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Author: Kim Potgieter

From “I’m fine” to “Let me tell you how I really am”

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. No Comments on From “I’m fine” to “Let me tell you how I really am”

We live in a world filled with noise, yet so many people feel unheard.

How often have you answered “I’m fine” when you’re not? Or asked someone how they are, only to get the same automatic reply in return? It’s become second nature – a routine that keeps things polite but not real.

I’m reminded of the lyrics from The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel – people “talking without speaking” and “hearing without listening.” We smile, we nod, and say we’re okay – even when we’re not. We hold our struggles close, ashamed to admit that things aren’t quite right. We feel the pressure to appear strong, capable, and in control … even when we’re falling apart inside. We tell ourselves that we should have it all figured out by now. But life doesn’t work that way. It’s full of transitions – emotional shifts, changing identities, evolving relationships. Transitions are messy. Life is messy. And sometimes, it’s just hard.

This is what I’ve learnt: you don’t have to do it alone.

At the moment, my husband and I are seeing a marriage counsellor. I’m not sharing this because it’s easy to talk about. I’m sharing it because it matters. Saying “we need help” isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an honest, brave step towards understanding each other better, and creating space for growth and healing.

What worries me is how often we tiptoe around our struggles. We convince ourselves we’re the only ones feeling this way, holding our sadness, frustration, loneliness, and fear inside. And at the same time, we stop asking each other the real questions.

“How are you?” has become a script. A question we ask without really meaning it.
“I’m fine, thanks. And you?” – the rehearsed reply.

But what if we slowed down and really asked? What if we looked someone in the eyes and said, “No, really – how are you?” Sometimes, just knowing someone cares enough to listen is enough.

And when we stop pretending – when we speak our truth – something shifts.
We open the door to connection and support.
We make space for unexpected insight, comfort, and even solutions.

You might be surprised what happens when you say something out loud. It might be a book that finds you at the right moment. A conversation that shifts your perspective. A friend who says, “Me too.” Or a professional who gives you the tools to move forward.

So, if you’re carrying something silently, ask yourself: What would happen if I stopped trying to manage this on my own? What would it feel like to let someone in?

Life is far too precious to allow yourself to be stuck in silence. There is power in naming what you need, in choosing honesty over perfection, and in breaking the sound of silence.

The world doesn’t need your perfection. It needs your honesty.
And the people who love you – they want to know how you really are.

Life’s not a two-step. It’s a whole dance floor

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Play. No Comments on Life’s not a two-step. It’s a whole dance floor

Some chapters of life feel like a gentle, graceful waltz. Others feel more like a fast-paced, dramatic tango. And sometimes, during life’s many transitions, we find ourselves dancing to a rhythm that no longer excites us. That’s your cue: it’s time to change the music.

We are not meant to tiptoe through the expanded version of midlife. And we’re not meant to repeat the same predictable steps in retirement, year after year. Life at this stage is far too rich for that. It’s filled with freedom and variety. It’s marked by transition after transition. The most powerful gift we can give ourselves in this chapter of life is to decide how we want to move through it – to keep checking in with ourselves, with our dreams, and what matters most.

This month, we hosted a Retire Successfully workshop in Cape Town – a room filled with 35 people aged between 50 and 80. Some were long retired, others just beginning to imagine what retirement might look like, and a few were navigating the unpredictability of midlife. The transitions were as varied as the people themselves.

One couple was struggling with the decision to move into a retirement village – one partner ready to embrace it, and the other not quite there yet. Some were adjusting to empty nests, moving cities, or looking for a fresh perspective on retirement. Others were dreaming of starting something new. One woman told me she keeps Midlife Money Makeover on her nightstand, calling it her “transition bible.”

But what struck me most wasn’t the variety of transitions or ages – it was the generosity in the room. When people open up and share their stories, something shifts. Those who have walked through difficult changes offer light to those just beginning. The wisdom flows both ways. Everyone leaves with a fresh insight, a new idea, or the reassurance that they’re not alone.

There’s no one way to navigate retirement. No formula. No choreography that works for everyone. But what I do know is this: we all need to check in with ourselves regularly and ask:

Am I still living the life I want to live – right now? What brings me joy? What have I been postponing?

