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The latest blog items

Where purpose and passion meet

Written by Lyndsay Barr on April 27, 2022. Posted in Play. No Comments on Where purpose and passion meet

2014 proved to be a turning point in Gillian and Ralph Louw’s lives. After being involved in a cycling accident with a taxi some years before, Ralph could no longer continue working as a chopper pilot. Coupled with this, Gillian was retrenched from her role as a golf club’s food and beverage manager, where she had worked for eighteen years. In their early 50s at the time, Ralph and Gillian were faced with the very daunting question, what did they want to do for the rest of their lives?

These momentous changes forced them to stop and think about what they wanted the next chapter of their life together to look like. The first step they made was deciding to move to Hermanus in the Western Cape after finding the perfect property on Property 24. Living in Hermanus sparked the idea of starting a small upmarket tourism business, taking people on walks and trails. This was not the first time Gillian had had this idea. While doing the Whale Trail with friends in 2004, and standing on top of the Potberg Mountain, admiring the magnificent scenery around her, Gillian had an epiphany of sorts- she wanted more people to see what she saw at that moment. So, the seed was planted long before it became a reality.

Getting the business off the ground proved to be a struggle, so Gillian and Ralph took up a job running a lodge in Zambia in 2017. When it was time to renew their contract, they had to decide whether to come home and try and get the business up and running again, or continue working in Zambia. They chose to go home.

Kim Potgieter with Gillian and Ralph Louw

Fuelled by a desire to succeed, they put their heads together, learning new skills necessary to market their business correctly. They learnt all about Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) and Facebook Marketing. Having a passion for conservation, both Gillian and Ralph had completed various courses through FGASA (Field Guides Association of Southern Africa). However, to give people the ultimate experience, they furthered their studies in Marine Guiding and qualified as Cape Tourism and Wine Guides.

It paid off. They now offer tailor-made tours for groups. Their walks and trails include the Whale Trail, Overberg walks, hiking in the Cederberg and exploring the Kogelberg. Their Wine Walks are extremely popular too.

Ralph and Gillian love what they do; they get to combine their passion and purpose. They have used all the skills they have acquired over the years and turned it into a successful business. They don’t describe their work as a job, but rather as a calling. Richard Leider, the founder of Inventure – The Purpose Company, has a beautiful quote. He says, “Purpose is a verb. It is spiritual practice embodied in lived day-to-day experiences. If we live daily as a “default self’—the self that is hiding behind a mask of approval and cultural consensus-we will always feel empty. We will fill our time, but it will never feel like a fulfilling time.” Purpose is undoubtedly a verb for Ralph and Gillian, fulfilling their time and providing people with memorable experiences while doing so.

For more information on the walks and trails, visit their website at www.africansunroad.com

Slowing down to enjoy the stops along the way

Written by Kim Potgieter on April 27, 2022. Posted in Play. 1 Comment on Slowing down to enjoy the stops along the way

If heaven were to be found on earth, I have found a little piece of it. I would never have found it if I did not consciously decide to experience the journey instead of rushing to the destination. Our journey to the Hemel en Aarde valley was all about taking it slow with no sense of urgency to get anywhere in a rush.

Have you ever travelled on holiday in a tight time frame? It could be the constraints we place on time for leisure and vacations, but in some way, in our rush to get somewhere, we miss so much in-between. In many ways, the destination has become more important than the journey. We’re so busy planning and organising, often just waiting for the time to pass until we get there, that we forget to notice and really experience the trip.

I have driven past the Hemel en Aarde Valley many times in a rush to get somewhere else, most often to visit Creation Wines or lunch at the Heaven restaurant, and then rushing back to where I’m staying. We’ve often spoken of how beautiful the drive is and wondered about the wine farms signposted along the way – but we’ve never stopped to explore.

Last month, our group of ten long-time friends decided to take it slow and explore the magic this area has on offer. We opted for a walking tour accompanied by our lovely tour guides Gillian and Ralph (pictured below) from Africansunroad. Read all about the customised tours they offer in this newsletter. We had the opportunity to tailor-make our tour by combining visits to wine farms with a walk through the gorgeous fynbos landscape.

Not only is this area home to fifteen boutique wineries – which already puts it at the top of my visit list – but the scenery is breathtakingly beautiful as the valley nestles in a sweeping fynbos landscape surrounded by towering mountains.

I thoroughly enjoyed exploring nature in the heart of the Cape floral kingdom on foot. We saw beautiful indigenous fynbos, gorgeous proteas and spectacular birdlife – including a blue crane – South Africa’s national bird! One of the highlights was meeting a wonderful lady at the Hamilton Russel vineyard who shared all the stories of this valley with us. She spoke with so much passion and had a wealth of knowledge to share after spending fourteen years on the farm. Apart from the wine farms, there is so much to see and do! We visited magnificent orchards, including pear, fig and a berry farm that exports their produce.

We shared great stories, belly laughter and delicious food on this trip – juxtaposed with the absolute tranquillity and stillness of the surroundings. We stayed on different farms in charming cottages and spent our evenings chatting and playing bridge. Of course, I am still a novice bridge player, but it’s an activity we started as friends during lockdown and still enjoy.

Here we are at the end of our walking tour – happy, energised, relaxed, and so grateful to have taken our time to watch the world go by slowly instead of rushing through.

This trip has made me realise how much I have missed by getting wrapped up in the destination. By meandering on foot with no sense of urgency, we took in the beautiful scenery, charming places and interesting people. We lingered for as long as it took to imprint our journey to memory. Our destination unfolded with each step we took and made even more special by sharing it with good friends.

Clear your clutter – inside and out

Written by Clients in Action on March 28, 2022. Posted in Health. 1 Comment on Clear your clutter – inside and out

When Chartered clients Don and Joan King’s second son emigrated with his wife and four children to Australia earlier this year, Joan knew it was time for a change. Having lived in in the same 5- bedroom home for the past 33 years, Joan was keen to sell and move somewhere smaller, while Don wasn’t quite ready to move, particularly since he had yet to complete restoring his 1969 Mustang, a project which he had undertaken with his son. At a crossroads, and after a meeting with their Retiremeant^TM Specialist and Kim Potgieter, they reached a compromise. They would spend the year getting the house ready to put on the market. For Don, this meant finishing his Mustang project, and for Joan, it meant beginning the process of decluttering 33 years’ worth of stuff.

During a client vision boarding day earlier this year, Joan was very intentional about what she wanted her next chapter to look like, and it was clutter-free. Joan had done some serious decluttering a few years back when she retired and closed her interior decorating business, so she knew the process to follow.

Joan decided to declutter by themes to make the task more manageable. She recently gifted a lifetime of old clothes to workers she knew in her area. Using rails, she hung up all the clothes and invited people to help themselves. She also used to make costume jewellery, so apart from a few special pieces that she kept, she gifted those too.

The next project that she is tackling books. Slowly she is sorting out books into relevant piles. She is passionate about animals, so she has decided that most of her books will be donated to the SPCA or Saints Animal Shelter for them to sell. As for the more specialised books, like those pertaining to her interior decorating business, she is researching where they may best be utilised.

There are things that they plan on selling; for example, they were a keen family of scuba divers, so they have all the equipment. Joan has begun preparing the process of decluttering these objects and has taken photographs and gathered information so that she can sell them on Facebook Marketplace or other online platforms when the time comes.

As Joan proves, decluttering is best done the same way they say it is to eat an elephant, one bite at a time. As for her vision board, not only has the decluttering begun in earnest, but she and Don have also booked two trips to see family this year. It just goes to show.

Joan’s vision board, shared with permission from Joan.

Clearing the clutter

Written by Lyndsay Barr on March 28, 2022. Posted in Health. No Comments on Clearing the clutter

“Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor; it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.” Peter Walsh

Clearing the clutter, all the “stuff” in our lives that prevents us from living our best life, is becoming a global trend. In an age of overconsumption, people are starting to realise that “having it all” and feeling happy and fulfilled don’t always go hand-in-hand and that getting rid of unnecessary items can bring people a sense of personal relief and pride. As we prepare for transitions, which often entail downscaling, clearing the clutter becomes necessary.

Decluttering is freeing in so many ways. Letting go of the excess “stuff” that fills your home often feels like a weight being lifted from your life. Sometimes you don’t even realise how heavy and burdened your belongings makes you feel until you start letting them go!

One good reason to declutter sooner rather than later is that it allows you to make your own decisions about your belongings and what you want to do with them. This way, you won’t leave your family with the burden of clearing out your home, guessing what you might want to do with items or what items were special to you.

If you’d like to start decluttering your home, but it feels daunting, begin decluttering in waves. Don’t feel you have to tackle every room in great detail. Take a look at each room, slowly and objectively. Immediately remove the things you can see that you don’t want to keep. Put them in a box to donate or recycle. Re-visit that room when you’re feeling fresh and take another look. Remove anything that you notice the second time around. Decluttering in waves means that with each successive sweep, you’ll notice a little bit more each time you do it—nothing scary and nothing too daunting.

It’s also important to start somewhere easy. Don’t head straight into the storeroom or garage. Test and hone your decluttering skills before you approach a big project. Start with the bathroom and sift through the cupboards. Remove items you don’t or won’t use. Clear the surfaces, organise what’s left and practice keeping just what you need and use, no excess.

Decluttering your home is an obvious place to start, but there are many other aspects of life that you can declutter too. You can declutter your time and your digital life, to name a few.

When decluttering, remember to ask yourself these questions:

Do I need this?
Do I use this?
Does this add value to my life
Do I appreciate having this in my life?

If the answer is no, then it’s time to let it go. Often this is where the process stops as people are not sure what to do with goods that no longer serve them. We recently wrote an article detailing options for charity shops, online selling platforms and community organisations where you could donate or sell your goods. There are also numerous books available on the subject. We highly recommend one that Kate Emmerson wrote called Clear your Clutter, a practical, no-nonsense book that teaches you the why and the how of ridding yourself of emotional, physical and body clutter. If you still don’t know where to start, there are people out there to help. A quick Google search will link you to reputable people in your area.

Don’t let all the excess and unwanted things in your life take away from what’s really important to you.

Why giving brings more joy than keeping

Written by Kim Potgieter on March 28, 2022. Posted in Health. 2 Comments on Why giving brings more joy than keeping

Accumulating plenty of unnecessary things after five decades of life is relatively easy. I should know. But there comes a time when you have to decide whether what you are holding onto brings you more joy than it would if you shared it with others.

Decluttering can be intimidating because we assign meaning and memories to what we have. A teddy bear reminds us of our childhood, a shoebox filled with old birthday and Christmas cards hold all the memories of our lives, and our children’s old school reports tell the story of their journey into adulthood.

When my dad passed away eighteen years ago, I desperately wanted to hold on to a part of him. I chose to keep and treasure his Stinkwood dining room set that I knew he loved. The table ended up in a boardroom in my husband’s business. I really never had any use for it – it never matched the decor in any of my homes. A few weeks ago, Gys told me he did not have a place for it anymore and asked what I wanted to do with it.

The dining room table is not the only white elephant in my home. I have a selection of bone china tea sets inherited from my mom-in-law, silver cutlery and crockery and specially engraved glasses that I never use. I purposefully don’t use any of these items because I worry that they’ll break, they can’t go into the dishwasher, and I simply don’t have time to polish the silver.

I had lunch with clients the other day, and they shared with me how therapeutic they experienced decluttering their home. Yet my first reaction, when confronted with my dad’s dining room set, was the opposite of therapeutic – it was an emotional one. Just the thought of having to get rid of it made me feel like I was losing my dad all over again. It also made me question the many things in my home that take up space. Would my children want it? Will they use it? Of course not! Some things just aren’t relevant in today’s world anymore. It’s out of fashion and dated – just like my dad’s dining room set.

We have to start reassessing why we keep things that we don’t use and that our children may never want – and find different ways to pass our legacies along. I have decided to pass my dad’s dining room set on to a family who could use and cherish it. This would give me joy. A far more precious gift to my children is sharing happy moments and accumulating treasured memories with them. One way in which I am keeping my legacy going is by teaching them all our family recipes that have been passed to me down generations.

Sometimes giving brings more joy than keeping. Think of items in your home that you are holding on to which may be worth more to someone else. Someone who may actually need, use and cherish it. Donating unused items to charities will make you feel happy, and chances are that the things you have loved all your life but don’t need anymore will be loved and used by someone else.

There are so many benefits to decluttering your living space. Apart from creating more space to live in, going through all the things you have collected revives old memories. And sharing these recollections with your children and grandchildren will be memories they will cherish forever.

Building a new career of relevance and meaning in retirement

Written by Clients in Action on February 28, 2022. Posted in Give Back. No Comments on Building a new career of relevance and meaning in retirement

After a career spanning 53 years in engineering, Chartered client Kenneth Charles found himself wondering what he would do for the rest of his life. As it happened, at the same time, his son Elliot had decided to expand his knowledge in IT and start his own company building websites. While watching his son navigate his way through the ins and outs of building a startup, Kenneth decided to use his time helping his son grow his business and so began his journey into the world of IT.

Kenneth started by learning WordPress, a platform used for building websites. Once he had mastered the art of building websites, he wanted to understand the back end in more detail and decided to delve deeper into the world of IT. Courses in numerous Google certifications followed. Kenneth learnt how to use coding programmes such as HTML5 and CSS. More recently, he has been studying Confluence, Jira, and Trello, programmes that help in collaborative working amongst team members and clients.

As Elliot’s company, called 1.3Creative, grew, they decided to give back to those less fortunate by offering free assistance to charities who need a website or an upgrade to an existing website. To date, they have helped numerous charities, including many in Africa. As part of their offering, they mentor volunteers who need assistance obtaining practical experience by working with them in the building or upgrading websites. Kenneth derives a lot of satisfaction by helping upskill others so that they may enjoy a better life.

