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Author: Kim Potgieter

Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Purpose. 6 Comments on Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Have you ever had a dream—something you’ve always wanted to do but hesitated to pursue, afraid you might fail? Or perhaps you were too afraid to share, worried you may not succeed. For me, that dream was running the Berlin Marathon. Two years ago, I put it on my vision board and called it my “Wildly Improbable Dream.” It wasn’t just about the race—it was about pushing my limits and proving that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

In September this year, my dream came true. At the age of 56, I ran through the streets of Berlin in one of the largest marathons in the world. The joy on my face tells the story! Every photo along the route shows a beaming smile, no matter how tired I felt. But dreams aren’t supposed to be easy. As Kahlil Gibran said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” The resilience it took to keep going when the road got tough made this dream even more meaningful.

Here are the lessons I learned from chasing my dream:

The first step was knowing why I wanted to do this. Sure, I wanted to test my limits, but it was more than that. This dream allowed me to combine all my greatest loves: running, travelling, and learning. Along the way, I explored beautiful cities across Europe, learned new recipes at Toscana Saporita in Tuscany, and took in the sights of Italy—a true celebration of everything that brings me joy.

Small steps, big gains
The secret to success? Consistency. I learned from Atomic Habits that improving by just 1% every day adds up to being 37 times better over time. So, I stuck to my running schedule, rain or shine. I consistently got up early and pushed through tough days—even when life tried to get in the way.

Setbacks aren’t stop signs
Of course, setbacks happen. After Covid, I had complications with my heart rate that I monitored closely throughout training. And getting into the marathon wasn’t easy either. After trying and failing to register through the organisers, the lottery, travel agents, and charities, I nearly gave up. But my support group encouraged me to try one last time, and miraculously, a spot opened, and I finally got my chance.

Your support system is everything
The night before the marathon, fear crept in. I was nervous—what if I couldn’t do it? But then came the messages from my sons, Josh and Ryan, and from my friends and Gabi, all cheering me on. Their encouragement made such a difference. As I stood at the starting line, tears in my eyes, I knew I wasn’t doing this alone. Their support carried me, step by step.

Have fun
When the whistle blew, I reminded myself of something important—I wasn’t just here to run; I was here to enjoy every minute. I kept my pace steady, only walking through the water stations, and savoured every moment. That feeling of joy and pride has stuck with me since.

One dream leads to another
Achieving a wildly improbable dream gives you a sense of limitless possibility. Once you’ve crossed that finish line, it feels like no challenge is too great, no goal too far out of reach. You start believing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid to fail? Chase your wildly improbable dream with all your heart!

A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Purpose. 2 Comments on A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

“What now?” is a thought that has been on my mind a lot this year as I navigate my empty nest. My role as a mother has changed – it’s different now – but there’s a space that I need to fill with something else. I have been exploring new challenges and embracing new opportunities that push me to grow, and what I’ve learnt in this process is that stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t just require courage – it might also take a little bit of luck.

Running in the Berlin Marathon has been on my vision board for the past two years. It was meant to be a gift to myself during this empty nest year, but it has made me question my gift-giving capabilities. This gift has sometimes felt more like a punishment – just over 42km of running is no walk in the park! But there’s something about the challenge that has drawn me in. I’m spending hours training and cultivating the habit of running, and one of the pros of this time on the road is that it gives me time to think. I’ve learnt the art of perseverance and patience, but I’ve also come to realise that a sprinkle of luck can change everything.

Entry into the Berlin Marathon is via a lottery system, which I duly entered at the end of last year but didn’t get in. Very disappointed but still determined, I turned to other ways to gain entry, charities and travel agencies, with no luck. Just as I thought the dream was slipping through my fingers, a spot opened – as if the universe was giving me a nudge. Out of the blue, I received the message: I could participate.

Sometimes, the best-laid plans need a little help from the unpredictable forces of life. You can prepare, train, and do everything right, but outcomes are not always in our control. Morgan Housel beautifully writes in The Psychology of Money: “Luck and risk are both the reality that every outcome in life is guided by forces other than individual effort…The accidental impact of actions outside of your control can be more consequential than the ones you consciously take.”

It’s not that effort doesn’t matter; it’s just that life, with its infinite moving parts, has a way of surprising us. The key is to keep showing up and putting yourself out there – even if success isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, that little bit of luck makes all the difference.

