well-being.

There is no “magic pill” that he comes up with. He maintains that the most potent longevity drug is exercise. No other intervention does nearly as much to prolong our lifespan and preserve our cognitive and physical function. However, he believes that most people do not do nearly enough of this.

Overall, “Outlive” is a thought-provoking and informative book for anyone interested in maximising their lifespan and improving their quality of life. It empowers readers to make informed choices that align with their unique needs and goals and offers a roadmap for achieving longevity and vitality well into old age.

A copy of Dr Peter Attia’s “Outlive” is available for short-term loan from the Chartered client library.

A review of Breathe (Strategising Energy in the Age of Burnout) by Dr Ela Manga

Written by Karen Wilson on . Posted in Chartered Library, Health, Resources. No Comments on A review of Breathe (Strategising Energy in the Age of Burnout) by Dr Ela Manga

Review by Karen Wilson

Dr Ela Manga is a Johannesburg-based doctor who found her calling in integrative medicine. Burnout from the stress and challenges of modern-day life and technology was the crux of many patient ailments, and she has focused her work on ways to address this energy crisis.

As Dr Manga explains, many people now live in a persistent state of adrenalised energy. Whilst this serves the purpose of dealing with short-term stressful or demanding situations, it is crucial to balance out this high-energy state with a rest and recovery mode – what she refers to as authentic or natural energy, when the body’s parasympathetic nervous system is activated. If energy balance is out of kilter for years, symptoms such as insomnia, panic attacks, extreme fatigue, depression, recurrent infections, and heart disease will start to show up.

The book is divided into three sections – Body Intelligence, Mind Intelligence and Heart Intelligence. A selection of her patient stories depicts how their lifestyles, habits and beliefs eventually landed them either in the Danger Zone (more wired than tired) or the Burnout Zone (more tired than wired), signs of which Dr Manga describes in her Energy Zone Map. The third zone is the Optimum Zone, where we should ideally be – at least most of the time!

In the context of the stories, the book covers areas such as diet, rest, exercise, mindfulness, connecting with nature, and conscious breathing as antidotes to energy imbalance and burnout. Dr Manga has a particular interest in the breath and how it can be harnessed for authentic energy, and she shares some simple breathing techniques to incorporate into daily life. She talks about the importance of regular ‘recovery loops’ – these can be as brief as a good sigh and a stretch or as long as a weekend getaway – to help restore a sense of calm and well-being.

A copy of Breathe is available in our Chartered Client Library for short-term loans. You can find more information on Dr Ela Manga and her ‘Breathwork’ on her website, www.drelamanga.com.

First time running the Two Oceans Marathon

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health, Kim's Blogs. No Comments on First time running the Two Oceans Marathon

Yes! You read that right! I just completed my first time ever 21km half-marathon. The Two Oceans is known as “the world’s most beautiful marathon,” and running against the backdrop of the breathtaking Cape Peninsula must be one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. And this is the new experience I’m sharing with you this month.

I have learnt that having a clear goal is essential to trying something new or doing something for the first time. Running a half-marathon has been on my vision board for a few years, and you may remember me sharing it with you – even in Covid times. Two words stand out for me in achieving this goal: persistence and consistency. Believe me, getting up every single morning to run, especially in winter, is not easy. And your aim does not have to be easy either. You may decide to take up art or learn a musical instrument. You may want to walk the Camino de Santiago – or the Cape Camino. But every journey begins with one single step. And the first step is setting your goal. In my experience, persistence and consistency get you where you want to go.

Sometimes, trying out something new is a deeply personal journey you may want to go alone. But a lot of times, having special people join you – or support you – makes it so much easier – and enjoyable. I had many partners on my running journey, including my 22-year-old niece, Robyn. And thank goodness for Robyn! I was initially intent on running a 42km marathon, and Robyn convinced me to start slightly smaller – we agreed on the 21km instead. It turned out to be great advice! Running up and down the hills was much harder than I thought it’d be.

One of our Planning Specialists at Chartered, Craig Harrison, also ran with me. He could have finished the marathon in a much better time but opted to stay back and support me, for which I am so grateful. Although you’re the one doing the work, you end up not running alone. Running in the Two Oceans felt like being embraced in a wonderful community of people helping and supporting you to the end. And it was lovely to see my husband Gys, my son Josh and his partner Rachel waiting for me and welcoming me over the finish line.

Sometimes you may have to call in extra people to help you reach your goal. I have a great running trainer and teamed up with a functional trainer who helped me exercise the right muscles to get me over the steep hills.

It really does help to have a support system when trying new things. Whether planning a unique adventure, a fresh learning experience or a new venture, having people who believe in you and encourage you along the way can make all the difference. But more than that, trying new things often calls for stepping out of our comfort zones. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine and shy away from something new. But new experiences can lead to personal growth and a sense of accomplishment.

Remember, trying something new does not have to be a grand gesture but something small that pushes you out of your comfort zone. And the rewards are often worth it!