He firmly believes that you must never be afraid to learn something new, no matter your age. At the age of 77, he fully embraces his second career, which has become a full-time one.

His passion for giving back to those less fortunate is also evident. Kenneth ended off our interview by sharing this quote. “It’s nice when someone smiles, but even nicer when someone smiles because of you.”

Chartered give back initiatives – 2022

Written by Lyndsay Barr on February 28, 2022. Posted in Give Back. No Comments on Chartered give back initiatives – 2022

“When you’re in a position to have gotten so much, the gift at this point is giving back”– Paul Stanley

We believe that balance is the key to a fulfilled life. One of the key areas of balance is give back. Giving lifts our spirits and makes us happy. It is through giving that we make our own lives richer. At Chartered, we believe in encompassing the wheel of balance, so each staff member is required to volunteer two hours of their time to help those in need. Covid hindered our give back opportunities during the past two years, but thankfully we are on track again, with our focus for 2022 being meaningful impact.

Our first partner organisation is Fight with Insight. Fight with Insight was established in the city with the vision of creating a safe place for the children of Johannesburg, using boxing to teach them life skills that assist them in taking responsibility for claiming their rights. Their offerings extend beyond boxing, and they also focus on the following: fitness, friends, food, feelings, future, and fun. We have partnered with them in their life skills programme and are working with a group of young adults around financial literacy. Once a month, a team from Chartered will spend time covering a wide variety of topics relating to financial literacy. By working with the same group of youngsters throughout the year and tailoring our topics to meet their needs, we aim to equip them with the financial skills required later on in life.

Fight with Insight has a strong focus on physical activity. They believe it’s a vital pillar of mental health, so each week, inner-city youth and children with autism and members of the public are invited to attend a morning of physical activity. The morning kicks off with an inner-city run followed by two hours of boxing and conditioning. A lunch, prepared by the youth in the programme, is then served, and everyone enjoys a meal together. The philosophy behind this is “doing with and not for”. Because these children often struggle with relationship building, the aim is simply to be together, learning from each other and exposing the youngsters to individuals they might not otherwise get to meet. Many of our fitter staff members have signed up to participate in this programme.

As is often the case with charities, the focus to remain financially afloat means there are often no resources for personal development and soft skills. All our staff members are taken through Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead programme at Chartered. This was implemented after Kim Potgieter trained under Brene Brown to become a Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator. The essence behind Dare to Lead is equipping leaders with the necessary skills to have the courage to lean into vulnerability and connect on an authentic level. We will be inviting representatives from various NGOs and taking them through the Dare to Lead programme. We aim to help equip them to bravely lead their organisations and help them have courageous conversations.

For the staff who prefer to give back by getting their hands dirty, we are partnering with Hearts of Hope and helping them paint their new home, which will house 18 orphaned and vulnerable children.

New Give back opportunities will become available throughout the year, and various in-house drives such as a collection of books, old work clothes and sanitary pads will take place. If you would like to get involved with any of the drives mentioned, or if you want to share ways that you give back, please email Lyndsay, we love hearing from you.

Paying it forward

Written by Kim Potgieter on February 28, 2022. Posted in Give Back. No Comments on Paying it forward

Growing older is not about getting old. It’s more about growing. And growing never gets old. You grow and learn for all of your life – it’s not something you get to pause. It happens all by itself as you live, work, play and love. There’s a lesson to be learnt every day and many lessons each year.

Now imagine yourself as a curator – the custodian of a wealth of knowledge and wisdom accumulated over many years. What are you doing with your collection of expertise?

A while back, I read a blog by Chip Conley where he says that “our wisdom is not our possession.” It’s meant to be shared. Wisdom is what nourishes our society and makes it stronger. What better way to add value and give back to others than to cultivate all the sage lessons you’ve accumulated in your life and then pay it forward.

You can pay your wisdom forward in many ways. By sharing your knowledge: teaching your skills, mentoring someone younger, developing someone’s talent or simply using your experience and standing to facilitate opportunities for other people.

Last year, I was invited to speak at the FPI Convention. Instead of taking the stage and presenting the talk, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to cultivate wisdom by sharing the learning experience across generations.

I invited four young women who represented the WiFN (Women in Finance Network) to share their stories and talk about their personal journeys in the financial planning industry. I loved the opportunity to facilitate the session, and I felt so privileged to be nurturing the experience-base and learning of these ladies. I’m also pretty sure that the conference delegates walked out of that session having learnt far more than they thought they would. We learn from each other, and as much as the younger generation learns from us, they also teach us something.

I did a lot of talks last year! Especially after the launch of my book, but this was by far the most rewarding and joyous experience!

Learning and sharing what I know has always been one of the first items I add to my vision board each year. I’m constantly in awe about how much I learn from every Chartered client I meet. It’s the wisdom that’s shared with me that gives me the content for writing my books and the lessons I teach.

Sharing your wisdom rewards both you and your intern, and each nugget of wisdom you share makes the world a better place. But these types of experiences don’t just happen. Sometimes you have to look for opportunities to uplift others and help them get where they want to go.

Pairing your wisdom with someone else’s expertise may just lead to unimaginable growth for both of you. And that’s the real value of paying it forward.

Experiences of a Covid-19 patient

Written by Clients in Action on January 19, 2022. Posted in Purpose. No Comments on Experiences of a Covid-19 patient

Chartered Wealth client Paul Runge was hospitalised with Covid in December. We are happy to report that he is on the mend and has a busy 2022 planned; as he says, he has a book to write and squash to play.

Here he shares some helpful tips should you or a loved one have to be hospitalised.

It’s very important that a Covid patient being admitted to hospital packs their bag properly. No visitors are allowed, the patient is alone, and it is vital to maintain communications to maintain high morale. Ensure that all the required electric plugs and leads are packed for keeping the cell phone charged. In my case, music is important, and the iPod leads were essential. The reality is that the patient has to do much fending for themself. A man should consider a shaver to facilitate the insertion of drips in hairy arms! Other items could be a small towel (towels not always easily available), pyjamas, slippers and perhaps dental floss in addition to the usual toiletries. Pack a pen or two. The ward is noisy with much light, and earplugs and the typical airline eye cover could be useful. If you pack sleeping pills, clear the usage thereof with your doctor. If you have received prescribed medicines, keep them all in a plastic packet and show them to the doctor so they can verify and adjust your medication. Having a bath or shower improves spirits considerably and ensure you have the shampoo, soap required. The last newspaper will help pass the time, (not available in the wards). Your laptop may provide a little interim entertainment.

During my stay, my doctor warned me that blood tests showed that I was undernourished and dehydrated. I had not eaten for nearly four days, and the hospital seemed to be restricting the number of bottles of water they were distributing to patients. A dietician visited me and gave me some fortified drinks. However, this was insufficient, and my partner played an invaluable role in arranging for a bag of protein bars and Energade drinks to be specially delivered to me. This was also my doctor’s suggestion. A supportive partner is gold!

You will find that effective cell phone communications will ease your passage through your treatment. The WhatsApp streams of well wishes – even from unexpected associates lifts morale. Then there is valuable advice from those who have had the Covid experience. A sense of humour eases matters too. Respond kindly and deal without fuss with those that come with misinformation and conspiracy theories.

A negative aspect of the communications scenario is when friends are strangely non-communicative. Hypersensitivity sets in, and I felt very guilty that on the day before I fell ill and just had my light cough, I accepted an invitation to visit a friend at his home. I immediately informed him when I heard that I was Covid-positive, and he was compelled to place himself and his family in isolation for seven days. Terrible timing because it was year-end for his company as well as that of his wife. I apologised twice via WhatsApp messages and received no acknowledgement or even response. This weighed on my mind through much of my hospital stay. It was also strange that while my work colleagues were sympathetic and supportive, one colleague has yet to send me any message.

Exercise care when interacting with the hospital staff. They are stressed and carrying out a difficult job. Make sure you remain polite and patient. There is little banter and laughter. Don’t push too hard and try to sort yourself out with small matters wherever possible. The doctor’s visits are unscheduled, brief and sometimes rushed. It’s a good idea to prepare beforehand for their visit by writing a list of all the questions you wish to ask.

Contrary to the old adage that the patient should just lie and rest in hospital, the practise today is for them to be as active as possible – especially if there are respiratory problems. In the case of Covid, the breathing exercises given to you by your physio are very important in restoring lung capacity. Walks around the ward are recommended and are enjoyable. They also help pass the time. The physio was very kind and helpful (albeit that I fear the bill that may be coming my way!) I enjoyed practising my squash shots as I walked around the ward!

The final hospital check-out can be a lengthy and frustrating process. Ensure that you leave with the necessary prescriptions. There is a special exit for departing Covid patients, and the staff will wheel you there. Ensure that your partner picks you up at a specific time and at the correct place. Otherwise, you could inconvenience the very busy nursing staff.

What’s your personal word for 2022?

Written by Lyndsay Barr on January 19, 2022. Posted in Purpose. No Comments on What’s your personal word for 2022?

Each year a Word of the Year is chosen. The Word of the Year is a word or expression that has attracted a great deal of interest over the last 12 months. Every year, candidates for Word of the Year are debated. One is eventually chosen to reflect that particular year’s ethos, mood, or preoccupations and to have lasting potential as a word of cultural significance. The pandemic influenced Oxford’s 2021 choice, too, this time settling on a single word: “vax.”

So do you have a personal word of the year that you have chosen for 2022, one that reflects your ethos and mood for the year? Picking a word of the year can clarify who you want to become and what you want to accomplish in life.

Having a Word of the Year is an enjoyable way to set your intentions and theme for the New Year, or any other life event for that matter. Instead of rigid resolutions, a word of the year is a gentle and constant reminder to create positive change. While resolutions often seem to have a judgmental quality, a personal word of the year is often about a value. (Think honesty, openness, patience.)

For example, if your word of the year is “abundance”, you might have sub-goals of investing in an abundant number of friendships or spending more quality time with the people you love. If your word is “flow”, your sub-goals may be learning to accept things out of your control or perhaps being spontaneous.

When choosing your word, start by reflecting on areas of your life that could use refinement. What do you want to change, and where would you like to grow? Then make a list of word choices. Are these words actionable? You need to look for a word that you can and want to take daily action on. From your list, choose one word. When you have chosen your word, make sure to make it visible. Write it in your diary, stick it on your fridge or make it your cell phone home screen.

When you have chosen a word, start planning how you will live it out. It won’t happen with good intentions alone. Make your word part of your daily life.

What gifts will the interesting detours of 2022 bring you?

Written by Kim Potgieter on January 19, 2022. Posted in Purpose. 1 Comment on What gifts will the interesting detours of 2022 bring you?

This year started with a slight blip for me. It has always been my habit to start off my year reflecting on the past year and then planning what I would like my new year to look like. Instead of keenly waking up to 2022 and following my yearly system, I woke up with Covid. My head felt fuzzy, and I experienced so much brain fog that my family started commenting on how I was repeating myself over and over again.

If you have ever done a vision board, you’ll know that apart from actually thinking with a clear head, you also need to write legibly and cut on a straight line (I always add visuals to my board!) And here I was feeling murky and muddled. I decided to listen to my body and settled in for ten days of resting, sleeping and recuperating – even reading felt too strenuous! I am grateful that I could recover at home and am happy to report that I am almost feeling like ‘Kim’ again.

Thinking about 2022, I know this for sure: I am excited about what the year will bring. I’m also sure that the year probably won’t go precisely as planned and that I have to be prepared for changes and detours.

Putting my yearly vision board together always gives me a lot of joy and a great sense of accomplishment. As soon as I feel completely recovered and can trust my head and brain not to duplicate all my thoughts, I will be visualising my intentions for the year and clarify where I want to be, who I want to spend my time with and what my goals are going to be.

The past two years have taught me that I need to embrace the detours that will inevitably come my way. I have also learnt that these alternative, roundabout routes to the best-laid plans often bring beautiful and unexpected gifts. I have found that the detours have led me to meet interesting people that I hadn’t planned to meet, taught me lessons about myself that I didn’t know and opened up my world to new experiences. As much as I want – or yearn – to control my surroundings and experiences, the personal growth I have experienced because of the curveballs have been undeniable.

Accepting and even welcoming the detours that life throws at you requires agility. And this will be one of my challenges for the year: to nurture the attribute of being agile. I would like to focus my energy on embracing the curveballs so that I don’t miss the beauty that it brings, rather than wasting my time being disappointed when things don’t work out as exactly as planned.

So, as much as I have plans for 2022, I will be open to the detours that will inevitably come my way. I will welcome them and be interested to see what gifts they will bring.

May 2022 be filled with plentiful gifts and moments that bring you joy. Sometimes the most unexpected moments brings you the greatest joy – if you take the time to stop and acknowledge the emotion inside you.

A look back at our online client events during 2021

Written by RS Editor on November 18, 2021. Posted in Purpose. No Comments on A look back at our online client events during 2021

We had hoped that 2021 would mean we could go back to our in-person events, but sadly it was not to be. Despite this, we still managed to host some fantastic online events that were topical, inspirational, informative, entertaining, and most importantly, relevant to the times we are living in.

We kicked off the year with Mandy Wiener, who enthralled us with tales from her book The Whistleblowers, where she spoke about the people who have courageously come forward to expose corruption and wrongdoing.

As it became glaringly apparent that face-to-face events were unlikely, we organised the first of two quiz nights for the year, hosted by Lynda Smith and Frank Davis. The quiz nights provided some light relief and a chance for clients to connect. Donations after each quiz night were made to African Food for Thought and Vulpro, respectively.