Your best life at 60 might not be the same as your best life at 70. What brought you joy a year ago may not inspire you today. And what worked during the first few years of retirement may now need a new perspective.

So next time you wonder, “Is this it?” or are ready to try some new moves, listen to the rhythm that feels right for you. This is your invitation to keep showing up for yourself. Join us at our next workshop, check in with your planner, or have lunch with someone younger or older to share stories, inspire each other, and keep learning together.

The music may change, but the invitation remains: show up, be present, and live fully.

Love, Actually

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Relationships. 2 Comments on Love, Actually

“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”
Hugh Grant, Love Actually

Valentine’s Day often comes wrapped in red roses, chocolates, and grand gestures. But if you take a step back, you’ll see that love is actually something much simpler – and far more powerful. It’s in the quiet moments we take for granted – the everyday kindness, the way we show up. It’s in the breathtaking bear hug that makes you feel safe, the soft, gentle embrace that whispers, I see you, I’m here, and I care. It’s in the deep listening that makes someone feel truly seen. Because love is what we give of ourselves.

Love without expectation

Love doesn’t always have to result in something more. It does not have to be a date, a phone call, or dinner. Love sometimes simply exists in a moment. Shared and appreciated for what it is. One of the most unforgettable moments in Love Actually is when Mark stands at Juliet’s door, silently expressing his love through a series of handwritten cue cards. He knows his love is unreciprocated, but still, he chooses to honour it. As he walks away, he tells himself:

“Enough. Enough now.”

It’s a moment of love expressed without expectation – not to change anything, but simply to say I see you, I care for you, and then to let go.

A love letter to life

Love isn’t just about romance. It’s in how we choose to live our lives, how we love ourselves, the friendships we treasure, and the family who fills our hearts. It’s in a heartfelt conversation with a best friend, listening to a favourite song, or familiarity with watching your favourite movie over again.

And sometimes, love is best expressed in the simplest ways:

  • Listening. Not to respond, not to fix – just to hear someone.
  • Touching. A warm hug, a squeeze of the hand, a reassuring pat on the back.
  • Showing up. Being present, being there, making someone feel valued simply by giving them your time.

Rediscovering romance

It’s easy to take love for granted. Maybe you’ve loved and lost. Maybe you’re in a relationship where love has settled into quiet familiarity. Or maybe you’re still searching for a new connection. Wherever you find yourself, never give up on love. Romance does not have to be extravagant. It can be as simple as being brave enough to speak to someone new, taking a morning walk with someone you love, sharing a cup of coffee, or listening – really listening – even if you’ve heard the story before.

This year, I’ve set an intention to practice random acts of kindness, spreading love in small, unexpected ways. Maybe you’d like to join me? It could be as simple as leaving a note for someone, paying a compliment, or calling an old friend just to check in.

Because, at the end of the day, love is about reminding people that they are loved.

Embracing the Power of AND in 2025

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Purpose. No Comments on Embracing the Power of AND in 2025

What if this year could be about having it all? About embracing all of life’s possibilities – not “this or that,” but this AND that? For me, 2025 started with the simple yet powerful reminder that life isn’t an either-or choice: you don’t have to sacrifice one thing for another. We don’t have to limit ourselves or put our dreams in boxes. We can embrace all of it!

Last year, I felt a bit lost navigating my empty nest. But this year started differently, with my vision board centred around a single word: AND. It’s incredible how a small word can carry such a big meaning. You can be retired AND find new purpose. You can spend time on yourself AND give back to your community. You can enjoy today AND plan for tomorrow. You can be driven and successful AND embrace the emotional aspects of being human. You can be happy AND sad. It’s about embracing the full spectrum of life.

The Bucket Wheel® is a great way to incorporate AND into your life. Think about the eight areas of life – work, play, purpose, health, giving back, relationships, learning, and money. Where are you choosing ‘either/or’ when you could embrace AND? Could you focus on your health AND strengthen relationships, give back AND prioritise fun, plan your dream trip AND learn something new?