Cleaning up your Mental Mess by Dr Caroline Leaf

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Reviewed by Karen Wilson

The workings of the human mind and the brain (Dr Leaf explains the distinction) make fascinating and complex subject matter. The author of Cleaning up your Mental Mess tells us that people are not totally at the mercy of their thoughts, and that anxiety, stress, trauma, and toxic thinking can be addressed with some mind management techniques. In her words, “events and circumstances can’t be controlled”; however, “we can control our reactions”.

Throughout the book Dr Leaf highlights the neuroplasticity of the brain – how it changes in response to positive or negative thought patterns that also impact our physical health. Her solution for “mental mess” is a five-step learning process she has dubbed ‘the Neurocycle’, which is designed to make you more aware of your thinking/feeling/choosing around an issue, reflect on it, write it down, reconceptualize, and take action steps to implement your new thinking.

According to Dr Leaf’s extensive research, her Neurocycle needs to be practised consistently for at least 63 days (the widely held belief that it takes 21 days to form a habit doesn’t apply here!) to produce real change. She claims that toxic stress and anxiety can be reduced by up to 81% using her five-step Neurocycle and, since your mental landscape is not static, suggests that the ideal approach would be to make this an ongoing lifestyle. She also refers to an app (not free), which she developed to complement the book.

The book is divided into two parts, with the first half focusing on clinical research data that may prove heavy-going for readers who don’t want to learn about the finer points of alpha and beta brain waves or the effects of unmanaged stress on blood measures and chromosomes. This forms the foundation for the Neurocycle that she elaborates on in Part 2. Her writing is inclined to be a little repetitive.

Dr Caroline Leaf is a US-based communication pathologist and neuroscientist who has done research in her field for over 30 years. Her book is available in our Chartered client library for short-term loan.

Review of Atomic Habits by James Clear

Written by Karen Wilson on . Posted in Chartered Library, Health, Resources. No Comments on Review of Atomic Habits by James Clear

Reviewed by Karen Wilson

If your 2023 resolutions to exercise more, smoke less and eat better are already looking somewhat shaky, then James Clear’s Atomic Habits may well be the book that gets you back on track.

Clear shares a simple four-step model (Cue, Craving, Response, Reward) to describe how habits, both good and bad, are formed – and our brains follow this pattern every time. He also explains in uncomplicated terms how human nature, as well as culture, values, personality, and environment all come into play. The book is interspersed with fascinating stories of individuals, sports teams, and companies that have harnessed the power of great habits.

Based on his four laws of behaviour change (Make it Obvious, Make It Attractive, Make It Easy, Make It Satisfying), the author then guides you through setting up effective systems to build good habits and break bad ones. These include tools like habit stacking, motivation rituals, the two-minute rule and reinforcement for creating good habits, along with some inverse strategies for banishing the bad ones.

Clear firmly believes that setting up sustainable good habits is not about giant shifts, getting mired in too much detail or aiming for perfection. It all comes down to small actions that compound over time. If you’re just not getting to those one-hour three-times-a-week French lessons that you’ve been planning since you went to Paris five years ago, start by spending just two minutes daily on a language app. Ditto for an exercise programme – even if all you do for a while is roll out a yoga mat and take a deep breath every day. Frequency makes the difference and will fuel the habit.

The book is practical and an easy read, with a summary at the end of each chapter and a handy ‘cheat sheet’ grid of his four laws of behaviour, which he updates as the book progresses.

A copy of James Clear’s bestseller Atomic Habits is available in our Chartered client library for short-term loan.

Return to self – Margie’s weight loss journey

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Chartered client Margie Kennard Davis reached a point where she was tired of feeling miserable. She disliked her body and felt conscious of how she looked; she was living off Gaviscon to try and control her heartburn; she had a sore body and couldn’t sleep. Hearing about someone her age suffering from a stroke and realising her high-risk factor, given her co-morbidities, should she get Covid was a tipping point for her, and she decided to do something about it.

Margie knew all about dieting and had tried every diet in the book. A few years ago, she signed up for the Real Meal Revolution Hero programme, which she began but stopped because she wasn’t committed. However, she was still on their mailing list, and after reading inspirational stories, she decided to give it a second chance.

She admits that, at first, she was sceptical and wondered what a group environment’s benefits could be. She was pleasantly surprised. She didn’t expect anything as structured and liked the intellectual and psychological approach to food and weight loss. As a curious person, she loves researching, so she felt she had a good understanding of nutrition, but the programme gave her the tools to implement it. The group environment was a non-judgmental, intellectual and supportive space.

A significant part of this journey for Margie was changing her identity and her relationship with food and, more importantly, believing that she wasn’t a failure because she had failed to lose weight in the past.

And it worked. Margie lost 27 kilograms in 27 weeks and is now the weight she was at 27! Margie was very active as a youngster and feels she has come full circle and is back in a healthy space. She has undone all the damage she did and described her transformation as returning to her true self. Her new physique is now part of her identity. She has been given her life back and shines; she likes how she now sees herself. What a gift that is.

Margie walks for an hour five to seven days a week; she does two pilates and two to three yoga classes weekly. She feels stronger, fitter, happier and healthier than she has in decades.

