From “I’m fine” to “Let me tell you how I really am”
We live in a world filled with noise, yet so many people feel unheard.
How often have you answered “I’m fine” when you’re not? Or asked someone how they are, only to get the same automatic reply in return? It’s become second nature – a routine that keeps things polite but not real.
I’m reminded of the lyrics from The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel – people “talking without speaking” and “hearing without listening.” We smile, we nod, and say we’re okay – even when we’re not. We hold our struggles close, ashamed to admit that things aren’t quite right. We feel the pressure to appear strong, capable, and in control … even when we’re falling apart inside. We tell ourselves that we should have it all figured out by now. But life doesn’t work that way. It’s full of transitions – emotional shifts, changing identities, evolving relationships. Transitions are messy. Life is messy. And sometimes, it’s just hard.
This is what I’ve learnt: you don’t have to do it alone.
At the moment, my husband and I are seeing a marriage counsellor. I’m not sharing this because it’s easy to talk about. I’m sharing it because it matters. Saying “we need help” isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an honest, brave step towards understanding each other better, and creating space for growth and healing.
What worries me is how often we tiptoe around our struggles. We convince ourselves we’re the only ones feeling this way, holding our sadness, frustration, loneliness, and fear inside. And at the same time, we stop asking each other the real questions.
“How are you?” has become a script. A question we ask without really meaning it.
“I’m fine, thanks. And you?” – the rehearsed reply.
But what if we slowed down and really asked? What if we looked someone in the eyes and said, “No, really – how are you?” Sometimes, just knowing someone cares enough to listen is enough.
And when we stop pretending – when we speak our truth – something shifts.
We open the door to connection and support.
We make space for unexpected insight, comfort, and even solutions.
You might be surprised what happens when you say something out loud. It might be a book that finds you at the right moment. A conversation that shifts your perspective. A friend who says, “Me too.” Or a professional who gives you the tools to move forward.
So, if you’re carrying something silently, ask yourself: What would happen if I stopped trying to manage this on my own? What would it feel like to let someone in?
Life is far too precious to allow yourself to be stuck in silence. There is power in naming what you need, in choosing honesty over perfection, and in breaking the sound of silence.
The world doesn’t need your perfection. It needs your honesty.
And the people who love you – they want to know how you really are.