Kim Potgieter’s new book Midlife Money Makeover was launched at the beginning of May. Kim firmly believes her book is a reality due to the wisdom, insight and lessons that clients have taught her over the years. To celebrate, we hosted an event where Kim was in conversation with Maya Fisher-French discussing what it takes to live purposefully. We realised the importance of self-care while navigating life in a pandemic, so we hosted a Women’s Wellness event where Image Consultant Wendy Hind and Makeup Artist Holly Petersen shared some tips and tricks on looking and feeling great.

Kevin Lings joined us in June and presented us with a global and local economic overview. In the throes of yet another lockdown, we planned to host events that would provide some light relief and allow us all to have a bit of fun. Sean Brokensha, The Music Guru, took us on a musical
journey that traced the evolution and revolution of music in our country and how the sound of the new South Africa was born. TV presenter, author and safari guide James Hendry delighted and entertained us by sharing the story of humanity’s tumultuous relationship with wilderness
during his presentation, Plugged into the Wild.

We will always remember July 2021 as a tumultuous one in our country’s history. We all felt rattled by the events taking place. In order to try and make sense of what was happening, we hosted an event with thought leader and renowned scientist Prof. Anthony Turton, who shared his reflections on our young democracy, with particular attention to understanding the complexities of the events that took place in July.

In August we celebrated Women’s Day with Nikki Bush, who gave us tips and valuable insights on how to bloom through disruptive times. During this month, we also hosted Director of NinetyOne, Jeremy Gardiner, who shared his invaluable insight into the impact that the disruptions were likely to have on our investments, our economy, and the country we live in and love.

We kicked off Spring with an event hosted by Dr Karin Lourens, Nicci Wright and Richard Pierce, highlighting the plight of the world’s most trafficked mammal, the pangolin. This was followed by a session with Ida Doyer, a sensory integration occupational therapist, who took us on an enlightening journey around our response to the environment around us through the seven senses.

Renowned political commentator Justice Malala was our guest speaker in October, and his insights into the political landscape of South Africa and the elections were sobering. Given the events of the past year, we have realised what a necessary skill resilience is, so we decided to end October off by hosting endurance athlete, author and brain cancer survivor, Richard Wright who inspired us with his story of endurance, passion, heartbreak and triumph of the human spirit over crippling adversity.

Evita Bezuidenhout entertained us at our final event of the year – Evita Adapts and Does Not Dye.

Thank you to all clients who joined us at these events. We look forward to hosting a combination of in-person and hybrid events in 2022.

Reflections on turning 60 – the good, the bad, and the ugly

Written by Clients in Action on October 19, 2021. Posted in Health. 4 Comments on Reflections on turning 60 – the good, the bad, and the ugly

So, you’re a man and you just turned 60? The world’s going to change for you. You’ve seen it coming already with your colleagues in their early and mid-60s. Suddenly, they’re gone. The company, the organization, wherever they’ve been slaving away (and perhaps even loving their work) doesn’t want them anymore. Policy dictates after 63 or maybe 65 yadayada… the email crosses their screen and if they’re lucky someone remembers to throw a party for them before they’re gone. Ah, except I forgot for a moment, there’s Covid to deal with – so no party either.

It’s coming to you soon. And unless you are one of the lucky few who has a good pension or independent wealth, you’re going to have to make a plan.

So, the first part of that plan is to do what your wife likely does much more often than you ever did – go and see the doctor for a check-up. Prostate, ECG, those scaly little bumps on the side of your cheek, just where the golf cap doesn’t shade the skin. Have them seen to. The good news is that you’ve probably got a lot of years still ahead of you. Medicine is getting better and better literally with each passing month. Things that crippled or killed our grandparents can be solved increasingly easily. Look at your ageing parents. They are doing much better than their parents. We can expect to be much healthier than any generation before us. Probably many of you already know this. You’ve already had your first knee op or are feeling that dull ache in your lower back that means a hip replacement is coming up. I was a war correspondent for many years until finally the weight of the flak jackets wore my back out. I got to the point where I was crippled with pain – and this is no metaphor – I couldn’t walk, I was shaking with agony. I lay on the floor at the doctor’s office, and he operated on me the next day. As I write this, I get a lump in my throat with the gratitude I feel for what modern medicine made possible. I hardly think of my back now. But I tell you what…. my hip is starting to niggle just the tiniest bit when I go for my daily walk. Let’s see, maybe yoga and stretching exercises will keep things together.

So, believe me, you’re likely going to be physically okay for a long time now; but its what’s in your head that holds the most unexpected surprises. You’ve seen your colleagues kicked to the curb. You’ve had the conversations when they hit 62 and they say “what am I going to do? I don’t have a clue.”

“Ah well,” you replied. “Something will come up.” But behind the next sip of Johnny Walker Black he took, you won’t forget the look of fear, anger, and looming humiliation. Usually something does seem to sort of work out. But it’s not a given.

Most of us are going to still be working for another 15 to 20 years yet. And trust me on this, just about no one’s going to give you another job. Even for us freelancers, after a certain age, the phone stops ringing. It’s emotionally the same as getting the two-line email. You’ve been working this career for 35, 40 years and you’re really good at it. And, if you are like me, you’ve loved every minute of it. But suddenly, or slowly, if you’re lucky, the carpet is whipped out from under your feet, and, as Tom Petty put it (remember how we partied to him?) you’re freefalling.

It’s going to hurt like hell. And all sorts of old damage from your childhood or teen years or your divorce will come back to haunt in ways you thought you’d long ago put behind you. And you won’t know who the hell you are anymore.

Be prepared for this. You can’t tough it out. It’s real. It’s life-shattering, and it happens to all of us. It’s what Dante wrote about in the Inferno, getting lost in a dark wood with the road “wholly lost and gone.”

But that’s not the end of the story. Dante also wrote two more books about this journey of life: Purgatory and Paradise. I don’t think the voyage ahead is that clear or that simple, but know this: there is a way out of that dark forest that you will find yourself lost in. There are a myriad of ways. And if you haven’t already started, dive into the internet and the digital world. Wrestle with it daily, learn its ways. There are millions to be made there, and you don’t have to be Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos just to pull in a few thousand bucks here and there. Or use it to grow a business you are running from your garage with the help of a couple of formerly jobless youth.

If you’re really lucky you get to be a consultant for a while, or perhaps mentor younger people. I’ve started doing both and I love it.
Basically, you’ll probably have to become an entrepreneur of some sort. It’s a different thing altogether from getting a consulting contract. Believe me there are a whole host of 50-year-olds waiting to grab that away from you.

Being an entrepreneur sounds a lot sexier than it is most days, but there are also so many opportunities out there that you will begin to find once you’ve stopped grieving for who you were for the last 40 years and begin to accept who and where you are now.

The “golden years” of retirement are a tired old myth created by advertisers for insurance companies when we were in our teens and twenties and watched our grandparents retire on secure pensions. That way of life is gone, if it ever really existed in the first place. It’s not an option for most of us now – men or women – we will have to find a way to keep making it on our own.

Forget about the myth – remember instead just how lucky we really are to be turning 60. We ain’t old yet, no matter how our ageist society largely regards us. So many more years lie ahead, and within each one of those are so many golden days to enjoy with those we love and to celebrate our new, unexpected, and better yet, still unimagined, successes.

Wellington Wine Walk – June 2021

Written by Clients in Action on September 22, 2021. Posted in Play. No Comments on Wellington Wine Walk – June 2021

Brian and I were very privileged to be invited on a WWW in 2018 by Pat Blamire from Chartered Wealth. We had a lovely time during that walk, and now living on a Mature Lifestyle Estate and chatting to friends about our various travels, we one day mentioned the Wine Walk we had done in 2018. Before I knew it, I had been nominated to get another group together and do another walk.

This time the walk was in June 2021, a little chilly in the mornings and evenings, a bit of drizzle on the first day, but other than that, wonderfully blue skies, and warm weather during our walks. We were the last group of walkers for the season – Autumn season stretches from the last week of March to approximately 10 June and Spring season starts the last week of August to end November.

There are so many superlatives that I could use to describe this adventure that it becomes a bit overwhelming, so I shall just give you a little precis of our three-day walk. In this time of Covid, with so many people not being able to travel internationally, visiting or revisiting some of our local destinations makes sense.

We had another couple within our group of 15 who had also done this walk (in 2011), and they concur that doing it the second time around was different and as enjoyable as the first time. This trip again confirmed how blessed we are to live in this beautiful country, with such spectacular vistas and passionate and committed South Africans willing to share their stories and farms with visitors. We had three non-drinkers in our group – this should also explain how popular this trip is – if non-drinkers want to do the wine walk!

All the WWW guides are fully accredited and qualified and willingly share their exceptional knowledge of the area’s history. There are always two guides with the group each day. Both guides telling us stories of the vineyards, the people, the geography, and so much more.

The adventure starts at Diemersfontein Wine Estate and Guest House, where Johann gave us our first wine tasting and spoke with such passion and eloquence about Diemersfontein, told us the history of the farm, spoke about Thokozani (sustainable economic empowerment with world-class wines) and let us taste some outstanding wines. Here the 15 of us already started filling in our order forms with gusto.

The next day was cloudy and a bit cool with some drizzle, but nothing deterred us from jumping onto the tractor/trailer to be taken up the “trekpad” through Diemersfontein Estate to start our walk. We walked through vineyards, past herb farm tunnels, admiring the spectacular Franschhoek mountains. We visited Augusta Kleinbosch (destroyed by fire in 2017 and due to be renovated shortly). Francois gave us a most interesting walk around and talked about the cemetery and old school and invited us to sample some of the most recent delicious guavas straight off the fruit trees. We stopped at Druk My Niet for our next wine tasting. Here Dorothy let us try fabulous wines (more orders flowing) and told us about the destruction to the homestead and vineyard during the fires in 2017. After a lovely picnic lunch, prepared by Sam, another local mom, we walked to Cascade Manor for our next stop.

Here, even battling through load shedding, Volker was able to give us tastings of his olive oils, and we were treated to another outstanding meal. A note to potential walkers, pace yourselves with the food – every single meal was a delight! And together with the wine, we all overindulged.

The second day’s tasting started at Elsabe du Plessis’ homestead with buchu brandy. Buchu is grown only in South Africa and has astonishing medicinal qualities – we did have to have more than one shot of the buchu brandy to make sure! These shots warmed us all up instantly, and Elsabe’s passion for her farm and her olive oil, wines, jams and preserves had us all in stitches. Elsabe told us about “stokkies”, the grafting of vines and where the term “stokkiesdraai” comes from – very enlightening. We were most reluctant to leave her home to continue our walk to Hildenbrand Wine and Olive Estate.

At Hildenbrand, we were entertained and given a splendid lunch and wine tasting by Reni (lady owner and winemaker of note). Reni is on the International Olive Oil Tasting Association and is in demand worldwide. She is also a passionate animal lover with lots of cats, dogs, donkeys, horses and other rescued animals on her farm.

A relatively quick walk to our next stop, Dunstone Country House, where we were met by Privilege and Rene with coffee/tea and the most delicious scones and cream. Another superb dinner, with lots more wine – there were no wine tastings at Dunstone, but we had experienced their Shiraz before, so copious amounts were consumed and purchased for home enjoyment. A quick show of line dancing was given by some of the group, much to the delight of the waitrons – Jerusalema was a huge hit!

Our third and last walking day saw us being shuttled up Bains Kloof pass – beautiful scenery and such history. Our first wine tasting was at Doolhof Estate by Mercia – where we even tried their gin – again, the order forms were out in full force. A short walk to Welvanpas, the home of the Retief family (yes – descendants of Piet Retief) – Dan and his wife Retha gave us a splendid lunch and more wine tasting. Our last wine tasting for the trip and the third one of the day (whooo!) was at Bosman Family Vineyards by Charlene – the biggest farm in the region, with unparalleled wines. There are 500 permanent workers on this farm, it being the largest “stokkies” farm in Wellington. Fascinating to learn how the various cultivars are grafted.

We were shuttled back to Diemersfontein to sort out our purchases, ready to be shipped to Johannesburg and then shuttled back to Dunstone for our last night before departing the following morning, back to reality.

We walked 10km, 11km, and 8km daily (most of us used Steps on our phones to measure distances which are not consistently accurate but gives an indication of distances). None of the walking was strenuous, some uphills are handled by shuttle, and most of the walking is relatively sedate, with lots of stopping to admire and talk about the view, the fynbos, the farming, wines, food, and the history of the area. There were some really exceptional walks; one, in particular, was a walk through a forest on the way to Welvanpas, whilst another was walking through miles and miles of vineyards, with the various colours, from deep red to light green.

If you are a walker, a passionate wine drinker, an armchair historian or a patriotic South African, this walk will be ideal for you and your friends. We left feeling proud to be South Africans – being reminded of our history, our culture, language and the hardships of being a farmer – every time you lift a glass of wine to say cheers, the first salute should always be to the farmers! Respect and enormous gratitude to them all!

There are other options of shorter or longer walks – check out their website www.winewalk.co.za or contact them directly at info@winewalk.co.za.

“Music gives soul to the universe and wings to the mind”

Written by Lyndsay Barr on September 21, 2021. Posted in Play. 6 Comments on “Music gives soul to the universe and wings to the mind”

Plato said that “music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything”.

My first memory of my mother is of her singing and dancing. She loves music, and I don’t recall a day of my childhood that didn’t involve music. She woke us up singing and sang us to sleep. I remember wanting to crawl under a rock when she told us the story of running down the road, chasing Cliff Richard’s car. My twelve-year-old self thought that was the most embarrassing thing any person could do.

The years have gone by, and at 73, she still adores music. She has particularly enjoyed the client events at Chartered with Sean Brokensha, the Music Guru. After each event, she would call me and gush, and then she would express how it was her dream to have dinner with Sean and let him tell her about Leonard Cohen. The gravelly-voiced troubadour had an unrivalled way with words and became one of Canada’s greatest literary giants. Her enduring interest in and fascination with his music only happened later in life where she came to appreciate the beauty and intricacy of his poetry and lyrics.