Click here to watch her interview with RMR on YouTube

Mindfulness – a way of perceiving, thinking, and behaving

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Mindfulness – a way of perceiving, thinking, and behaving

Life can feel overwhelming, frantic and exhausting at times. Just think of everything going on right now, our unstable economy, load-shedding, and interrupted water supply, to name a few. And it’s impacting our happiness and health.

As our minds fill with chatter, our worldview becomes tainted and distorted, and our ability to be present is lost. Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to the present moment. You would be forgiven for thinking that mindfulness is just an activity; in fact, mindfulness is a way of perceiving and observing, and it can be developed using various tools. Some of these tools include meditation, exercises, and breathing.

Mindfulness takes us beyond coping and making do. To be mindful means paying attention to what is happening in the mind, body, and immediate environment and remaining present. It improves in response to a straightforward meditation practice that increases awareness of thoughts, sensations, and feelings.

Moreover, mindfulness is not complicated. The practice can be as simple as an awareness of a simple daily task, and it doesn’t have to take long. Feeling unsure how to start, try these simple one-minute mindfulness exercises.

Mindful breathing

This is a chance for you to step out of the daily grind and allow time to be present with yourself; that is, being present with yourself and whatever arises in your mind and body. Take a minute to observe your breathing. Breathe in and out as you usually would: notice the time between each inhalation and exhalation; notice your lungs expanding. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath.

Mindful walking

You can practice mindful walking any time as you go about your day. It’s good to try it slowly at first, but once you’re used to it, you can practise it at any pace – even when rushing. Walk slowly: become aware of the sensations in the soles of your feet as they make contact with the floor and any sensations in the muscles of the legs. You don’t have to look down at your feet. When your mind wanders, use the contact of the feet on the floor as an anchor to bring you back into the present moment. Just take a minute to focus on the sensations generated by walking.

Mindful eating

Eating mindfully can take us out of autopilot, helping us appreciate and enjoy the experience more. The next time you eat, stop to observe your food. Give it your full attention. Notice the texture: really see it, feel it, smell it, take a bite into it – noticing the taste and texture in the mouth – continue to chew, bringing your full attention to the taste of it.

Mindful listening

Taking this time out to tune in to your environment and listen to what it tells you will help you bring mindfulness into the rest of your life – bringing your awareness as you move through the day. Take a minute to listen to the sounds in your environment. You don’t need to try and determine the origin or type of sounds you hear; just listen and absorb the experience of their quality and how it resonates with you. If you recognise a sound, label it and move on, allowing your ears to catch new sounds.

As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Breathe in. Breathe out.

I am often asked where I find the time to do everything I do: from being a wife and mom, running a business, doing talks and workshops, writing books, and going on fun adventures with my family. You may not buy into my answer at all, and when I tell people that one of my top life tips is meditation, I can almost feel them switching off. Most people believe that it won’t work for them.

Sometimes I do wish it was possible to stop time or hit the pause button on the speed of life. But we all know there’s no stopping time. Still, there may be a way to buy time by focusing on the present and reducing the repeating background noise in your mind.

To me, meditation is one of the most valuable tools in our fast-paced, modern-day life. I like to use the Chopra meditation App, but I’ve often heard people say the Headspace App works really well. It’s about quietening the thoughts that my brain can’t switch off. Remember that your thoughts become your reality, and you cannot allow the spiralling negative messages of worry, fear, anxiousness and despair to take control of your life.

The benefits of quietening the voices in your head are endless and there are many ways to still your thoughts: going for long walks, consciously finding joy in everyday moments, and simple deep breathing. These are all forms of meditation. As long as you’re prepared for a process rather than a quick fix. It takes practice. Don’t expect to be perfect at it. If you accomplish just being conscious of the thoughts in your mind and not allowing them to control you, you have made a good start.

Like you, I also did not think that meditation was for me when I first started and it did not work perfectly for me in the beginning. I struggled to see how I was ever going to quiet the voices in my head, from to-do lists, worries and stories that my mind made up. I decided to give it a good go, and each time I meditated, my brain got slightly quieter. I still don’t always get it right, and the to-do lists still pop into my head – even when I’m trying to block them out. But now I feel the difference when I’m not meditating.

I like to meditate early in the morning before my day gets busy, and I put aside 15 – 20 minutes to sit quietly. Most days, I use the Chopra guided meditation and other days, the transcendental meditation technique of repeating a mantra until my mind stills. My husband, Gys, has watched my morning ritual for years and now also meditates daily. He says it’s helped him look at his business differently with a more strategic outlook. Josh, my son, has also started and finds he can control his anxiety around exams much more.

I encourage you to give meditation a go! Just remember that you don’t need to be perfect at it. It may feel impossible at first but it gets easier over time.

Clear your clutter – inside and out

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When Chartered clients Don and Joan King’s second son emigrated with his wife and four children to Australia earlier this year, Joan knew it was time for a change. Having lived in in the same 5- bedroom home for the past 33 years, Joan was keen to sell and move somewhere smaller, while Don wasn’t quite ready to move, particularly since he had yet to complete restoring his 1969 Mustang, a project which he had undertaken with his son. At a crossroads, and after a meeting with their RetiremeantTM Specialist and Kim Potgieter, they reached a compromise. They would spend the year getting the house ready to put on the market. For Don, this meant finishing his Mustang project, and for Joan, it meant beginning the process of decluttering 33 years’ worth of stuff.