Our very own Olympic medallist, Tatjana Smith, embodies this idea perfectly. After winning her gold and silver medals, she said something that stuck with me: “On any other day, any other swimmer could have taken gold. We are not better than each other; that day was just my day.”

This isn’t to say we must depend on luck alone. It’s a reminder that when you dare to try something new, you may be surprised at how the stars can sometimes align in your favour. Preparing for the Berlin Marathon has taught me never to say “I can’t” and to challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. It’s also taught me to leave a little space for luck.

So, don’t be afraid to take the leap. Yes, there will be bumps along the way. Sometimes, things won’t go as planned. But keep showing up. Keep saying yes to new experiences. And who knows? With a bit of perseverance and maybe even a dash of luck, you might find yourself achieving something you never thought possible.

Your Lifeline – The Rest is Still Unwritten

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Relationships. No Comments on Your Lifeline – The Rest is Still Unwritten

By now, we are well-acquainted with the notion that nothing in life is constant except for change (and taxes, of course!). While it’s tax season, don’t worry, that’s not the focus today. Instead, I want to talk about the kind of change that transforms your life and demands that you reassess your path forward.

I recently presented a workshop where I shared my insights from Chip Conley’s Learning to Love Midlife course. What struck me about this phase of life, which Conley suggests can last up to the age of 75 – or even longer – is how many transitions we navigate. It’s rarely just one change at a time – but a convergence of many shifts all at once. Many participants struggled with significant transitions intertwined with unexpected changes and emotional turmoil. These ranged from relocation and relationship changes to physical and psychological challenges, losing loved ones, changes in how we approach work, and often, a deep search for meaning and purpose.

Navigating difficult situations

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by a transition, as if you’re drowning in doubt and uncertainty – wishing someone would throw you a lifeline? The good news is that you have your very own lifeline – filled with the lessons and wisdom you’ve accumulated and applied throughout your life. Imagine your life as an unwritten book, with each new day offering a blank page waiting for your mark. Your past experiences provide the inspiration to write your future, helping you navigate the complexities and challenges of trying times. Of course, music can also be a great companion for finding solace.

Drawing your Lifeline

To give you an idea of what this exercise is about, here is a snapshot of the most recent part of mine. It involves reflecting on your life so far and identifying the stories that shaped who you are today. Include all the key moments of your life, from birth to the present day. Everything above the middle line represents high points, and everything below the line represents low points that made you feel unhappy or challenged.

Reflect on your Lifeline

What lessons can you take from your timeline?
Are there any significant themes?
What (and who) helped you through your lows; what (and who) supported you during your highs?
What strengths did you find to help you through your lows?
Is there anything you could or would have done differently, knowing what you know now?
Can you document all the lessons and wisdom you have gained?

Embrace your Inner Strengths

When I look at my lifeline, I reflect on what each story is teaching me and what I can learn from every transition. I consider the strengths that helped me through previous difficult situations and think about how I can draw on those strengths now. It’s often your inner strength that pulls you through.

I do believe that things happen for a reason and that the story of your life is a powerful teacher. And then there’s always music! In times of change, I often turn to music. Natasha Bedingfield’s song Unwritten reminds me that there are always ways to find comfort and strength in the unwritten possibilities ahead.

I hope the lifeline exercise benefits you as much as it’s helping me right now. If you’re looking for a song to draw, reflect on, and work to, here’s a link to Unwritten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI

What’s missing in your health routine?

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. No Comments on What’s missing in your health routine?

Check-in with your check-ups

During my time with Chip Conley at his Learning to Love Midlife workshop at the Modern Elder Academy (MEA), I realised that I may still have half my life ahead of me. At 55, it’s certainly not the time to start thinking about slowing down or stepping back. I have more life left than I thought! But it also made me realise that it was time to check in with my health.

Am I keeping fit? Check. I’m running half marathons and train regularly.
Am I eating healthy? Check. Apart from my sugar cravings, I do my best.
Do I have any outstanding medical check-ups? No.
How am I doing emotionally and mentally? I’m doing the best I can. Midlife can get messy, and with so many changes to navigate in this “messy middle” part of my life, the one thing I can do is make sure I take time out when I need to – to reflect, do the introspection, be grateful and be open to embracing wisdom and intuition.

So, what part of my health have I neglected? My teeth.