This year, we decided that we would make her dream come true and take her on a musical journey instead of a physical one for her birthday, so we arranged dinner with Sean and a whole night dedicated to Leonard.

It was an intimate affair held on the patio on a beautiful spring evening. The presentation was peppered with wonderful anecdotes and biographical information about this amazing artist, but what really brought it to life were all the fantastic videos. Sean is very relaxed and laid back, and he didn’t mind being interrupted or questioned even when he was required to deviate from his pre-prepared agenda. Various artists ranging from Johnny Clegg and Peter Gabriel and the poetry of Kerouac, also came under the spotlight.

These past 18 months have really highlighted how it is memories and not things that matter the most. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to spend time as a family and explore my mother’s passion.

Watching my mother delight in every minute will be what I remember from the evening, and these lyrics are the ones that will always remind me of my parents and their love story.

“Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love.”

Spring Reads & Eats

Written by RS Editor on September 21, 2021. Posted in Play. No Comments on Spring Reads & Eats

It’s Heritage Day, fondly known as Braai Day, on Friday, hopefully you get to spend the long weekend soaking up the sun. A braai is not a braai without a potato salad, and we found this delicious recipe that adds a twist to the traditional potato salad:

RECIPE

Biltong & Braaied Potato Salad

Ingredients

6 large potatoes, peeled and sliced
100g butter, melted
salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 red onion, finely chopped
large handful moist biltong, roughly chopped
handful fresh chives, chopped
handful fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped
handful feta cheese, crumbled
small handful capers
mayonnaise (bought or homemade)

Method:

Start by par cooking the potatoes in a large pot of salted boiling water.
The trick is not to cook them too soft or they will fall apart on the braai — 3–5 mins should be good.
Drain the potatoes then brush with melted butter and season with salt and pepper.
Using a flip grid, braai the potatoes until cooked through and caramelised.
Once the potatoes are cool you can cut them into squares and place them into a large mixing bowl.
Add the rest of the ingredients, including as much mayonnaise as you like, then gently fold everything together and season with salt and pepper.
If you’ve got time then let it rest in the fridge for a while to let the flavours get cosy.
If not, then tuck in!

Recipe extract from Beer Country’s Beer Food Fire by Karl Tessendorf and Greg Gilowey, published by Struik Lifestyle.

BOOK REVIEW & COMPETITION

If you are on the lookout for a new book to read, we recommend The Promise by Damon Galgut. It’s always fantastic when South African authors make the Booker Prize shortlist. If you would like to win a copy of this book, please email lyndsay@charteredwealth.co.za and we will enter you into our lucky draw.

The Promise by Damon Galgut
Shortlisted for the 2021 Booker Prize

There is nothing unusual or remarkable about the Swart family, oh no, they resemble the family from the next farm and the one beyond that, just an ordinary bunch of white South Africans, and if you don’t believe it then listen to us speak…

The many voices of The Promise tell a story in four snapshots, each one centered on a family funeral, each one happening in a different decade. In the background, a different president is in power, and a different spirit hangs over the country, while in the foreground the family fights over what they call their farm, on a worthless piece of land outside Pretoria.

Over large jumps in time, people get older, faces and laws and lives all change, while a brother and sister circle around a promise made long ago, and never kept …

A South African Spring adventure

Written by Kim Potgieter on September 21, 2021. Posted in Play. 4 Comments on A South African Spring adventure

Spring does bring along change, and we as a family were ready to embrace it. With travel restrictions still in place, what better idea to celebrate the wonder of this new season immersed in one of the natural wonders of our world – the Cape wildflowers. We pointed our springtime travels in the direction of the flower route on the West Coast and boldly went somewhere we’ve never been before.

I have one word to describe our adventure: awestruck. I was mesmerised by the tapestry of the landscape and captivated by the hidden gems that I’ve never discovered before in South Africa.

Our first stop was Paternoster, one of the oldest and most iconic fishing villages on the West Coast. We stayed in a gorgeous house that we found on the LekkeSlaap travel and accommodation website. It was the perfect spot to explore the tranquil, relaxing atmosphere of the town, the beach and the Columbine Nature Reserve. It’s no secret that I love food and cooking! You should not be surprised that we decided to explore the Foodie Route on the West Coast. Sitting at the harbour in St Helena Bay munching on fried fish and chips served in paper packets was simple but oh so delicious.

You may have heard of our next stop, Darling. Blogger Anje Rautenbach of Going Somewhere Slowly describes Darling as akin to fine wine – a soft yet crisp experience best enjoyed with good company, at a slow speed, with an explorer’s undertone and a good balance of fun and laughter. This is also where Pieter Dirk Uys turned the station into a theatrical experience with Evita se Perron. I was blown away by the Ormonde Private Cellar with its collection of 30+ award-winning wines and loved how the owner spent time with us sharing his passion for wine. The snack platter served was an outstanding, delicious work of art that took me back to how snack platters were served in Franschoek before it was commercialised. We also visited the Orchid Festival that only happens once a year in Darling.

Of course, Darling is not only famous for Evita se Perron, wine tasting and flowers. We popped into Darling Brew for a glass of slowly fermented craft beer – a lovely visit but beer has never been my favourite. You can also explore the town museum and try out the many delightful eateries scattered along the main road.

Spring has reminded me to nurture my soul with all the things that make me happy. My family, special friends, delicious foods and adventuring in our picturesque country add up to unforgettable memories that I will cherish always.

There are many beautiful places to visit in South Africa to revive yourself and bring you closer to nature. I would love to hear (and see some pics) of some of your favourite destinations.

Happy Spring!

We all need basic human interaction

Written by Kim Potgieter on August 23, 2021. Posted in Relationships. 2 Comments on We all need basic human interaction

As I reflect on the past eighteen months, a sense of gratitude envelopes me. And it’s all thanks to you. Words just cannot express how deeply grateful we are for your support, enthusiasm and willingness to embrace our new way of connecting and coming together.

Covid has robbed us of many things, one of them being our basic need for human interaction. It put an end to our face-to-face events, and we needed to think of new ways to meet, chat and connect. Do you remember when we circulated the very first manual explaining how to use Zoom and Teams? You welcomed our new mode of communication, and we enjoyed our first online event so much that we lined up as many as four events in some months. We laughed, sometimes we cried, but most of all, we challenged ourselves to learn and expand our viewpoints on many topics.

I remember coming together with the marketing team and unanimously deciding that webinars won’t be part of our communication mix. Webinars are just too impersonal. We wanted to keep our cameras on and actually see each other. I have learnt that we all need to know that we are not alone, whether introverted or extroverted. There is strength, support, and a whole lot of love to be found in being together.

It has been a difficult journey. And it still is. When the Covid lockdown started, I was encouraged by how many clients joined me to learn from Brené Brown’s teachings. We all needed to learn how to embrace our vulnerability through all this uncertainty. Little did we know how long it was going to last.

I have learnt that laughter is often the best medicine! And did we laugh! We had fun with the Music Guru, Nik Rabinowitz and Quiz night with Lynda and Frank. Paula Quinsee taught us how to navigate the ups and downs of life for more successful relationships, and I loved learning that we can breathe new energy and purpose into stale ones. Nikki Bush’s very personal story of losing her husband and how she found collateral beauty amongst the collateral damage left a mark on all our hearts.

I was deeply moved when you all came together to celebrate the launch of my new book, Midlife Money Makeover. I will forever be grateful for all the cheering and good wishes. Thank you.

We have been a great team! Jeremy Gardiner (Ninety One), Kevin Lings (Stanlib), Brandon Zietsman (Portfolio Metrix) and Izaak Odendaal (Old Mutual Wealth) all came together to update us on our investments and the economy. After the unsettling riots that rocked South Africa recently, Anthony Turton’s talk about historical insights and the outlook for the future was just what we needed.

None of this would have been possible if you had not shown up and embraced change. I believe us all coming together as a community has been very helpful and given us a sense of encouragement as we journey through this uncertain time.

Look out for many more invitations still to come this year. As a special treat, we will be joined online by Pieter Dirk Uys in November. For now, online events are our best and safest way of connecting, but we remain hopeful to host face-to-face events soon.

Blooming through disruptive times

Written by Lyndsay Barr on August 23, 2021. Posted in Relationships. No Comments on Blooming through disruptive times

We hosted an event with Human Potential and Parenting Expert Nikki Bush in honour of Women’s Month. We have all been sitting in a place of extreme discomfort and with an overwhelming sense of lack of control over the past months, and during this insightful talk, Nikki provided us with tips and tools to help us bloom through these times.

Life sends us tremors constantly, and sometimes it sends catastrophic life quakes that can break you open or bury you alive; and according to Nikki, we need to learn how to reframe these situations to reauthor our lives.

1. Getting Comfortable with not knowing

Most of us have spent years building sound financial plans and life plans which provided us with a certain degree of comfort about the future. However, we now know that this is no longer the case; we really don’t know what the future holds in terms of our plans. In order to reframe so that we can become more resilient, we need to get used to this discomfort.

2. Comma or full stop?

When Nikki’s husband, Simon, was tragically murdered at the end of 2017, the life she had known came to an end. In one split second, her whole world changed. Her family of four suddenly became a family of three, and all her hopes and dreams of her future with Simon were shattered. Nikki describes this time in her life as feeling like a full stop. However, with time Nikki began to turn this full stop into a comma, a pause, not the end, and she started creating a different future for herself. She had to actively decide to do that. This journey took her completely out of her comfort zone. She had to go to new places, meet new people and define who Nikki was without Simon. She urged us to consider whether significant moments in our lives where we feel completely out of control are full stops or commas.

3. Collateral beauty versus Collateral damage

Not only did she lose her husband, but she also lost her home and her anchor. Her family picture had been broken. While it was understandably easy for her to focus on all that was lost and broken, she also decided to focus on what she had gained, as with the damage came beauty too. Nikki calls this exercise in perspective Collateral Damage vs Collateral Beauty. In this exercise, she encourages you to fold a piece of paper in half. On one side, write the collateral damage of a particular situation, and on the other side, write down the collateral beauty. Take lockdown, for example; you would perhaps write isolation from family and friends on the collateral damage side, but what could the collateral beauty be? Could it be that you learnt new skills such as Zoom, which now means that you connect with friends and family overseas more regularly? It’s important to always look for the beauty in situations, and this exercise provides a perfect opportunity to gain perspective.

Nikki ended the session with this quote “Listen for the messages in the flames, and dig for the treasures in the ashes.”

Ring the bells that can still ring

Written by Patricia O’Hare on July 22, 2021. Posted in Purpose. 3 Comments on Ring the bells that can still ring

At the age of 72, I am so blessed to be still able to work part-time at a Mental Health Care Unit nearby. Not only does this job provide me with stimulation (which I crave in this Covid dominated world), but it also allows me to interact with all the other doctors and therapists in the team. Each of them brings new ideas and suggestions which are truly invigorating.

The therapeutic modality which we follow in this ward is called Dialectic Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – a well-researched and documented therapy especially for disorders where emotional dysregulation causes negative consequences for the patient. The overall goal of the therapy is to give patients a life worth living. The programme is skills-based, and a number of the skills taught can also be invaluable to people who do not fall into the emotional dysregulation category – they are good, simple, down-to-earth life skills that can be used in various situations by a variety of individuals.

The particular skill I would like to share is called Radical Acceptance, which is defined as “complete and total acceptance, from deep within, the facts of reality. It involves acknowledging facts that are true and letting go of the fight with reality” (Linehan).

The above definition sounds obvious, yet for many people, when reality does not accord with their hoped for or expected reality, a huge mental and emotional process is unleashed. This flood of negative thoughts and emotions can be very unsettling and interferes with the individual’s coping capacity. The emotional mind goes into overdrive with intense feelings of disbelief, fear, outrage and anger, to name but a few. The emotional mind then dominates the rational mind. The result is usually poor problem-solving techniques followed by impulsive behaviour (which is generally later regretted) and the ensuing emotions of shame and regret, which add to the emotional turmoil.

To identify whether you have trouble with radical acceptance, monitor your thoughts for a while, and if you catch yourself thinking thoughts like” this shouldn’t happen, this can’t be happening, this is not fair, I don’t deserve this, I don’t believe this” you would, in all likelihood, have problems with radical acceptance. When you are unable to accept what is, all your emotional energy is used to generate more and more inflammatory thoughts and emotions. This type of behaviour will never result in acceptance because all you are doing is fanning the flames instead of trying to douse them. No matter how unpalatable the event that caused your pain, if you don’t allow yourself to accept what is, the pain will persevere and cause prolonged suffering.

To illustrate the above, a song by Leonard Cohen comes to mind (I am an unabashed devotee of his – his poetry is magic). The song is Anthem, and the chorus line is as follows:

This refrain encapsulates for me all the ideas about radical acceptance. Firstly, there is always a chance for a new beginning even though it may not be our ideal – there will always be bells that still can ring even though your preferred one is out of the equation. Secondly, forget the perfect offering because it doesn’t always guarantee the perfect outcome. Thirdly, there is a crack in everything – although perfection is highly desired, it is seldom realised. Lastly, that’s how the light gets in refers to possibilities and a new way of thinking that may not have been possible had the crack not appeared to let the light in.

Radical acceptance is a tool that you can use, not to dull the pain but to prevent long-time suffering because of your inability to say, “So be it. Amen”

There’s a hero inside all of us

Written by Kim Potgieter on July 18, 2021. Posted in Give Back. 4 Comments on There’s a hero inside all of us

I have a new hero in my life! I have known Samson for quite a while now, but little did I know that he would be the one to give me hope and a renewed sense of how we humans, collectively, can be stronger and braver than we ever thought.