During a client vision boarding day earlier this year, Joan was very intentional about what she wanted her next chapter to look like, and it was clutter-free. Joan had done some serious decluttering a few years back when she retired and closed her interior decorating business, so she knew the process to follow.

Joan decided to declutter by themes to make the task more manageable. She recently gifted a lifetime of old clothes to workers she knew in her area. Using rails, she hung up all the clothes and invited people to help themselves. She also used to make costume jewellery, so apart from a few special pieces that she kept, she gifted those too.

The next project that she is tackling books. Slowly she is sorting out books into relevant piles. She is passionate about animals, so she has decided that most of her books will be donated to the SPCA or Saints Animal Shelter for them to sell. As for the more specialised books, like those pertaining to her interior decorating business, she is researching where they may best be utilised.

There are things that they plan on selling; for example, they were a keen family of scuba divers, so they have all the equipment. Joan has begun preparing the process of decluttering these objects and has taken photographs and gathered information so that she can sell them on Facebook Marketplace or other online platforms when the time comes.

As Joan proves, decluttering is best done the same way they say it is to eat an elephant, one bite at a time. As for her vision board, not only has the decluttering begun in earnest, but she and Don have also booked two trips to see family this year. It just goes to show.

Joan’s vision board, shared with permission from Joan.

Clearing the clutter

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Clearing the clutter

“Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor; it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.” Peter Walsh

Clearing the clutter, all the “stuff” in our lives that prevents us from living our best life, is becoming a global trend. In an age of overconsumption, people are starting to realise that “having it all” and feeling happy and fulfilled don’t always go hand-in-hand and that getting rid of unnecessary items can bring people a sense of personal relief and pride. As we prepare for transitions, which often entail downscaling, clearing the clutter becomes necessary.

Decluttering is freeing in so many ways. Letting go of the excess “stuff” that fills your home often feels like a weight being lifted from your life. Sometimes you don’t even realise how heavy and burdened your belongings makes you feel until you start letting them go!

One good reason to declutter sooner rather than later is that it allows you to make your own decisions about your belongings and what you want to do with them. This way, you won’t leave your family with the burden of clearing out your home, guessing what you might want to do with items or what items were special to you.

If you’d like to start decluttering your home, but it feels daunting, begin decluttering in waves. Don’t feel you have to tackle every room in great detail. Take a look at each room, slowly and objectively. Immediately remove the things you can see that you don’t want to keep. Put them in a box to donate or recycle. Re-visit that room when you’re feeling fresh and take another look. Remove anything that you notice the second time around. Decluttering in waves means that with each successive sweep, you’ll notice a little bit more each time you do it—nothing scary and nothing too daunting.

It’s also important to start somewhere easy. Don’t head straight into the storeroom or garage. Test and hone your decluttering skills before you approach a big project. Start with the bathroom and sift through the cupboards. Remove items you don’t or won’t use. Clear the surfaces, organise what’s left and practice keeping just what you need and use, no excess.

Decluttering your home is an obvious place to start, but there are many other aspects of life that you can declutter too. You can declutter your time and your digital life, to name a few.

When decluttering, remember to ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I need this?
  • Do I use this?
  • Does this add value to my life
  • Do I appreciate having this in my life?

If the answer is no, then it’s time to let it go. Often this is where the process stops as people are not sure what to do with goods that no longer serve them. We recently wrote an article detailing options for charity shops, online selling platforms and community organisations where you could donate or sell your goods. There are also numerous books available on the subject. We highly recommend one that Kate Emmerson wrote called Clear your Clutter, a practical, no-nonsense book that teaches you the why and the how of ridding yourself of emotional, physical and body clutter. If you still don’t know where to start, there are people out there to help. A quick Google search will link you to reputable people in your area.

Don’t let all the excess and unwanted things in your life take away from what’s really important to you.

Why giving brings more joy than keeping

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. 2 Comments on Why giving brings more joy than keeping

Accumulating plenty of unnecessary things after five decades of life is relatively easy. I should know. But there comes a time when you have to decide whether what you are holding onto brings you more joy than it would if you shared it with others.

Decluttering can be intimidating because we assign meaning and memories to what we have. A teddy bear reminds us of our childhood, a shoebox filled with old birthday and Christmas cards hold all the memories of our lives, and our children’s old school reports tell the story of their journey into adulthood.

When my dad passed away eighteen years ago, I desperately wanted to hold on to a part of him. I chose to keep and treasure his Stinkwood dining room set that I knew he loved. The table ended up in a boardroom in my husband’s business. I really never had any use for it – it never matched the decor in any of my homes. A few weeks ago, Gys told me he did not have a place for it anymore and asked what I wanted to do with it.

The dining room table is not the only white elephant in my home. I have a selection of bone china tea sets inherited from my mom-in-law, silver cutlery and crockery and specially engraved glasses that I never use. I purposefully don’t use any of these items because I worry that they’ll break, they can’t go into the dishwasher, and I simply don’t have time to polish the silver.