As I step into my new role as Managing Director, I’m carrying AND into how I lead. Brené Brown says leadership is about seeing potential in others and helping them grow. This year, I’m committed to teaching AND learning – asking more questions, listening closely (especially to the quieter voices in the room) and creating opportunities for everyone’s gifts to shine.

I’ve even made an agreement with a team member: he’ll teach me SharePoint and new tech tools to help me work smarter, and in return, I’ll teach him the emotional intelligence needed to build business relationships. It’s a reminder that no matter your age or stage of life, there’s always something to learn AND something to share.

We also want to hear from you!

Complete our short five-minute survey to share your thoughts, interests and priorities, and enter the lucky draw for a Babylonstoren Hamper. Your feedback will help us shape our communication this year.

Click here to take the survey!

Here’s to a year of purpose, connection, and the power of AND.

Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Purpose. 6 Comments on Chasing My Dream, Crossing the Line

Have you ever had a dream—something you’ve always wanted to do but hesitated to pursue, afraid you might fail? Or perhaps you were too afraid to share, worried you may not succeed. For me, that dream was running the Berlin Marathon. Two years ago, I put it on my vision board and called it my “Wildly Improbable Dream.” It wasn’t just about the race—it was about pushing my limits and proving that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

In September this year, my dream came true. At the age of 56, I ran through the streets of Berlin in one of the largest marathons in the world. The joy on my face tells the story! Every photo along the route shows a beaming smile, no matter how tired I felt. But dreams aren’t supposed to be easy. As Kahlil Gibran said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” The resilience it took to keep going when the road got tough made this dream even more meaningful.

Here are the lessons I learned from chasing my dream:

The first step was knowing why I wanted to do this. Sure, I wanted to test my limits, but it was more than that. This dream allowed me to combine all my greatest loves: running, travelling, and learning. Along the way, I explored beautiful cities across Europe, learned new recipes at Toscana Saporita in Tuscany, and took in the sights of Italy—a true celebration of everything that brings me joy.

Small steps, big gains
The secret to success? Consistency. I learned from Atomic Habits that improving by just 1% every day adds up to being 37 times better over time. So, I stuck to my running schedule, rain or shine. I consistently got up early and pushed through tough days—even when life tried to get in the way.

Setbacks aren’t stop signs
Of course, setbacks happen. After Covid, I had complications with my heart rate that I monitored closely throughout training. And getting into the marathon wasn’t easy either. After trying and failing to register through the organisers, the lottery, travel agents, and charities, I nearly gave up. But my support group encouraged me to try one last time, and miraculously, a spot opened, and I finally got my chance.

Your support system is everything
The night before the marathon, fear crept in. I was nervous—what if I couldn’t do it? But then came the messages from my sons, Josh and Ryan, and from my friends and Gabi, all cheering me on. Their encouragement made such a difference. As I stood at the starting line, tears in my eyes, I knew I wasn’t doing this alone. Their support carried me, step by step.

Have fun
When the whistle blew, I reminded myself of something important—I wasn’t just here to run; I was here to enjoy every minute. I kept my pace steady, only walking through the water stations, and savoured every moment. That feeling of joy and pride has stuck with me since.

One dream leads to another
Achieving a wildly improbable dream gives you a sense of limitless possibility. Once you’ve crossed that finish line, it feels like no challenge is too great, no goal too far out of reach. You start believing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid to fail? Chase your wildly improbable dream with all your heart!

A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Purpose. 2 Comments on A sprinkle of luck goes a long way

“What now?” is a thought that has been on my mind a lot this year as I navigate my empty nest. My role as a mother has changed – it’s different now – but there’s a space that I need to fill with something else. I have been exploring new challenges and embracing new opportunities that push me to grow, and what I’ve learnt in this process is that stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t just require courage – it might also take a little bit of luck.

Running in the Berlin Marathon has been on my vision board for the past two years. It was meant to be a gift to myself during this empty nest year, but it has made me question my gift-giving capabilities. This gift has sometimes felt more like a punishment – just over 42km of running is no walk in the park! But there’s something about the challenge that has drawn me in. I’m spending hours training and cultivating the habit of running, and one of the pros of this time on the road is that it gives me time to think. I’ve learnt the art of perseverance and patience, but I’ve also come to realise that a sprinkle of luck can change everything.