Samson is my running coach and during our early morning run this past Saturday, we shared stories of our past. He told me that he used to be a child of the streets and, he relied on the kindness and open hearts of passersby and restaurant owners for food. Samson would often scrounge for food and clothes in rubbish bins and slept wherever he could find a safe space for the night. At eight years old, his parents could not afford to look after him, and I imagine how he put on his super-hero cape and made the streets his home.

Superheroes come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s very often ordinary human beings who achieve great things. Heroes do need sidekicks though, and in my mind, this translates to the superpower we have as people when we pull together, support each other and give with our hearts and minds with love.

When I am struggling the most, I often get busy helping where I can. It makes me feel better. Gabi and I spent many happy hours together this month baking chocolate-chip biscuits and wrapping extra-stock Chartered gifts as donations to the health care workers and nurses. The theme of July is ‘Health and Wellness’ at Chartered – as a company, we are pulling together, helping each other and as many people as we can through this difficult period. Helping others makes you feel good. It feels good to give back and know that even your smallest gesture can make a big difference.

Samson’s story is not unique. It’s one of many, if not thousands of stories out there. But Samson is unique. Against all odds, he managed not only to survive – but thrive! Today, he is a successful business person, a great running coach and an extraordinary human being. I was really touched by how grateful he was and still is for having the strength, the tenacity, and the help of many people to get him to where he is today. He has been the inspiration behind our outreach efforts to help the many homeless people in Rosebank find shelter and food.

Trying to get through this third wave of the pandemic as well as the current chaos in our country has been hard. And it’s because we’re tired; we are worn-out and depleted. I want to remind you that you too have a hero inside you – and if many heroes join together, they become unstoppable! Don’t journey alone, join forces with your friends, your family or colleagues. We are stronger together, and together we will get through this and make a difference while we’re at it.

There is no better tonic than giving back. Think of the many ways you can make someone else’s life better. I’ve started adding extra toiletries to my shopping trolley for donation to the homeless. Perhaps you can support your local restaurant or corner shop, even if you don’t feel like takeaways. Or call a friend, someone who may need a listening ear. Nelson Mandela reminded us that no matter how small your actions, you can change the world for the better. Why not dedicate your 67 minutes this July giving back to the world around you?

I would love to hear how you celebrated giving back this month.

Until then, stay safe and ‘may the force be with you’,

July Winter Warmers

Written by RS Editor on July 18, 2021. Posted in Give Back. No Comments on July Winter Warmers

We are in the grips of winter. The cold weather, coupled with the lockdown and the chaos in our country means that staying at home is the only option at the moment.

It’s hard to focus right now, so why not keep busy cooking a delicious meal or losing yourself in a good book. These are our two suggestions, but you know we love hearing from you, so please email us here if you have a recipe worth sharing, or if you have read a book that you absolutely loved and would like to share.

RECIPE

Taste Magazine’s Delicious Oxtail

Ingredients

5 T olive oil
2.5 kg oxtail, cut into 4 cm chunks
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
400 g carrots, sliced julienne
400 g celery, sliced julienne
1 T fresh rosemary finely chopped, plus an additional sprig for remembrance
1 T fresh thyme finely chopped, plus an additional sprig for courage
4 dried bay leaves
4 cloves
2 T flour
2 x 400 g whole tomatoes cans
1 cup red wine
1 litre beef stock

Method

Preheat the oven 220°C. Place 3 T oil in a roasting tray and heat in the oven. Once the oil is hot, add the oxtail and toss until all the meat is coated. Season to taste.

Return the meat to the oven and cook for a further 20 minutes, or until it’s nicely browned and the fat is golden.

Meanwhile, place the carrots, celery and herbs in a large saucepan with the remaining olive oil and gently simmer for 20 minutes. (You many need to add a few tablespoons of water at some point.)

Remove the oxtail from the oven and set aside. Reduce the oven’s temperature to 170°C. Add the bay leaves, cloves, flour, tomatoes, wine and beef stock to the vegetables. Lastly add the oxtail, all the roasting juices and bring to a boil.

Return to the roasting tray, cover with a lid and cook in the oven for a further 5 hours. If you make this a day or two in advance, no harm comes to it if you put it into the oven at 170°C for another hour or so to heat it up.

BOOK REVIEW & COMPETITION

The book we highly recommend this month is The Heart Is The Size Of A Fist by PP Fourie. If you would like to win a copy of this book, please email lyndsay@charteredwealth.co.za, and we will put you in the draw.

The Heart is the Size of a Fist by PP Fourie
Review by Kate Sidley

The semi-autobiographical novel centres on Paul and his relationship with his politically liberal but cruel and violent alcoholic father, and his loving but damaged mother. The book shifts between recollection of his childhood, devastated by addiction and domestic violence, and his adult life in which he does the work of understanding and healing, and reconnects with his much younger half-brother in a poignantly tentative and tender way. It’s a coming-of-age and coming out novel, a book about survival and healing and memory.

It’s beautifully written, thoughtful and strangely gripping. It had me glued to the book and the sofa all day. One of my best books of the year so far.

Lending a helping hand this Mandela month

Written by Lyndsay Barr on July 18, 2021. Posted in Give Back. No Comments on Lending a helping hand this Mandela month

Nelson Mandela said, “There can be no greater gift than that of giving one’s time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return.” Traditionally individuals and companies would honour Mandela on his birthday by spending 67 minutes serving those less fortunate than themselves.

Covid and the violence currently gripping our country has meant that traditional Mandela Day activities, such as visiting NGOs, is no longer possible; however, the need for assistance is greater than ever.

At Chartered, we launched a give back challenge (#CharteredGiveBack) for July. Staff are encouraged to get involved and make a difference, no matter how big or small.

We identified a few causes that we felt passionate about, and one of them was the homeless. Did you know that it only costs R10 to sponsor a bed for a person at a homeless shelter per night?

Covid has directly impacted many of our staff and clients, and it is during these times that we realise just what heroes our frontline workers are. To say thank you to them, we have been collecting items such as tea, coffee, biscuits, rusks, Energade and energy bars. These items, along with all our leftover client gifts, are being donated to the doctors, nurses and auxiliary staff working in the Covid wards.

Some staff members have decided to donate dry goods which they have delivered to our office using the Checkers sixty60 app. We have partnered with various organisations that will then distribute the food collected to those in need.

Lockdown is the perfect opportunity to clean out cupboards, and One Small Act of Kindness gladly accepts these donations as they help people in need across the board. One Small Act of Kindness also welcomes donations of fresh sandwiches and muffins, which they distribute to the hungry.

The upheaval in our country this past week has brought communities together, and the call to volunteer has been widespread. Hundreds of thousands of South Africans have heeded the call to lend a helping hand. Social media is flooded with opportunities to help rebuild our country, ranging from financial assistance to helping clean up, providing resources to skills sharing. It’s easy to do, all you need to do is fill out a form here stating how you would like to help, and you will be notified of ways in which you can help.

Below are a few more suggestions of how you can safely give back.

If you would like more information on any Chartered Give Back initiatives, please get in touch with Lyndsay. If you have your own give back story that you would like to share with us, please do; we love hearing from you.

Giving back through skills sharing

Written by Clients in Action on July 18, 2021. Posted in Give Back. 1 Comment on Giving back through skills sharing

There is a beautiful quote that says, “If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it,” and this is precisely what Chartered clients’ Dr Errol Allcock and Veronique Hoog have been doing.

Give back has always been important to them, and independently they have contributed to various causes, be it supporting mobile libraries for township schools to fund raising for children orphaned by HIV. They acknowledge, though, that give back is not just about building houses or giving of one’s time and money. At a time where people are struggling as a result of, amongst other things, Covid and our strained economy, Errol and Veronique consciously decided that they would give back to people through the transfer of their vast knowledge and skills gained through many years of work experience. Drawing from their collective backgrounds in science, IT and business, and having worked in various industries, they are ideally suited to assist those in need.

Through word of mouth, companies ranging from micro-enterprises to medium-enterprises call on them for expertise and advice on next steps to take in order to survive or grow their businesses. Many of these companies have come from an informal structure where compliance, particularly adherence to tax laws, labour laws and reporting, and governance, amongst other areas, have been all but neglected.

Errol and Veronique acknowledge what a lonely place owning a small business can be, so they aim to be a quality soundboard for small enterprises. They could be described as a resource centre, offering guidance and advice, or as micro-management consultants. They don’t work in isolation, though, and rely on their extensive networks. Often times they link business owners up with other relevant service providers who can guide the small enterprises in their areas of expertise.

Both Errol and Veronique are still active in their careers, so they give back in their spare time. It is an area they feel incredibly passionate about and one in which they find huge fulfilment. Spending half an hour in their time challenges one to think out the box about how you can personally give back. Their passion is contagious, and one can’t help but be left feeling hugely inspired.

Lean on me – lean on you

Written by Kim Potgieter on June 10, 2021. Posted in Health. 3 Comments on Lean on me – lean on you

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I call a friend. You all know how much I enjoy spending time with people, and for me, nothing beats a good chat with a good friend. If it’s face-to-face, even better. Add a cappuccino (or dare I say, a glass of wine) – the best!

My friend and I both desperately needed to talk, to lean on each other. Bill Withers expressed it so beautifully in his song Lean on me:

Lean on me,
when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend,
I’ll help you carry on…
for it won’t be long,
till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.

My friend is going through a difficult patch. Her elderly parents have moved in, and her mom is immobile. This has completely changed life in their home. After listening, I asked her: How are you taking care of yourself? She was shocked! It was a question that she has never considered. “But I’m too busy taking care of everyone else,” she said.

I have also been feeling a bit fatigued lately. A while back, I told you that my husband, Gys was diagnosed with cancer. He has been incredibly brave, and his treatment schedule has been harrowing. The good news is that he’s been given the all-clear twice now and his next check-up is three months from now. Life always happens in ebbs and flows, and low points and high points are often grouped together. It has been a difficult time for us as a family as my daughter, Gabi, has now been experiencing paralysis in her left hand. It’s been six weeks so far with no improvement. In addition, my schedule has been ramped up with talks and interviews around my new book, and this time of year is busy with workshops, seminars and meetings. I like to help and very seldom turn down a speaking engagement or meeting request. Trying to make a difference, even for one person, makes it all worthwhile.

My friend threw my question right back at me and asked me how I was taking care of myself. It’s a good question. I always say that if you don’t look after yourself, you will be of no use to anyone else.

We are compassionate human beings, and compassion is probably one of the most powerful forces in the world. It embraces the noble traits of grace, empathy and love; it drives hope; helps us see the light in the darkness and makes us feel loved. We’ve seen compassion in action all over the world. Everyone I know has spent time helping others, being kinder, gentler and offering support. It’s just in our nature. We want to help. We want to be there for the people we love.

But we do have to watch out for compassion fatigue, defined by psychologists as exhaustion on a physiological, biological and emotional level brought on by prolonged periods of stress. You may be feeling more tired than usual, or more forgetful, even burnt-out. Decisions become harder to make, your coping skills diminish, and life just feels too much.

So, here’s my question to you: How are you looking after yourself? Are you self-compassionate? Do you take time out to self-care and self-love? I know it sounds easier than it really is. I get that. It is hard to self-care when you are so busy caring for everyone else in your life. But you simply have to make yourself a priority too. If you falter and fall, you will not be there to look after the ones you love.

Apart from making time for chats with my friends, I self-care by taking long, warm baths. I exercise every day, take my daily vitamins and make sure that I’m always able to serve my family fresh vegetables and herbs from my garden. If things get really tough, I practice gratitude to remind myself just how special my world is.

Find someone to lean on if you need a helping hand… they will need to lean on you too at some point. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

Winter warmers

Written by Clients in Action on June 9, 2021. Posted in Play. 2 Comments on Winter warmers

There is no denying that winter is finally here. The cold weather coupled with the fact that we are in the third wave is the perfect opportunity to spend time at home, reading a good book and eating nourishing and comforting food.

Sally Williams is not only famous for her nougat but also her cooking. One of Kim’s favourite recipes of Sally’s is her delicious roasted tomato and butternut soup. So give it a try and let us know what you think.

Sally Williams’ Roasted Butternut and Tomato Soup

Ingredients:

Olive oil spray
2 onions cut into chunks
8 plum tomatoes cut in half
1kg butternut cut into chunks
12 cloves of peeled garlic
2 teaspoons of sugar
A sprinkling of ground cinnamon
Pinch of nutmeg
2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
Seasoning
1-litre chicken or vegetable stock
½ cup of cream (you can leave out if desired)
¼ cup chopped fresh basil

Method:

Mix all the ingredients together and toss.
Place in the oven at 220 for 45 minutes until soft and browned.
Put the mixture in a bowl (scrape all the bits from the bottom of the pan) and pour over the stock and mix – then place in a liquidiser and liquidise until smooth.
Return to the pot, season and add the chopped basil.
Before serving, add the cream.
Serve hot or cold.

We have such talented authors in South Africa, and we are spoilt for choice when it comes to genres. We highly recommend Hamilton Wende’s new book, Red Air. If you would like to win a personalised copy of Red Air, please email Lyndsay@charteredwealth.co.za, and we will put you in the draw.

Red Air by Hamilton Wende

War is an ugly business, no matter which way you look at it. The fact that people profit from bloodletting is ugly. That thousands of young lives are lost, oftentimes senselessly, is ugly. And the grief of those left behind is ugly. There are no real winners in conflict, although enough movies and books would have us believe otherwise. The casualties of war mean that even if one side triumphs over another, there are still parents mourning their sons and daughters.

SA combat journalist Hamilton Wende knows this only too well, having witnessed first-hand the tragedies that can befall families when man recedes into the darkest recesses of his soul. It is the powerful theme he explores in his new novel, Red Air.