I had lunch with clients the other day, and they shared with me how therapeutic they experienced decluttering their home. Yet my first reaction, when confronted with my dad’s dining room set, was the opposite of therapeutic – it was an emotional one. Just the thought of having to get rid of it made me feel like I was losing my dad all over again. It also made me question the many things in my home that take up space. Would my children want it? Will they use it? Of course not! Some things just aren’t relevant in today’s world anymore. It’s out of fashion and dated – just like my dad’s dining room set.

We have to start reassessing why we keep things that we don’t use and that our children may never want – and find different ways to pass our legacies along. I have decided to pass my dad’s dining room set on to a family who could use and cherish it. This would give me joy. A far more precious gift to my children is sharing happy moments and accumulating treasured memories with them. One way in which I am keeping my legacy going is by teaching them all our family recipes that have been passed to me down generations.

Sometimes giving brings more joy than keeping. Think of items in your home that you are holding on to which may be worth more to someone else. Someone who may actually need, use and cherish it. Donating unused items to charities will make you feel happy, and chances are that the things you have loved all your life but don’t need anymore will be loved and used by someone else.

There are so many benefits to decluttering your living space. Apart from creating more space to live in, going through all the things you have collected revives old memories. And sharing these recollections with your children and grandchildren will be memories they will cherish forever.

Reflections on turning 60 – the good, the bad, and the ugly

Written by Clients in Action on . Posted in Health. 4 Comments on Reflections on turning 60 – the good, the bad, and the ugly

So, you’re a man and you just turned 60? The world’s going to change for you. You’ve seen it coming already with your colleagues in their early and mid-60s. Suddenly, they’re gone. The company, the organization, wherever they’ve been slaving away (and perhaps even loving their work) doesn’t want them anymore. Policy dictates after 63 or maybe 65 yadayada… the email crosses their screen and if they’re lucky someone remembers to throw a party for them before they’re gone. Ah, except I forgot for a moment, there’s Covid to deal with – so no party either.

It’s coming to you soon. And unless you are one of the lucky few who has a good pension or independent wealth, you’re going to have to make a plan.

So, the first part of that plan is to do what your wife likely does much more often than you ever did – go and see the doctor for a check-up. Prostate, ECG, those scaly little bumps on the side of your cheek, just where the golf cap doesn’t shade the skin. Have them seen to. The good news is that you’ve probably got a lot of years still ahead of you. Medicine is getting better and better literally with each passing month. Things that crippled or killed our grandparents can be solved increasingly easily. Look at your ageing parents. They are doing much better than their parents. We can expect to be much healthier than any generation before us. Probably many of you already know this. You’ve already had your first knee op or are feeling that dull ache in your lower back that means a hip replacement is coming up. I was a war correspondent for many years until finally the weight of the flak jackets wore my back out. I got to the point where I was crippled with pain – and this is no metaphor – I couldn’t walk, I was shaking with agony. I lay on the floor at the doctor’s office, and he operated on me the next day. As I write this, I get a lump in my throat with the gratitude I feel for what modern medicine made possible. I hardly think of my back now. But I tell you what…. my hip is starting to niggle just the tiniest bit when I go for my daily walk. Let’s see, maybe yoga and stretching exercises will keep things together.

So, believe me, you’re likely going to be physically okay for a long time now; but its what’s in your head that holds the most unexpected surprises. You’ve seen your colleagues kicked to the curb. You’ve had the conversations when they hit 62 and they say “what am I going to do? I don’t have a clue.”

“Ah well,” you replied. “Something will come up.” But behind the next sip of Johnny Walker Black he took, you won’t forget the look of fear, anger, and looming humiliation. Usually something does seem to sort of work out. But it’s not a given.

Most of us are going to still be working for another 15 to 20 years yet. And trust me on this, just about no one’s going to give you another job. Even for us freelancers, after a certain age, the phone stops ringing. It’s emotionally the same as getting the two-line email. You’ve been working this career for 35, 40 years and you’re really good at it. And, if you are like me, you’ve loved every minute of it. But suddenly, or slowly, if you’re lucky, the carpet is whipped out from under your feet, and, as Tom Petty put it (remember how we partied to him?) you’re freefalling.

It’s going to hurt like hell. And all sorts of old damage from your childhood or teen years or your divorce will come back to haunt in ways you thought you’d long ago put behind you. And you won’t know who the hell you are anymore.

Be prepared for this. You can’t tough it out. It’s real. It’s life-shattering, and it happens to all of us. It’s what Dante wrote about in the Inferno, getting lost in a dark wood with the road “wholly lost and gone.”

But that’s not the end of the story. Dante also wrote two more books about this journey of life: Purgatory and Paradise. I don’t think the voyage ahead is that clear or that simple, but know this: there is a way out of that dark forest that you will find yourself lost in. There are a myriad of ways. And if you haven’t already started, dive into the internet and the digital world. Wrestle with it daily, learn its ways. There are millions to be made there, and you don’t have to be Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos just to pull in a few thousand bucks here and there. Or use it to grow a business you are running from your garage with the help of a couple of formerly jobless youth.