Entry into the Berlin Marathon is via a lottery system, which I duly entered at the end of last year but didn’t get in. Very disappointed but still determined, I turned to other ways to gain entry, charities and travel agencies, with no luck. Just as I thought the dream was slipping through my fingers, a spot opened – as if the universe was giving me a nudge. Out of the blue, I received the message: I could participate.

Sometimes, the best-laid plans need a little help from the unpredictable forces of life. You can prepare, train, and do everything right, but outcomes are not always in our control. Morgan Housel beautifully writes in The Psychology of Money: “Luck and risk are both the reality that every outcome in life is guided by forces other than individual effort…The accidental impact of actions outside of your control can be more consequential than the ones you consciously take.”

It’s not that effort doesn’t matter; it’s just that life, with its infinite moving parts, has a way of surprising us. The key is to keep showing up and putting yourself out there – even if success isn’t guaranteed. Sometimes, that little bit of luck makes all the difference.

Our very own Olympic medallist, Tatjana Smith, embodies this idea perfectly. After winning her gold and silver medals, she said something that stuck with me: “On any other day, any other swimmer could have taken gold. We are not better than each other; that day was just my day.”

This isn’t to say we must depend on luck alone. It’s a reminder that when you dare to try something new, you may be surprised at how the stars can sometimes align in your favour. Preparing for the Berlin Marathon has taught me never to say “I can’t” and to challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. It’s also taught me to leave a little space for luck.

So, don’t be afraid to take the leap. Yes, there will be bumps along the way. Sometimes, things won’t go as planned. But keep showing up. Keep saying yes to new experiences. And who knows? With a bit of perseverance and maybe even a dash of luck, you might find yourself achieving something you never thought possible.

Your Lifeline – The Rest is Still Unwritten

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By now, we are well-acquainted with the notion that nothing in life is constant except for change (and taxes, of course!). While it’s tax season, don’t worry, that’s not the focus today. Instead, I want to talk about the kind of change that transforms your life and demands that you reassess your path forward.

I recently presented a workshop where I shared my insights from Chip Conley’s Learning to Love Midlife course. What struck me about this phase of life, which Conley suggests can last up to the age of 75 – or even longer – is how many transitions we navigate. It’s rarely just one change at a time – but a convergence of many shifts all at once. Many participants struggled with significant transitions intertwined with unexpected changes and emotional turmoil. These ranged from relocation and relationship changes to physical and psychological challenges, losing loved ones, changes in how we approach work, and often, a deep search for meaning and purpose.

Navigating difficult situations

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by a transition, as if you’re drowning in doubt and uncertainty – wishing someone would throw you a lifeline? The good news is that you have your very own lifeline – filled with the lessons and wisdom you’ve accumulated and applied throughout your life. Imagine your life as an unwritten book, with each new day offering a blank page waiting for your mark. Your past experiences provide the inspiration to write your future, helping you navigate the complexities and challenges of trying times. Of course, music can also be a great companion for finding solace.

Drawing your Lifeline

To give you an idea of what this exercise is about, here is a snapshot of the most recent part of mine. It involves reflecting on your life so far and identifying the stories that shaped who you are today. Include all the key moments of your life, from birth to the present day. Everything above the middle line represents high points, and everything below the line represents low points that made you feel unhappy or challenged.

Reflect on your Lifeline

What lessons can you take from your timeline?
Are there any significant themes?
What (and who) helped you through your lows; what (and who) supported you during your highs?
What strengths did you find to help you through your lows?
Is there anything you could or would have done differently, knowing what you know now?
Can you document all the lessons and wisdom you have gained?

Embrace your Inner Strengths

When I look at my lifeline, I reflect on what each story is teaching me and what I can learn from every transition. I consider the strengths that helped me through previous difficult situations and think about how I can draw on those strengths now. It’s often your inner strength that pulls you through.

I do believe that things happen for a reason and that the story of your life is a powerful teacher. And then there’s always music! In times of change, I often turn to music. Natasha Bedingfield’s song Unwritten reminds me that there are always ways to find comfort and strength in the unwritten possibilities ahead.