I needed braces as a child, but as my dad did not have medical aid, it was never an option. As an adult, getting braces was also never a priority for me (I was never going to be that beauty queen with perfect teeth anyway!) Now, in my mid-50s, the dentists tell me that the overcrowding in my mouth could cause my bite to go out of alignment if left untreated. I wish I’d known earlier in my life that braces are not just for aesthetic reasons. One of the most important reasons for getting braces is to correct your ‘bite’ and ensure the long-term health of your teeth.

Honestly, it’s hard getting braces in your 50s. Not only has the first week been extremely painful, but it’s also a mental adjustment that I need to make. Holistic health means looking after every part of our bodies, minds and hearts (including our teeth) and preparing well for our longer lives.

Is there any part of your health you’ve neglected or just haven’t gotten around to? A check-up that you’ve been putting off? A hip or knee replacement that feels too daunting? Perhaps it’s time to take action sooner rather than later, remembering that our bodies and minds are our most valuable assets.

Taking care of our health is a continuous journey, especially as we age. By prioritising our well-being, we can try our best to live our remaining years with vitality and purpose. So, whether it’s a dental check-up, a fitness routine, or a procedure you’ve delayed, let’s commit to our health today. Your future self will thank you.

Don’t sweat the big goals!

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Small Habits – Big Impact

I just crossed the finish line at my second Two Oceans Half Marathon! It may seem like a small victory, but it’s a big win for me and one that I celebrate proudly. Running a marathon was never really my main goal – but exercise and fitness have always been important to me. Don’t misunderstand me; when I first started running, it didn’t go exactly as planned. It’s tough getting up early mornings, and it’s much easier to hit the snooze button, especially on cold winter mornings or lazy weekends.

James Clear’s book Atomic Habits profoundly impacted my life, and his words deeply resonated with me:

“If you want to predict where you’ll end up in life, all you have to do is follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses and see how your daily choices will compound ten or twenty years down the line.”

So, I followed James Clear’s advice to cultivate smaller, achievable habits rather than pursuing big, audacious goals. Instead of setting out to run a marathon, I focused on tiny gains (consistent, small habits) and became a habitual runner. And the best part is that habits become part of your lifestyle over time.

I truly believe that the only way to look back at your life without regret is to align your time with what’s most important to you. So firstly, know where you want to go, and then make sure that your actions, decisions, and the time you spend on them allow you to achieve that goal.

Too often, we convince ourselves that big success requires big actions. But success is the product of small, repeated actions or habits – no matter what your dreams are, you can achieve them with the right habits. It’s the same principles I teach my midlife clients about investing: accumulating wealth is not a skill; it’s a habit. If you persevere, consistently save, and live below your means, you can cultivate the right habits to build wealth.

Reflect for a moment on the path of your life and where your daily actions are leading you. What you don’t want is to look back and wish you’d spent more time doing the things you love. When you decide what’s most important in your life, you can start making small daily changes to ensure you align your time without regrets. It’s the tiny steps you take that will eventually change everything!

Once I established a consistent routine around my health and fitness goals, it opened the door to stacking other important goals – like learning and travelling. I am busy planning to participate in the Berlin Marathon in September. It’s quite a stretch, seeing that I’ve only run 21km races so far (I really have to up my game to run this 42km marathon), but this isn’t just about the run. It’s about combining my broader intentions of travelling and learning with destination runs.

Let every tiny step be a celebration of moving closer to the life you envision.

The Freedom to Be … with permission, of course

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Have you ever found yourself standing on the edge of a decision, just waiting for someone to say it’s ok before you take the plunge? To give you the approval for what you’d like to do? Or stop yourself from doing something because it feels unfamiliar? You’re not alone. It’s human nature. We all hold ourselves back sometimes.

But what if the only permission slip you truly need is from yourself? Why not write yourself a ‘permission slip’ and give yourself the freedom – and permission – to feel, behave, and live exactly as you want to? Within reason (and your spending plan), of course…

Brené Brown uses the term’ permission slips’ as a way to allow yourself to feel (or do something) that might be out of your comfort zone or that’s new to you. It’s similar to the ones we, as parents, received from school, allowing our children to go on school outings. Last week, I was immersed in the Learning to Love Midlife workshop presented by Chip Conley at the Elder Academy. I was completely taken aback when a ‘learning to surf’ activity was suggested! I’m 55 and have never surfed before! Why try now? My initial response was quickly followed by another voice: what if I hurt myself? And then, “What if I can’t do it – and embarrass myself?”