If you’re really lucky you get to be a consultant for a while, or perhaps mentor younger people. I’ve started doing both and I love it.
Basically, you’ll probably have to become an entrepreneur of some sort. It’s a different thing altogether from getting a consulting contract. Believe me there are a whole host of 50-year-olds waiting to grab that away from you.

Being an entrepreneur sounds a lot sexier than it is most days, but there are also so many opportunities out there that you will begin to find once you’ve stopped grieving for who you were for the last 40 years and begin to accept who and where you are now.

The “golden years” of retirement are a tired old myth created by advertisers for insurance companies when we were in our teens and twenties and watched our grandparents retire on secure pensions. That way of life is gone, if it ever really existed in the first place. It’s not an option for most of us now – men or women – we will have to find a way to keep making it on our own.

Forget about the myth – remember instead just how lucky we really are to be turning 60. We ain’t old yet, no matter how our ageist society largely regards us. So many more years lie ahead, and within each one of those are so many golden days to enjoy with those we love and to celebrate our new, unexpected, and better yet, still unimagined, successes.

Lean on me – lean on you

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. 3 Comments on Lean on me – lean on you

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I call a friend. You all know how much I enjoy spending time with people, and for me, nothing beats a good chat with a good friend. If it’s face-to-face, even better. Add a cappuccino (or dare I say, a glass of wine) – the best!

My friend and I both desperately needed to talk, to lean on each other. Bill Withers expressed it so beautifully in his song Lean on me:

Lean on me,
when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend,
I’ll help you carry on…
for it won’t be long,
till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.

My friend is going through a difficult patch. Her elderly parents have moved in, and her mom is immobile. This has completely changed life in their home. After listening, I asked her: How are you taking care of yourself? She was shocked! It was a question that she has never considered. “But I’m too busy taking care of everyone else,” she said.

I have also been feeling a bit fatigued lately. A while back, I told you that my husband, Gys was diagnosed with cancer. He has been incredibly brave, and his treatment schedule has been harrowing. The good news is that he’s been given the all-clear twice now and his next check-up is three months from now. Life always happens in ebbs and flows, and low points and high points are often grouped together. It has been a difficult time for us as a family as my daughter, Gabi, has now been experiencing paralysis in her left hand. It’s been six weeks so far with no improvement. In addition, my schedule has been ramped up with talks and interviews around my new book, and this time of year is busy with workshops, seminars and meetings. I like to help and very seldom turn down a speaking engagement or meeting request. Trying to make a difference, even for one person, makes it all worthwhile.

My friend threw my question right back at me and asked me how I was taking care of myself. It’s a good question. I always say that if you don’t look after yourself, you will be of no use to anyone else.

We are compassionate human beings, and compassion is probably one of the most powerful forces in the world. It embraces the noble traits of grace, empathy and love; it drives hope; helps us see the light in the darkness and makes us feel loved. We’ve seen compassion in action all over the world. Everyone I know has spent time helping others, being kinder, gentler and offering support. It’s just in our nature. We want to help. We want to be there for the people we love.

But we do have to watch out for compassion fatigue, defined by psychologists as exhaustion on a physiological, biological and emotional level brought on by prolonged periods of stress. You may be feeling more tired than usual, or more forgetful, even burnt-out. Decisions become harder to make, your coping skills diminish, and life just feels too much.

So, here’s my question to you: How are you looking after yourself? Are you self-compassionate? Do you take time out to self-care and self-love? I know it sounds easier than it really is. I get that. It is hard to self-care when you are so busy caring for everyone else in your life. But you simply have to make yourself a priority too. If you falter and fall, you will not be there to look after the ones you love.

Apart from making time for chats with my friends, I self-care by taking long, warm baths. I exercise every day, take my daily vitamins and make sure that I’m always able to serve my family fresh vegetables and herbs from my garden. If things get really tough, I practice gratitude to remind myself just how special my world is.

Find someone to lean on if you need a helping hand… they will need to lean on you too at some point. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

My experience of the vaccine

Written by Clients in Action on . Posted in Health. 1 Comment on My experience of the vaccine

Chartered client Ronelle Baker recently had her first Covid vaccine and had this to share.

If you are sixty and over and have registered on the Government vaccine site (https://vaccine.enroll.health.gov.za/#/) but have not received an “invite” to go for your vaccination, do not fret, just go to one of the many venues with your ID document and medical aid card (if you have one). You will be given the Pfizer vaccination. You will then, in about four weeks, be required to go back to the same venue for the second injection.

  1. Esangweni CHC is the clinic in Tembisa, on Kenya Street – highly recommended; the staff are professional, friendly, willing and extremely helpful.
    It looks chaotic but is very well organised. It is at the clinic, not at the hospital.
  2. Dischem Warehouse, Midrand. Reports indicate that the queues here are long but again very well organised, and they even have a coffee station.
  3. Discovery Sandton – this venue is only accessible if you have had an invitation to attend at a specified time and if you are a Discovery member.

By the time this is published, residents in retirement villages will also be receiving their vaccinations on site.

Please note that these tips are given from my personal perspective and are not official tips, i.e. not government or medical aid sponsored.