War correspondent Danny Morris has made the potentially fatal mistake of identifying in an article the hotel where he meets the son of an Afghan warlord, Azmaray Shah. Shah is a separatist who wants nothing to do with either the Taliban or the American forces in Afghanistan but views Danny’s error as treacherous. In an act of vengeance, he kidnaps the reporter’s father, Al Morris, a veteran CIA operative whose relationship with Danny soured years earlier when he walked out on the family.

Recognising that having both Danny and Al on the hook would also serve to bring the world’s attention to his political ambitions, Shah plays his hand carefully, understanding that he dare not come across as fanatical as the Taliban. Danny is required to wrestle with his conscience and assess where he might have failed in terms of the distance between him and his father.

Wende has covered conflict in Afghanistan, and knows that things are always more complex than they seem. Black-and-white perceptions of who the good and bad guys are entirely wrong since the country comprises any number of groups that carry their own views of what the country and the religion of Islam should be. His grasp of political dynamics comes across strongly in the narrative, giving authenticity to the novel. That is not to say there isn’t plenty of action.

Danny links up with a US Marines unit to rescue his father, and the fighting is bloody and frenetic. Wende’s descriptions of these scenes speak to his considerable powers as a journalist and give the book the fast-paced appeal needed to keep readers focused on the broader issues of family relationships, love and respect.

As far as modern war novels go, Red Air ranks among the more poignant.

Review by John Harvey in the Daily Dispatch

We love hearing from our Retire Successfully community, so if you have any recipes you love or books that you recommend please get in touch with us here.

My experience of the vaccine

Written by Clients in Action on June 9, 2021. Posted in Health. 1 Comment on My experience of the vaccine

Chartered client Ronelle Baker recently had her first Covid vaccine and had this to share.

If you are sixty and over and have registered on the Government vaccine site (https://vaccine.enroll.health.gov.za/#/) but have not received an “invite” to go for your vaccination, do not fret, just go to one of the many venues with your ID document and medical aid card (if you have one). You will be given the Pfizer vaccination. You will then, in about four weeks, be required to go back to the same venue for the second injection.

Esangweni CHC is the clinic in Tembisa, on Kenya Street – highly recommended; the staff are professional, friendly, willing and extremely helpful.
It looks chaotic but is very well organised. It is at the clinic, not at the hospital.
Dischem Warehouse, Midrand. Reports indicate that the queues here are long but again very well organised, and they even have a coffee station.
Discovery Sandton – this venue is only accessible if you have had an invitation to attend at a specified time and if you are a Discovery member.

By the time this is published, residents in retirement villages will also be receiving their vaccinations on site.

Please note that these tips are given from my personal perspective and are not official tips, i.e. not government or medical aid sponsored.

Keeping tabs on our physical wellbeing

Written by Lyndsay Barr on June 9, 2021. Posted in Health. 1 Comment on Keeping tabs on our physical wellbeing

I belong to a Facebook group called The Village. It’s a group aimed at parents of older children. It’s a supportive and safe space where parents can ask questions and give feedback, most importantly though it’s a place to go so you don’t feel like you are navigating parenthood alone. The Village is always a good place to gauge where people generally are on an emotional level. Recently, a question was posed to the Village asking members to describe their emotions in just one word. The answers were concerning. Deflated, broken, exhausted, overwhelmed, distraught, scared and anxious were just a few of the words used. It just goes to show that perhaps we are not ok.

If you asked me the same question, I think I would use a similar word. For this reason, I have to make a conscious effort daily to keep a firm check on my emotions, and one way to do this is by making my physical health a priority.

For many of us, we feel like we are in the movie Groundhog Day. Every single day is the same, wake up, eat, work, walk, sleep, repeat. Recently, a friend suggested we try and break the monotony by adding a new activity to our routine, so we decided to try a Nia class together. Nia is a sensory-based movement practise that draws from martial arts, dance arts and healing arts. It empowers people of all shapes and sizes by connecting the body, mind, emotions and spirit. Classes are taken barefoot to soul-stirring music. What a treat Nia has turned out to be. Once a week, we all connect through movement with a diverse group of people in terms of age and fitness level. One can’t help but walk away feeling energised and restored. Another thing I have realised through our Nia classes is how much we feed off the energy of others and how refreshing being around people is.

Walking is another practice that I try and put into my routine. I meet a friend early in the morning, a few times a week, and walk around Zoo Lake. We chose Zoo Lake because walking around and around becomes meditative in a way, and more importantly, we don’t have to navigate traffic. It allows us to be fully present in the moment and focus on each other, we really connect, and connection with people this last year has been what I have missed the most. There is also something very calming watching the mist rise off the lake and watching the ducks go about their day.

Most people have put physical self-care on the back burner since Covid, myself included. Feeling guilty initially, I decided that my aching back warranted a massage. And I am so glad I indulged in this guilty pleasure. It was pure indulgence and absolute bliss and an essential reminder that we need to listen to our bodies.

What have you been doing to keep a check on your mental and physical wellbeing? We love hearing from you, and we would appreciate you sharing your daily practices with us.

Showing up can make all the difference

Written by Kim Potgieter on May 3, 2021. Posted in Learn. 1 Comment on Showing up can make all the difference

Have you ever had a great idea? But too worried about what people may think and never shared it? Have you got a good story to tell or a dream that’s so big and daring that you’re too afraid to say it out loud? Just in case it doesn’t happen. Have you ever been in love but too nervous to say ‘I love you’ first?

My husband Gys started his business called Kuni a few years ago. He has spent his life in the woodworking industry, and apart from a small collection he sold to Tony Factor when he was a young boy, he never really launched his own collection. Kuni was his dream in the making, to design and create unique handcrafted furniture and art.

Gys grappled with the idea of launching his concept to market for a while. He kept wondering ‘what if’. What if people don’t like my designs? What if they don’t sell? What if no one ends up supporting my brand? But the most significant question Gys asked himself was ‘what if I don’t do it and never even try?’

Brené Brown’s words come to mind: Owning your story is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.

Owning your story and showing up does take courage. Let me tell you, it’s not easy putting yourself out there for the world to see. There will always be doubts and the many ‘what ifs’ will churn around in your mind. I had similar feelings when my book, Midlife Money Makeover was ready to launch. What if I get bad reviews? What if my message isn’t received favourably? What if people don’t like the book?

But what is the alternative? To keep your feelings, your words, your ideas and your dreams to yourself? Just in case people laugh at you or prove you wrong?

Did you know that Theodor Seuss Geisel, otherwise known as Dr. Seuss had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers; Albert Einstein was thought to be mentally handicapped and did not speak until the age of four, or read till the age of 7; Colonel Sanders was rejected by 1009 restaurants before one accepted his famous chicken recipe and franchise model? Thomas Edison who has 1093 patents to his name, failed over 10 000 times when trying to invent the first electric lightbulb.

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves,” says Thomas Edison.

The point is that if you are so worried about what people may think that it holds you back from doing, saying or being what’s in your heart, you may never change your worldview or the world. Think for a moment about everything you may be capable of but not doing. What are you not showing up for? What if that one idea could make all the difference?

From languishing to flourishing

Written by Lyndsay Barr on May 3, 2021. Posted in Learn. No Comments on From languishing to flourishing

Recently there was an article published in The New York Times about a collective state of being that many of us are experiencing presently, and it’s called languishing. According to the article, languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at your full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation and disrupts your ability to focus. When you are languishing, you are not depressed, but you aren’t thriving either.

So how then do we move from a state of languishing to flourishing? According to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, to flourish, we need to find our flow, a term he coined in the 1990s. He says we reach this blissful state when we find the right balance between skill and challenge. If our challenge is too great, we’ll be stressed. If the challenge is not enough, boredom kicks in. But when it’s just right, we experience “flow”. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a significant challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away.

The first thing you need to do to achieve this state is to step out of your comfort zone. Do something that’s slightly beyond your comfort zone. It needs to be challenging but not overwhelming. Something that you enjoy and requires skill. When you take on a challenge that’s manageable to you – you increase your chances of experiencing “flow”.

Another way to find your flow is to get better at something, develop an existing skill, try a new one, or take up an old one. “Flow” is very individual, so you need to find what works for you – and there are no limits. Walking, gardening, reading an academic book, yoga, or an enjoyable work project might be your thing, and all of them can promote the feeling of “flow”. Whatever appeals to you, draws you in and challenges you can help you find your “flow”.

Try and forget yourself. You may think that’s easier said than done, but it’s crucial if you want to experience “flow”. As a source of mental energy, “flow” both invigorates and motivates us so we can forget ourselves. As you immerse yourself in your activity, you’ll shut off any critical “self-talk”, niggling worries and distractions. “Flow” is about losing yourself in something that offers no tangible reward beyond the activity itself.

Finally, remember to be kind to yourself. No one has been left unscathed by the last year, and its impact on our general well-being. Focus on the small wins.

Helping aspiring entrepreneurs bring their business ideas to life

Written by Clients in Action on May 3, 2021. Posted in Learn. 2 Comments on Helping aspiring entrepreneurs bring their business ideas to life

With unemployment at an all-time high and the economic impact of Covid being felt, many people have been left with no choice but to start their own businesses. Sadly, according to statics, 50% of small businesses fail within 24 months of launch. Research done by the University of the Western Cape showed that between 70% and 80% of small businesses fail within five years. This is a significant number. One of the primary reasons small businesses fail is a lack of planning or a rock-solid business plan. What you think sounds like a good business idea on paper may not fare so well in reality. Most businesses are brought into existence for survival. The business owners simply register a company and hope everything will be fine. There is no detailed plan on how the business will be run, and there are no well-defined short-term and long-term goals. As a result, there is no understanding of costs, responsibilities, markets, funding needs, and other business requirements.

Entrepreneur and Chartered client Megan Stark and her business partner were all too aware of the challenges faced by entrepreneurs. So, with a passion for helping aspiring entrepreneurs bring their business ideas to life, Hola Business was formed. Hola Business is for any aspiring entrepreneur serious about turning their idea into a profitable business. It was developed specifically for South Africans, informed by the country’s legal, tax and business environment, and caters for all age groups.

Through 12 online modules and over 30 hours of interactive training material, users are walked through the entire business and financial planning journey. While gaining start-up skills and knowledge, they develop their own business and financial plan as they learn. The information captured by the user is automatically populated into a pre-formatted, professional business plan template which can be presented to potential investors. Some examples of the modules that users cover include: cycles of your business, from ideas to plan, business planning, financial forecasts, understanding costs, pricing for profit and marketing for start-ups.

Additionally, the course includes a fun-to-play business simulation where users can see how their decisions impact the businesses, and in doing so, they can learn and sharpen their business skills before launching their own business.

This project, finalised and launched during lockdown, is what Megan calls her passion project, and she has a deep desire to empower and help other entrepreneurs succeed. Her passion, vision and motivation, all characteristics required to be a successful entrepreneur, shine through in this project.

Midlife Money Makeover book review

Written by Clients in Action on May 3, 2021. Posted in Learn. No Comments on Midlife Money Makeover book review

In her latest book, “Midlife Money Makeover”, Kim Potgieter draws on her own experiences and those of her many clients to deliver a cohesive, easy-to-read manual on how to deal with both life and finances. I was thoroughly absorbed by the book, even though I would have to live to 140 if I am only halfway through my life.

It was a relevant reminder of the path my wife and I set out on some years ago with Kim and all the workshopping we subsequently did to map out the next stage of our lives. All the various ideas and dreams are falling into place, and some have become irrelevant. All this requires constant monitoring and updating. Being well prepared for our future has made the COVID-19 event so much easier to work through. During this time, we successfully sold our big house and have made a move into a lifestyle estate.

I am investigating mentoring people starting their own businesses and dealing with the daily challenges and reinventions. A path has opened up to do this, and despite being a little afraid of the idea, Kim’s book has given me many pointers as to how to set about this task. I think her programme can be used whenever a big change is made and would recommend her book to anyone starting out on a new adventure.

Written by Dick Binge

Dreams can come true

Written by Kim Potgieter on March 29, 2021. Posted in Play. No Comments on Dreams can come true

You are never too young or too old to create joy in your life. Ariel in The Little Mermaid said, “Who says my dreams have to stay just my dreams?” And she’s right! There’s a certain magic sharing your dreams with someone special, and chances are that if you plan your dreams together, they may just come true in spectacular princess style!

This year, a special friend and I decided to celebrate our birthdays together with an intimate group of friends and family. We both love the magic and joy of birthdays and to make the most of this occasion, we decided on a princess themed party. I really missed not throwing a bold and extravagant party with my trademark ‘more is more’ and ‘bolder is better’ approach last year. Back then, we were in level 5 of lockdown, so my birthday dream turned into a wish that I’m making come true this year.

Dreams don’t have to stay wishes forever, but you may have to put them on hold sometimes. Cinderella had it right when she said: “If you dream a thing more than once, it’s sure to come true.” We may not all be princesses, but every girl deserves a princess party at least once in her lifetime!

Planning my birthday is often the best part. And planning a princess party is so much fun! We will be setting up a delicious candy stand and I even got to choose a magnificent regal crown for the special day! Moana said: “If I go, there’s just no telling how far I’ll go,” and in true Moana style, we are going all out!

Joy is contagious! Creating joy very often leads to more happiness! Have you ever noticed how good it feels to give? So I’ve decided to put another joyous plan in action for Easter. I will be doing a fun-filled Easter egg hunt for my children and their friends (the youngest being fifteen.) They will be going on a scavenger hunt in search of lost treasure on the beach.