What I really needed to do was give myself permission not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong but rather to focus my energy on thinking how cool it would be to actually feel what it’s like to surf, to try something new, and to expand myself instead of limiting what could be possible.

So yes! I surfed! Loved it and even managed to stand on the board and ride a wave! Of course, I had an instructor who helped me each step of the way – and in all honesty, the wave was very small! But I surfed in Mexico; more than that, it’s given me the confidence to try new things.

Sometimes, we hold ourselves back, waiting for permission, or do things just to gain approval. Other times, we avoid doing them completely for fear of disappointing someone close to us. This behavioural pattern often plays out within our closest relationships. Asking for permission can also become a convenient excuse – “We would have loved to, but our children advised us against it.” Deep down, we’re actually just looking for a reason not to.

It seems that at Chartered, we’ve become quite the go-to when it comes to tricky financial requests from the family. Next time the question of lending money to your adult children comes up, have your answer ready: ‘Sorry, we’d love to help, but Kim and Jason looked at the numbers and advised us not to.’ And yes, when it’s time to treat yourself and go on that trip, count on us to cheer you on: “Of course, financially, you are absolutely able to take that trip!”

As we promise to give ourselves permission to try new experiences, it’s important to consider the impact on our financial planning. Sometimes, we all need objective advice, especially regarding our money and financial security. Your Planning Specialist knows exactly how your actions will impact your planning and will always be available to give you objective advice and guidance without compromising your financial wellness – ensuring that your money is aligned with your life.

Beyond wrapping paper, The presence and the past

Beyond the wrapping paper
The Present of Presence

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Give Back. 1 Comment on

Beyond the wrapping paper
The Present of Presence

It’s November, and the holiday season is just around the corner – another year gone by in the blink of an eye. It’s been a whirlwind year, and I am slightly apprehensive about the possibility of getting lost in the fluster of holiday shopping and the quest for the perfect gift. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love shopping and find no greater joy than spoiling my special people with beautifully wrapped presents. But what if the most precious gift we can offer can’t be wrapped? What if the true essence of giving lies in something far more valuable than a tangible gift – our presence.

We’ve had a wonderful year together as you joined me in embracing the present moment, stepping out of our comfort zones and going on many first-time, brand-new adventures! It’s been an absolute privilege sharing all my new experiences with you, and I loved hearing all your stories of new roads travelled, slow and easy excursions venturing into undiscovered places, moving to new homes, cities and provinces, and forgotten hopes and dreams turning into realities.

As we wrap up this year, I have one final challenge for you and myself: to prioritise ‘Presence over Presents.’

This year has taught me that the moments we share hold more value than the things we own and the dreams we accumulate. But creating these memories can be challenging as it calls for the most personal of gifts – our time. Something we often don’t always have enough of. And this is the hard part – and certainly one of my most significant challenges: giving my time and being fully present with the people I love while juggling a busy schedule.

So, let’s promise to try our best to give ourselves – and others – the gift of time and presence this holiday season. I am very excited about a two-week beach holiday with my family and friends, spending uninterrupted time with them and spoiling all my special people with delicious meals. This is my chance to make up for all the moments missed and create new memories.

Just in case you need more ideas: Why not invite your best friend for a delicious dinner instead of buying a gift? Spend the evening fully engaged, actively listening, and giving them your full attention. Or dedicate one device-free hour every evening for family time or self-reflection. Spend an afternoon helping at your favourite charity or schedule activities with your loved ones that you know they would love. If your granddaughter loves art, why not do pottery with her? Or arrange a movie and ice cream day with a grandson … build a bonfire and roast marshmallows. Write a heartfelt letter to someone you love or take a long walk with a family member.

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life rightfully says: “Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it… When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.”

Let’s embrace the true gift of connection, shared experiences and each other’s presence this festive season. Wishing you a wonderful holiday filled with joyous moments and the present of presence.

From rugby fields to empty nests

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And the promise to tackle foreboding joy in the scrum of life

I have shared all my first-time, brand-new, and exciting experiences with you every month this year. This month, I am standing on the edge, waiting for a significant change in my life – becoming an empty nester for the first time. My daughter, Gabi, will embrace her next chapter of studying Civil Engineering at Stellenbosch University next year. While I have so many mixed emotions ranging from pride, love and anticipation – to fear, dread and anxiousness, I remind myself to stay focused on the present and enjoy the time we have now, rather than be overwhelmed by the worries of next year.