Keeping tabs on our physical wellbeing

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. 1 Comment on Keeping tabs on our physical wellbeing

I belong to a Facebook group called The Village. It’s a group aimed at parents of older children. It’s a supportive and safe space where parents can ask questions and give feedback, most importantly though it’s a place to go so you don’t feel like you are navigating parenthood alone. The Village is always a good place to gauge where people generally are on an emotional level. Recently, a question was posed to the Village asking members to describe their emotions in just one word. The answers were concerning. Deflated, broken, exhausted, overwhelmed, distraught, scared and anxious were just a few of the words used. It just goes to show that perhaps we are not ok.

If you asked me the same question, I think I would use a similar word. For this reason, I have to make a conscious effort daily to keep a firm check on my emotions, and one way to do this is by making my physical health a priority.

For many of us, we feel like we are in the movie Groundhog Day. Every single day is the same, wake up, eat, work, walk, sleep, repeat. Recently, a friend suggested we try and break the monotony by adding a new activity to our routine, so we decided to try a Nia class together. Nia is a sensory-based movement practise that draws from martial arts, dance arts and healing arts. It empowers people of all shapes and sizes by connecting the body, mind, emotions and spirit. Classes are taken barefoot to soul-stirring music. What a treat Nia has turned out to be. Once a week, we all connect through movement with a diverse group of people in terms of age and fitness level. One can’t help but walk away feeling energised and restored. Another thing I have realised through our Nia classes is how much we feed off the energy of others and how refreshing being around people is.

Walking is another practice that I try and put into my routine. I meet a friend early in the morning, a few times a week, and walk around Zoo Lake. We chose Zoo Lake because walking around and around becomes meditative in a way, and more importantly, we don’t have to navigate traffic. It allows us to be fully present in the moment and focus on each other, we really connect, and connection with people this last year has been what I have missed the most. There is also something very calming watching the mist rise off the lake and watching the ducks go about their day.

Most people have put physical self-care on the back burner since Covid, myself included. Feeling guilty initially, I decided that my aching back warranted a massage. And I am so glad I indulged in this guilty pleasure. It was pure indulgence and absolute bliss and an essential reminder that we need to listen to our bodies.

What have you been doing to keep a check on your mental and physical wellbeing? We love hearing from you, and we would appreciate you sharing your daily practices with us.

Living in the Present

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. 5 Comments on Living in the Present

Thinking back, 2020 has certainly taught us to be resilient and adaptable. I am sure that many people opted to change their holiday arrangements in light of the Covid resurgence and closed beaches.

Our family holiday was to be in Knysna. We actually drove as far as Port Elizabeth, but after the President’s family meeting on the 14th of December, decided it was perhaps not the best idea to spend time in such a popular and populated destination. Johannesburg seemed a much safer bet and we spent a wonderful Christmas at home.

After Christmas and much consideration, we all agreed as a family, that the Kruger National Park would be the ideal getaway in a safe, open-air environment. We were so sure that we had made the right decision for a low-risk Covid exposure, surrounded by the African bush and immersed in nature.

Things don’t always go as planned and we have just emerged from 14 days of isolation. My son Josh tested positive for Covid while we were in the bush. You just never know!

Having a child with Covid – or any family member, friend, colleague or client – is hard. You are constantly anxious about their health and your own. Josh worried that he would pass it on to us, and we worried about him. So many thoughts whirl through your head: what if I have it; what if I pass it on unknowingly; am I doing the right thing?

In this time, I have learnt that it is so important to control your thoughts. My recurring thoughts was thinking about the past, “I wish we had …” or “I wish we could go back to the way things were.” Some of my thoughts dwelled in the future, and I kept asking myself “what if” while at the same time trying to guess what may or may not happen.

What really helped me cope and manage my emotions, was to stay in the present. Being present, in the given moment, means that you let go of the past, and stop worrying about the future. All you have, at this moment, is this time. Focus on what is happening right now. Make every moment your priority and don’t let it slip by you unnoticed.

By focusing on the present, I was able to cancel out most of the noise in my head. It gave me peace knowing that I was celebrating each present moment instead of worrying about the past or the future. I know this is not always possible, and it’s certainly not easy. Our minds are wired for flight or fight – an automatic physiological reaction to stressful events. But we owe it to ourselves to try.

Support and be kind to yourself during this process. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can. If possible, find ways to quiet the thoughts in your head – I like to focus on my breathing and meditation is also a good tool. Some people immerse themselves in their senses. Whatever works for you, remind yourself, as often as you need, that each moment is a gift. A gift that is worth living.

Wishing you all many happy, healthy and peaceful moments this year!

The best-laid plans go awry

Written by Lyndsay Barr on . Posted in Health. 1 Comment on The best-laid plans go awry

Not one of us can say we were left unscathed by the events of 2020, and most of us breathed a collective sigh of relief as December rolled closer and holidays and time with family and a much -needed break loomed nearer. And then the Covid cases spiked, holidays were cancelled, and family gatherings were postponed.

My family were the same. We cancelled seeing my parents at Christmas as well as our holiday to Knysna. We wanted to avoid contracting Covid at all costs. As Robert Burns said, “the best -laid plans of mice and men often go awry,” and shortly after a very low-key new year I found myself struggling to breathe and experiencing fevers like I have never experienced in my life. A Covid test confirmed my suspicions. The two weeks I spent in bed are a blur. I seemed to go from one fever to the next. I got very ill, and it happened very quickly.