It really has not been an easy or cheerful year so far, and it is tough to lighten up. We may not have much to laugh about, but research has shown that laughter has far-ranging health benefits and it’s a great tool to manage stress. It’s also contagious. Snow White told the Seven Dwarfs that “you are the only one that can fill the world with sunshine,” and I agree. Creating and planning for joy and sharing the fun and laughter gives everyone something to look forward to!

I would love to hear your ideas on how to spread joy and laughter in our daily lives.

Every sprinkle of fairy dust makes a difference and may just make another dream come true!

Bringing some fun back into our lives

Written by Lyndsay Barr on March 29, 2021. Posted in Play. 1 Comment on Bringing some fun back into our lives

One of the things that we seem to be collectively missing at the moment is a lack of joy and fun. In a world of horrific events discussed every five minutes on the television, radio newspapers and social media, it’s no wonder so many people are struggling to find joy and have fun when the state of the world is as it is. As hard as it is, it is at times like these that we need to view life from a new perspective and to not let outside circumstances, the media and other people’s negative attitudes affect us in our daily lives.

As an adult, you have every right to enjoy yourself. In fact, adults need to play. As George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Back when we were children, this experience of pure delight didn’t have to come from a heightened event for us to feel like our day had been made. Pure fun happens when we are fully engaged with ourselves and our world in each moment. It is the spontaneous delight that bubbles out of us when we let go long enough to bring it through. Approach your life today with the knowledge that pure fun isn’t something that is given or done to you; rather, it is something that you allow yourself to experience.

So how then do we bring fun back into our lives?

Set the Goal of Playing More. Start by setting a goal to have more fun. When we think of setting goals we usually think of serious things, such as saving more money, eating healthier or exercising more often. However, the goal of having more fun is just as important as those more serious-sounding goals.

Define what fun looks like for you. A lot of the time adults can’t even remember what they like to do. Or maybe they’ve outgrown the things that they liked to do in the past and they haven’t gotten around to identifying new things that they enjoy. If this is you, sit down and make a list of the things that you enjoyed doing in your youth. Then, go over your list and highlight those things that still sound appealing. Google is a wonderful resource and if you are stuck for ideas try googling “fun ideas for adults”.

Set a fun minimum and put it in your schedule. Just as you tell yourself that you’re going to exercise for at least half-an-hour a day, tell yourself that you’re also going to do something fun for at least half-an-hour-a-day. It’s important to schedule it in your diary because if you don’t schedule it in it’s unlikely to happen.

Create a play drawer. In her book “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy,” Sarah Ban Breathnach recommends creating a drawer to “stockpile small indulgences.” This drawer could contain anything that brings you joy. Popular items include colouring books for adults, board games and puzzles.

Spend time with a fun friend. Whether it is online or in-person, the people you spend time with will have an enormous impact on your life. If you need to relearn how to relax, be more spontaneous, laugh more, and simply be more willing to play, look for someone who’s already doing these things. Then, follow their lead.

We would love to hear how you are finding ways to have fun, so please share your stories with us. Most importantly, remember to never stop finding joy!

Our Route 62 motorbike road trip from 20 February to 6 March 2021

Written by Clients in Action on March 29, 2021. Posted in Play. 2 Comments on Our Route 62 motorbike road trip from 20 February to 6 March 2021

Route 62 is an inland tarred route between Port Elizabeth and Cape Town that offers a scenic and interesting alternative to the traditional N2 highway that is further South and follows some of the coastline. Route 62 promotes associations with the legendary Route 66 in the USA which was built in 1926 to connect Chicago and Los Angeles. Route 62 (the red line in the map below) covers around 1000 km of mountains, fertile valleys and semi-desserts, ensuring an experience that leaves those who have travelled it with special memories. As Route 62 tends to be a bucket-list trip for many South Africans, particularly those who ride motorbikes, I had been wanting to arrange a bike road trip of this area for years.

Our 15-day Route 62 motorbike trip was originally planned for April 2020, but Covid-19 unfortunately scuppered those dates. We therefore had to postpone it to February and March this year (2021) and in the end a small group of four of us did the whole trip – Avril, Anton, Grant and I. When we do such long bike trips, we try to stay off the main N routes and we typically plan the route to cover an average distance of around 350 to 400 km per day, as this is easily done and is not too tiring. In addition, we do these trips outside school holidays and we normally do not book accommodation in advance, but rather look online for accommodation for the night when we stop for lunch or for something to drink in the afternoon. Doing it this way gives us flexibility and means that we do not need to add “rest days” along the way. It also means that if we get stuck somewhere due to bad weather or some other delay, we can usually catch up by increasing the distance ridden over the next day or two. Having done quite a few two-week bike trips in SA and overseas, we have never battled to find accommodation and the places where we have stayed have seldom been disappointing. Another advantage is that one sometimes finds special last-minute rates when booking on the day.

As is generally the case when riding or driving just about anywhere from Gauteng, the first day is somewhat boring and the scenery only really improves from the second day. Our first day was planned to take us from Gauteng to Bultfontein, but we missed a turnoff to Wesselsbron somewhere after Bothaville and ended up in Odendaalsrus, where we had lunch. We looked online and decided to change our plans and to rather stay on a farm called Die Kuirhuis B&B outside Ventersburg. This was reached via a roughly 14 km dirt road that was a bit tricky on road bikes with road tyres, but we all managed to get there without falling off our bikes. The accommodation was nice and the owners were very friendly and hospitable. We had a lovely “Boerekos” supper there and an equally good breakfast the following morning.

Day 2 took us from Ventersburg to Bethulie via Bloemfontein and Phillipolis, staying off the N1 as far as possible. Our overnight stop was at the Royal Hotel in Bethulie, which is a unique and quirky hotel with literally thousands of LPs and books lining most of the walls in all areas except the actual rooms.

The third day took us from Bethulei to Graaf-Reinet, via the Gariep Dam which was still overflowing after the recent good rains. We stayed overnight at the Roode Bloem Farm House, which is a lovely old house on a farm about 10 km before Graaff-Reinet. One advantage of staying outside the towns is that the stars are so much brighter than when in the cities. The Milky Way is so clear that it seems that you can reach out and touch it and one can see lots of satellites on clear nights.

Day 4 was from Graaff-Reinet to Prince Albert, via Meiringspoort which is absolutely stunning.

Our route for the fifth day was from Prince Albert via the Swartberg Pass to Barrydale. The Swartberg Pass was probably the most impressive of the many great passes we did on this trip and the scenery was amazing. The dirt road had recently been worked on and was in excellent condition. Barrydale is a lovely little town and we found really nice accommodation at Doorways. If you are ever in Barrydale, I can highly recommend that you spend the night there, followed by breakfast at The Diesel and Crème Diner.

Day 6 took us from Barrydale to Riebeek Kasteel, which is another lovely town we stayed in. Luis, an old friend of Grant’s and mine who lives in Cape Town, met up with us along the way and joined us until the next afternoon.

The seventh day was from Riebeek Kasteel to Darling (where we met up with Darryl, another mate of ours, for lunch at The Darling Brewery), Paternoster and then to Langebaan. This day also included us seeing the sea for the first time on this trip.

The route on day 8 was from Langebaan to Kleinmond and included several road passes and amazing scenery. My brother, Guy, rode through from Stellenbosch on his restored 1958 Vespa and joined us in Gordon’s Bay. We then rode the 50 km to Kleinmond against some serious headwinds which were a bit of a battle on the Vespa. This was followed by a lovely supper at KabelJoe’s Seafood Restaurant that night.

Guy left us on the morning of day 9 – he went back to Stellenbosch – and we then headed from Kleinmond to Barrydale, via Cape Agulhas. We had intended staying over in Swellendam but decided to go back to Doorways in Barrydale when we realised how close it was and as they again had rooms for us.

Day 10 took us from Barrydale to Wilderness, doing several more lovely passes along the way.

The eleventh day started with the amazing Seven Passes Road (more info below) from George to Knysna, milkshakes at Marilyn’s Diner near Storms River and on to Port Elizabeth.

The route for day 12 was from Port Elizabeth to Elliot and we stayed at The Mountain Shadows Hotel which is on the road from Elliot to Barkly East. We were then getting close to the Drakenberg Mountains, the scenery was spectacular and the hotel was very nice.

Day 13 was from Elliot to Bulwer. Although there were some nice and scenic stretches, most of the day was spent riding through sprawling settlements and some towns that have sadly really deteriorated over the past 20 or 30 years. If I ever do a similar trip again, I will look for an alternative route from Elliot.

The fourteenth day – from Bulwer to Fouriesburg – included the Midlands Meander (R103) which is very pretty with lots of places to stop, Oliviershoek Pass and the beauty of the Golden Gate National Park. We stayed at the Sandstone Chameleon Guest house in Fouriesburg, which I can highly recommend. If you are ever in the Clarens area for a night, rather stay at Sandstone Chameleon in Fouriesburg. There are some lovely places to eat at in the town and you can then take the lovely and scenic 35 km road to Clarens the next day.

Our last day was getting home from Fouriesburg and once again meant that the scenery would unfortunately be getting boring, the closer we got to Gauteng. Having said that, we rode past many farms with good crops getting ready for harvesting.

The only “trouble” we had on the trip was a rear wheel puncture Grant had in Underberg on day 13. We were fortunately just arriving in the town when he discovered it – his bike has tyre pressure sensors and these alert you before you feel it. He fortunately had a puncture repair kit with him, which he used to plug the hole very quickly and he did not have any further problems with it on the trip.

The above is but a taste of the trip, which we all thoroughly enjoyed. The company was great, the scenery was amazing and most of the roads were good. If you have any urge to do a road trip, be it by car or (preferably) by motorbike, do yourself a favour and do Route 62. You won’t be sorry.

You’re not imagining it

Written by Kim Potgieter on February 28, 2021. Posted in Learn. 15 Comments on You’re not imagining it

Do you wake up some mornings wondering or, perhaps hoping, that you’re waking up from a bad dream? I have been feeling like this a lot lately. Waking up and realising that this is another day where Covid is real and coming to terms with my emotions has become a morning ritual.

I have been feeling lost emotionally. And for me, this is hard. I write and teach about the importance of naming the emotion so that you can connect with grief and move through it. And here I was, feeling numb, almost like someone switched on the dimmer switch to all my emotions.

I reached out to a friend who understood that I needed to name the emotion, and she explained the term ambiguous loss to me. It is not something you imagine at all!

Ambiguous loss feels uncertain, is without closure and clear understanding. It does not have defined boundaries; it is not a black and white event. You may be grieving for someone physically present but psychologically absent in your life (as in dementia, or so overwhelmed with stress and anxiety that they are incapable of connecting with you). Or you may mourn for someone who is physically absent but psychologically present (such as missing the people you love due to Covid restrictions, confinement to your home or living with someone who is autistic or a drug addict).

I suspect we are all grieving for the people absent in our lives but still a part of it. We are emotionally exhausted and drained, and very often, we mourn in isolation. We are unsure about what tomorrow will bring. Will we test positive for Covid? What if someone we love does? What does all this mean for our economy? It is hard to find the love, joy and belonging that we crave as humans.

This type of loss is hard to explain and even harder to heal from. If you can’t name it for what it is, you are left searching for answers, and because you are not really sure what or who you are grieving for, the healing process takes so much longer.

So let’s name it for what it is – you may also be experiencing ambiguous loss. I have felt a tremendous sense of relief to know that there is a name for what I was feeling. I was not imagining the sense of unease and the urge to numb the pain I was feeling. The problem is that if you numb the pain, the joyful moments are also less wonderous.

What has helped me is to become more conscious of finding my daily joy. You have to physically stop, pause for a moment, and take in the joyfulness. In this newsletter, Claire Holden shares a wonderful exercise on finding our joyful moments.
I find my peace and enjoyment in my garden, looking at my beautiful roses or sitting at the fish pond watching the Koi fish. My morning run has become my tonic for the day and, every time I’m able to connect with a friend face-to-face outdoors, my happiness index rises a couple of notches. As a family, we celebrated with lots of smiles and happiness when, after two operations and many treatments, my husband Gys’s cancer biopsies were negative. We have three stress-free months before we have to go for another check-up.

You are not imagining how you’re feeling, but you are not alone. Let’s spread some joy and love together.

Get Journaling

Written by Lyndsay Barr on February 28, 2021. Posted in Learn. No Comments on Get Journaling

Soon it will be a year since life as we knew it changed, and many of us are feeling that we are missing out on our lives. Some days feel endlessly long and it is hard to see any silver linings. Sometimes we have to consciously remind ourselves to be grateful and to find joy in everyday life, and a great way of doing this is through the process of journaling.

Journaling has been found to have numerous positive benefits. For example, It makes us more self-aware and allows us to identify unhealthy patterns in our thoughts and behaviours. This gives us greater control over our lives and can help us shift from a negative mindset to a more positive one, especially about ourselves. It reduces stress and anxiety as it provides a space to write about your emotional responses to events that have happened throughout the day as a way of coping with stress and anxiety. This can help you to process what you are feeling and perhaps even explore more positive reframing options. Because we’re getting things out of our head and onto a piece of paper, it increases working memory, this works together to improve sleep.

Journaling has health benefits too as it improves the immune system and strengthens immune cells. Studies have shown it reduces symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis and one study showed that expressive writing (journaling) for only 15-20 minutes a day 3 – 5 times over the course of a 4-month period was enough to lower blood pressure and improve liver function! Journaling uses the analytical, rational left side of the brain and the creative, emotional right side of the brain. This helps promote creativity, problem-solving and improves our sense of wellbeing.

If you are considering journaling but don’t know where to begin, a gratitude journal is a good place to start. It is as simple as getting a notebook and starting to write down three things each day that you’re grateful for. Gratitude journaling shifts our attention from what is wrong to what is right. It encourages us to focus on the things that are going well and the positives that each day brings regardless of the challenges that might come with it. What we focus on we find, so this simple tool really does work to reprogram the brain to look for the positive.