Have you ever spent so much time worrying about the what ifs that the beautiful, joyous moments of the present pass you by? Do you find yourself constantly worrying about things that haven’t happened yet?

I’m incredibly proud of Gabi’s achievements and her choice to pursue a career in engineering. I love every minute of my time with her. Still, I constantly guard myself not to be overly concerned about everything that could possibly go wrong or pre-empting the dread of an empty home and losing those daily moments with her.

In a wonderful social media post, Brent Lindeque (The Good Things Guy) reminded me of a term called anticipatory grief – when you worry or grieve about things that haven’t happened yet (like many South Africans did 70 minutes into the Springbok-England Rugby World Cup Semi-finals). At the very least, we were all panicking just a little bit! I am convinced that only the bravest of us resisted grieving ahead of schedule!

But rugby aside, Brent makes a good point when he shares that South Africans may be in a constant state of anticipatory grief – waiting for the next corruption scandal, waiting to hear more bad news, waiting for load-shedding, more potholes, inflation, another war … Similarly, the concept foreboding joy, coined by Brené Brown, captures the internal conflict we feel when joy is immediately followed by worry and fear. We end up catastrophising, wasting our time worrying about things that haven’t happened, and in the process, we have no time or space left to embrace the joy and happiness of our present.

I’ve seen how the initial excitement of retirement can be replaced by fears and questions like “What will I do with my life?” or “Will my money last?” and “What if my health fails?” I have spoken to many people whose children are emigrating, and the fear and worry for their future start way before they leave the country. I’ve noticed how fear and worry can deter people from trying new things. It seems we are all constantly worrying, letting the impending fear of loss and change overshadow the potential joy of living in the present moment.

So, how do we move past this cycle of anticipatory grief? The answer, I believe, lies in being present. Embrace each moment fully and focus on gratitude, all the positive aspects of change, and the many new adventures that change will bring.

So, no anticipating grief this Saturday during the World Cup Rugby Final! No foreboding joy allowed! This is the 8th Rugby World Cup tournament that SA is playing; we’ve won the Cup three times and have never lost a final! There’s nothing to worry about.

Age ain’t nothing but a playlist track!

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My first-time not-unusual Delilah-cious encounter with Tom Jones

Okay, my article heading may be a bit too much! But if you’ve seen Sir Tom Jones perform “It’s Not Unusual” and “Delilah” live on stage, you might also find yourself humming to “Green Green Grass of Home” while watching the Springboks play in the Rugby World Cup.

Every year, Jean and I plan an overseas trip together, and we always add something new – a fresh experience that we’ll both enjoy. Just as we’ve done in the past by adding a Rod Stewart and Billy Joel concert to our itinerary, this year we chose a show featuring none other than Tom Jones in Germany.

At 83, Tom Jones is still rocking on! Thinking back on my first-time experiences this year, this one really hit home. Age is just a number, right? Not that anyone’s counting, but here was Tom Jones, who began his career in the 1960s, still performing his classics to a crowd of over 10,000 people – all loving his music. 83 is a number that may make many want to slow down or take things easy. But not him. He’s still busting the age myth, one tune at a time! It made me question the constraints I sometimes impose on myself due to age. Do I use my age as an excuse not to do certain things?

My father was a huge fan of Tom Jones, which is how I was introduced to his songs. This experience has reminded me of a dream I once had: to run in the Comrades Marathon using my late dad’s double green number. In fact, 81-year-old Johannes Mosehla broke a 34-year-old record this year by becoming the oldest runner to complete the Comrades. Still, running the Comrades is not for everyone, and for now, I am very happy with my achievement of having completed my first 21km race.

One thing that I was certainly not too old – or too young – to try was beer! An unusual choice for me. Beer is certainly not my preferred drink, but whilst at a Beer Festival, I thought, “Why not?” and gave it a go. The result? An unforgettable memory – one I will cherish and laugh about for years to come.

The true magic of this trip was sharing it with Jean, a truly special friend. I’ve mentioned Robert Waldinger’s Harvard research before, which finds that the secret to a long and healthy life lies in connections and close relationships with significant people. This may just be what inspired Tom Jones and Dolly Parton to write “Islands in the Stream.” Without our special people, the ones we love and those who make our souls sing, we are simply islands adrift in the stream of life.

Let’s promise ourselves not to let age hold us back and to cherish our connections in the flowing river of life,