It was at night though when I really felt anxious as I struggled to breathe. Things seem so much scarier in the dark of night, and I was left feeling completely vulnerable. And the lack of touch, not being able to hug my husband and children, that was the hardest thing for me. I am so grateful to my family and friends who really supported me through, and I found these practical examples of support so helpful.

  1. Music
    I am a big fan of music; I listen to it all day while I work. A few of my friends each made me playlists to help me calm down when I thought I couldn’t breathe. The playlists ranged from classical music to meditative yoga music. One friend made me a playlist of all our old favourites that we used to party to when we were younger. It brought a huge smile to my face and I really appreciated this gesture.

  2. Dropping off meals
    My husband was left in charge of the household and he did a great job of shopping, cooking, and keeping the household going, but he was very worried and distracted, so it was a welcome relief when friends dropped off meals. My one friend was away so she arranged delivery of a chicken pie from Vicky Sleet catering, which according to my family is the world’s most delicious chicken pie. I mostly declined offers of meals from friends, but in hindsight, I am glad they ignored me and brought meals anyway.

  3. Voice notes, messages and funny memes
    Each morning and throughout the day I received voice notes, messages and funny memes from my friends. These were a welcome relief, and a break from the world of Covid. It was a nice distraction to know what was going on in the world outside.

So, if you do have friends or family members who have Covid try one of the above suggestions. You can be rest assured that the gestures will be hugely appreciated. And if you have been ill and were supported in a particular way by family and friends let us know, as we are always looking for suggestions as to how best support each other.

Making 2021 your best year ever

Making 2021 your best year ever

Written by RS Editor on . Posted in Health. No Comments on Making 2021 your best year ever

Forbes recently published an article on 10 tips to being happier and making 2021 your best year ever. We thought they were very useful tips and answering the question at the end of each tip allows you to pause and reflect and gain some perspective on the year that was.

  1. Focus on the upside of a downside situation. When there are so many incidences of devastation, fear and heartbreak, it’s natural to focus on the downside of the pandemic. But we can balance that out with how it’s brought people together, volunteering and helping one another and strengthening the whole idea of collective selflessness. What upsides can you name?

  2. Pinpoint the opportunity in the difficulty. Ask, “How can I make this situation work to my advantage? Can I find something positive in it? What can I manage or overcome in this instance?” During the pandemic, for example, we can use times of self-isolation for self-reflection and think about the direction we want to take in the new year. What opportunities do you see?

  3. Frame 2020 as a lesson to learn, not misery to endure. Ask what you can learn from the difficulties of 2020 and use them as stepping-stones, instead of roadblocks. Think of the adversities of 2020 as happening for you instead of to you. If you consider this perspective less taken, what has 2020 taught you that you can take into 2021?

  4. Practice gratitude. Look beyond the fear, loss and disappointment at the big picture. Take an inventory of your life and include all the things the pandemic prevented you from doing that you once took for granted. And consider all the people and things in your life that you’re grateful for, letting gratitude steer you beyond the gloom and doom. What are you grateful for?

  5. Be chancy. Take small risks in new situations instead of predicting negative outcomes before giving them a try. “If I ask for a shot at the promotion, my boss might laugh in my face” becomes “If I ask for a shot at the promotion, my boss might think I have guts and ambition.” How can you stick your neck out at work in the new year?

  6. Avoid blowing a situation out of proportion. Don’t let one negative experience rule your whole outlook: “I was supposed to get a promotion until the pandemic; now that everything’s on hold, I’ll never advance in my career” becomes “Things are on hold for a while, but nothing lasts forever and there will be other pathways to success.” What limiting situations can you minimise and overcome in 2021?

  7. Focus on the solution, not the problem. You’ll feel more empowered to cope with pandemic curve balls when you step back from the problem and brainstorm a wide range of possibilities. Your negativity bias will direct you to zoom in and focus on the problem. But when you broaden your perspective, your wide-angle lens will help you see potential in the big picture. What possibilities do you see for 2021?

  8. Practice positive self-talk. During tough times, be as kind to yourself as you would your best friend. Underscore your triumphs. Replace bludgeoning yourself and using put-downs and criticisms with the practice of self-compassion. Affirm positive feedback instead of letting it roll over your head. Give yourself “atta-boys” or “atta-girls.” Throw modesty out the window and remind yourself of all your personal resources. What are your strengths?

  9. Practice Solitude. Solitude is good for the soul. It takes you out of the rat race for a while, gives you a bird’s-eye view of your daily life and replaces chaos with serenity. Spend a minimum of five minutes a day alone. Meditate, pray, practice yoga or contemplate nature and connect with something larger than yourself for inspiration and peace of mind. What type of solitude can you practice?

  10. See a fresh start contained in loss. Every loss contains a gain, but you have to look for it. Every time you get up just one more time than you fall, you increase the likelihood of scaling hard times. Baseball great Babe Ruth said, “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” What endings in 2020 contain new beginnings in 2021?