Another way to start is to complete the 50 Things that Make me Happy exercise developed by Claire Holden. This exercise allows us to reflect on the things that make us happy – not just the big exciting things like overseas holidays or special treats but, more importantly perhaps, the little everyday things too. It may be the sound of birdsong or the feel of sunshine on your face. As you begin to reflect and record theses small moments of happiness you will become more conscious of them. As this consciousness increases so too will your conscious moments of happiness each day.

If you would like help in kickstarting your journaling journey we recommend you sign up here for Claire’s free 20-minute online course as an introduction to the Joy of Journaling available through her ‘Be A Better Human’ online learning platform.

Remember that journaling is for you, so don’t preoccupy yourself with managing perfect punctuation, grammar or spelling. Just write and don’t censor yourself. There is a beautiful quote by Mina Murray that sums it up best. “Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”

Extracts from an (Eventless) Diary

Written by Expert Visitor on February 28, 2021. Posted in Learn. 4 Comments on Extracts from an (Eventless) Diary

DAY A

Big discussions in our house today. Kev (my hubby) who has not been at work since the initial lockdown in March, was asked to return to his GP practice. None of the circumstances have changed – he remains a 77 year old diabetic in the times of Covid. If anything, things have got worse. But, here’s the rub. Is it better to take a calculated risk and do the thing you love or stay at home unfulfilled but safe? There are so many people out there who need him for check-ups, script repeats etc. He isn’t in the frontline where exposure is unrelenting. It took him less than 5 minutes to make the decision to return to work and his beloved patients. I was not best pleased, but for selfish reasons, because now I would also become more exposed, but on reflection I was proud of the decision. We aren’t going to live forever and isn’t it better to be able to be a meaningful contributor to the well-being of others rather than ossify in isolation?

DAY B

I have made an exciting discovery! I think I have found a new psychological disorder which I have named “Justitis.” I was the only lab rat during the observation period. These are my findings. If I have an early morning appointment (I often am on the golf course before seven), then the symptoms don’t kick in, but if there are no commitments, then “Justitis” displays its scary symptoms with gay abandon. Let me explain. I’ll get up and go to the bathroom. Thereafter, the disorder wreaks havoc with my day. On my way to the kitchen to make my cappuccino, I have to pass my study so I say to myself “I’ll just check my e-mails”. Half an hour later, I make my coffee but then I open a cupboard which “just” needs a bit of cleaning. Then I notice my plants look a bit wilted and “just” need a quick watering. And so it goes. By the time I have “just” done this and that it is midday and I am still unwashed and in my pyjamas. My brain seems to have lost its ability to prioritise! I have spoken to some of my friends who were delighted at my confession because they too suffer from the same malady to a greater or lesser extent.

DAY C

To my shock and horror I seem to have developed the habit of speaking to myself OUT LOUD! I often find myself saying “I could swear I put my cell phone on this table.” Of course it isn’t there and no amount of oath taking will make it miraculously appear on the table, but I do it anyway. Thankfully I have a pinging thing on my watch to pinpoint my phone’s location. But not all of my “lost” items have this advantage, so I spend a large portion of my day trying to find misplaced thigs. Can you imagine how “Justitis” thrives then?

DAY D

I don’t think my hearing is bad at all but I really struggle to hear what callers are saying on talk radio. 702 used to be my go to station but now I just get so frustrated because I am only hearing one side of a conversation. Also I am tired of political debates and the state of the nation shenanigans. There is an adage that when one door closes, another will open. Now am happily listening to Classic FM which is really weird for me because I have always been more of a pop adherent. I think I made an early association between classical music and sadness so I have been working hard at reconditioning myself. Surprisingly I actually recognise a lot of the music but find it hard to connect tunes with names if there are no words. Maybe I have finally grown up! Bit of a late bloomer perhaps?

Learning another language

Written by Peter Schoon on February 28, 2021. Posted in Learn. No Comments on Learning another language

It has been my dream/desire/wish to learn to speak isiZulu, this for several reasons, a few of which I mention here…

I know that as one gets older, our old brain cells slow down/die; one of the ways of retarding that process is to learn another language – old dogs apparently can learn new tricks!
My wife Michelle and I recently moved to KZN; it makes sense therefore if I was to learn a new language that isiZulu should be the one.
I believe that one of the ways to bridge the racism gap in SA is to learn ‘the other’ person’s language – it not only shows enormous respect to the recipient, but also commands it.

So I did some internet research (yep even I can) and found an excellent qualified Zulu teacher called Bryan; he has moved from KZN to Vietnam of all places (the joys of ZOOM)! He is also fluent in Afrikaans, French and Spanish and is currently learning Vietnamese while teaching English there. Most impressive!

My question to him was “How have you learnt so many languages and yet you are not even 40?” Bryan’s methodology (and what he uses/employs with me) he explained, is called Comprehensive Input (CI) – and I quote:

“Comprehensible Input is meaningful, compelling interaction in the target language which is the KEY to acquisition. It’s the way language gets language into heads, and stays there so that eventually it will be used it to communicate.”

Simply put CI means: dedicated and regular hours to ‘hearing’ – Bryan has given me many links to Zulu movies, narrated stories with pictures; to ‘reading’ – I buy the local Zulu Newspaper once a month plus Bryan sends me more reading; to ‘speaking’ – wherever possible I speak to Zulu folk e.g. at the garage, at the shops, with the gardener, with security guards… explaining that I am learning. Everyone helps!

What joy – not the old classroom method of laborious grammar classes, although some grammar has to be explained during ‘class’ time with Bryan.

Living in the Present

Written by Kim Potgieter on January 22, 2021. Posted in Health. 5 Comments on Living in the Present

Thinking back, 2020 has certainly taught us to be resilient and adaptable. I am sure that many people opted to change their holiday arrangements in light of the Covid resurgence and closed beaches.

Our family holiday was to be in Knysna. We actually drove as far as Port Elizabeth, but after the President’s family meeting on the 14th of December, decided it was perhaps not the best idea to spend time in such a popular and populated destination. Johannesburg seemed a much safer bet and we spent a wonderful Christmas at home.

After Christmas and much consideration, we all agreed as a family, that the Kruger National Park would be the ideal getaway in a safe, open-air environment. We were so sure that we had made the right decision for a low-risk Covid exposure, surrounded by the African bush and immersed in nature.

Things don’t always go as planned and we have just emerged from 14 days of isolation. My son Josh tested positive for Covid while we were in the bush. You just never know!

Having a child with Covid – or any family member, friend, colleague or client – is hard. You are constantly anxious about their health and your own. Josh worried that he would pass it on to us, and we worried about him. So many thoughts whirl through your head: what if I have it; what if I pass it on unknowingly; am I doing the right thing?

In this time, I have learnt that it is so important to control your thoughts. My recurring thoughts was thinking about the past, “I wish we had …” or “I wish we could go back to the way things were.” Some of my thoughts dwelled in the future, and I kept asking myself “what if” while at the same time trying to guess what may or may not happen.

What really helped me cope and manage my emotions, was to stay in the present. Being present, in the given moment, means that you let go of the past, and stop worrying about the future. All you have, at this moment, is this time. Focus on what is happening right now. Make every moment your priority and don’t let it slip by you unnoticed.

By focusing on the present, I was able to cancel out most of the noise in my head. It gave me peace knowing that I was celebrating each present moment instead of worrying about the past or the future. I know this is not always possible, and it’s certainly not easy. Our minds are wired for flight or fight – an automatic physiological reaction to stressful events. But we owe it to ourselves to try.

Support and be kind to yourself during this process. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can. If possible, find ways to quiet the thoughts in your head – I like to focus on my breathing and meditation is also a good tool. Some people immerse themselves in their senses. Whatever works for you, remind yourself, as often as you need, that each moment is a gift. A gift that is worth living.

Wishing you all many happy, healthy and peaceful moments this year!

The best-laid plans go awry

Written by Lyndsay Barr on January 22, 2021. Posted in Health. 1 Comment on The best-laid plans go awry

Not one of us can say we were left unscathed by the events of 2020, and most of us breathed a collective sigh of relief as December rolled closer and holidays and time with family and a much -needed break loomed nearer. And then the Covid cases spiked, holidays were cancelled, and family gatherings were postponed.

My family were the same. We cancelled seeing my parents at Christmas as well as our holiday to Knysna. We wanted to avoid contracting Covid at all costs. As Robert Burns said, “the best -laid plans of mice and men often go awry,” and shortly after a very low-key new year I found myself struggling to breathe and experiencing fevers like I have never experienced in my life. A Covid test confirmed my suspicions. The two weeks I spent in bed are a blur. I seemed to go from one fever to the next. I got very ill, and it happened very quickly.

It was at night though when I really felt anxious as I struggled to breathe. Things seem so much scarier in the dark of night, and I was left feeling completely vulnerable. And the lack of touch, not being able to hug my husband and children, that was the hardest thing for me. I am so grateful to my family and friends who really supported me through, and I found these practical examples of support so helpful.

Music
I am a big fan of music; I listen to it all day while I work. A few of my friends each made me playlists to help me calm down when I thought I couldn’t breathe. The playlists ranged from classical music to meditative yoga music. One friend made me a playlist of all our old favourites that we used to party to when we were younger. It brought a huge smile to my face and I really appreciated this gesture.
Dropping off meals
My husband was left in charge of the household and he did a great job of shopping, cooking, and keeping the household going, but he was very worried and distracted, so it was a welcome relief when friends dropped off meals. My one friend was away so she arranged delivery of a chicken pie from Vicky Sleet catering, which according to my family is the world’s most delicious chicken pie. I mostly declined offers of meals from friends, but in hindsight, I am glad they ignored me and brought meals anyway.
Voice notes, messages and funny memes
Each morning and throughout the day I received voice notes, messages and funny memes from my friends. These were a welcome relief, and a break from the world of Covid. It was a nice distraction to know what was going on in the world outside.

So, if you do have friends or family members who have Covid try one of the above suggestions. You can be rest assured that the gestures will be hugely appreciated. And if you have been ill and were supported in a particular way by family and friends let us know, as we are always looking for suggestions as to how best support each other.

Making 2021 your best year ever

Written by RS Editor on January 22, 2021. Posted in Health. No Comments on Making 2021 your best year ever

Forbes recently published an article on 10 tips to being happier and making 2021 your best year ever. We thought they were very useful tips and answering the question at the end of each tip allows you to pause and reflect and gain some perspective on the year that was.

Focus on the upside of a downside situation. When there are so many incidences of devastation, fear and heartbreak, it’s natural to focus on the downside of the pandemic. But we can balance that out with how it’s brought people together, volunteering and helping one another and strengthening the whole idea of collective selflessness. What upsides can you name?
Pinpoint the opportunity in the difficulty. Ask, “How can I make this situation work to my advantage? Can I find something positive in it? What can I manage or overcome in this instance?” During the pandemic, for example, we can use times of self-isolation for self-reflection and think about the direction we want to take in the new year. What opportunities do you see?
Frame 2020 as a lesson to learn, not misery to endure. Ask what you can learn from the difficulties of 2020 and use them as stepping-stones, instead of roadblocks. Think of the adversities of 2020 as happening for you instead of to you. If you consider this perspective less taken, what has 2020 taught you that you can take into 2021?
Practice gratitude. Look beyond the fear, loss and disappointment at the big picture. Take an inventory of your life and include all the things the pandemic prevented you from doing that you once took for granted. And consider all the people and things in your life that you’re grateful for, letting gratitude steer you beyond the gloom and doom. What are you grateful for?
Be chancy. Take small risks in new situations instead of predicting negative outcomes before giving them a try. “If I ask for a shot at the promotion, my boss might laugh in my face” becomes “If I ask for a shot at the promotion, my boss might think I have guts and ambition.” How can you stick your neck out at work in the new year?
Avoid blowing a situation out of proportion. Don’t let one negative experience rule your whole outlook: “I was supposed to get a promotion until the pandemic; now that everything’s on hold, I’ll never advance in my career” becomes “Things are on hold for a while, but nothing lasts forever and there will be other pathways to success.” What limiting situations can you minimise and overcome in 2021?
Focus on the solution, not the problem. You’ll feel more empowered to cope with pandemic curve balls when you step back from the problem and brainstorm a wide range of possibilities. Your negativity bias will direct you to zoom in and focus on the problem. But when you broaden your perspective, your wide-angle lens will help you see potential in the big picture. What possibilities do you see for 2021?
Practice positive self-talk. During tough times, be as kind to yourself as you would your best friend. Underscore your triumphs. Replace bludgeoning yourself and using put-downs and criticisms with the practice of self-compassion. Affirm positive feedback instead of letting it roll over your head. Give yourself “atta-boys” or “atta-girls.” Throw modesty out the window and remind yourself of all your personal resources. What are your strengths?
Practice Solitude. Solitude is good for the soul. It takes you out of the rat race for a while, gives you a bird’s-eye view of your daily life and replaces chaos with serenity. Spend a minimum of five minutes a day alone. Meditate, pray, practice yoga or contemplate nature and connect with something larger than yourself for inspiration and peace of mind. What type of solitude can you practice?
See a fresh start contained in loss. Every loss contains a gain, but you have to look for it. Every time you get up just one more time than you fall, you increase the likelihood of scaling hard times. Baseball great Babe Ruth said, “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” What endings in 2020 contain new beginnings in 2021?

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RECIPE

BOOK REVIEW & COMPETITION

1. Getting Comfortable with not knowing

2. Comma or full stop?

3. Collateral beauty versus Collateral damage

RECIPE

BOOK REVIEW & COMPETITION

Sally Williams’ Roasted Butternut and Tomato Soup

Red Air by Hamilton Wende

DAY A

DAY B

DAY C

DAY D

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