I hope the lifeline exercise benefits you as much as it’s helping me right now. If you’re looking for a song to draw, reflect on, and work to, here’s a link to Unwritten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI

What’s missing in your health routine?

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Health. No Comments on What’s missing in your health routine?

Check-in with your check-ups

During my time with Chip Conley at his Learning to Love Midlife workshop at the Modern Elder Academy (MEA), I realised that I may still have half my life ahead of me. At 55, it’s certainly not the time to start thinking about slowing down or stepping back. I have more life left than I thought! But it also made me realise that it was time to check in with my health.

Am I keeping fit? Check. I’m running half marathons and train regularly.
Am I eating healthy? Check. Apart from my sugar cravings, I do my best.
Do I have any outstanding medical check-ups? No.
How am I doing emotionally and mentally? I’m doing the best I can. Midlife can get messy, and with so many changes to navigate in this “messy middle” part of my life, the one thing I can do is make sure I take time out when I need to – to reflect, do the introspection, be grateful and be open to embracing wisdom and intuition.

So, what part of my health have I neglected? My teeth.

I needed braces as a child, but as my dad did not have medical aid, it was never an option. As an adult, getting braces was also never a priority for me (I was never going to be that beauty queen with perfect teeth anyway!) Now, in my mid-50s, the dentists tell me that the overcrowding in my mouth could cause my bite to go out of alignment if left untreated. I wish I’d known earlier in my life that braces are not just for aesthetic reasons. One of the most important reasons for getting braces is to correct your ‘bite’ and ensure the long-term health of your teeth.

Honestly, it’s hard getting braces in your 50s. Not only has the first week been extremely painful, but it’s also a mental adjustment that I need to make. Holistic health means looking after every part of our bodies, minds and hearts (including our teeth) and preparing well for our longer lives.

Is there any part of your health you’ve neglected or just haven’t gotten around to? A check-up that you’ve been putting off? A hip or knee replacement that feels too daunting? Perhaps it’s time to take action sooner rather than later, remembering that our bodies and minds are our most valuable assets.

Taking care of our health is a continuous journey, especially as we age. By prioritising our well-being, we can try our best to live our remaining years with vitality and purpose. So, whether it’s a dental check-up, a fitness routine, or a procedure you’ve delayed, let’s commit to our health today. Your future self will thank you.

Don’t sweat the big goals!

Written by Kim Potgieter on . Posted in Play. 1 Comment on Don’t sweat the big goals!

Small Habits – Big Impact

I just crossed the finish line at my second Two Oceans Half Marathon! It may seem like a small victory, but it’s a big win for me and one that I celebrate proudly. Running a marathon was never really my main goal – but exercise and fitness have always been important to me. Don’t misunderstand me; when I first started running, it didn’t go exactly as planned. It’s tough getting up early mornings, and it’s much easier to hit the snooze button, especially on cold winter mornings or lazy weekends.

James Clear’s book Atomic Habits profoundly impacted my life, and his words deeply resonated with me:

“If you want to predict where you’ll end up in life, all you have to do is follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses and see how your daily choices will compound ten or twenty years down the line.”

So, I followed James Clear’s advice to cultivate smaller, achievable habits rather than pursuing big, audacious goals. Instead of setting out to run a marathon, I focused on tiny gains (consistent, small habits) and became a habitual runner. And the best part is that habits become part of your lifestyle over time.

I truly believe that the only way to look back at your life without regret is to align your time with what’s most important to you. So firstly, know where you want to go, and then make sure that your actions, decisions, and the time you spend on them allow you to achieve that goal.

Too often, we convince ourselves that big success requires big actions. But success is the product of small, repeated actions or habits – no matter what your dreams are, you can achieve them with the right habits. It’s the same principles I teach my midlife clients about investing: accumulating wealth is not a skill; it’s a habit. If you persevere, consistently save, and live below your means, you can cultivate the right habits to build wealth.

Reflect for a moment on the path of your life and where your daily actions are leading you. What you don’t want is to look back and wish you’d spent more time doing the things you love. When you decide what’s most important in your life, you can start making small daily changes to ensure you align your time without regrets. It’s the tiny steps you take that will eventually change everything!

Once I established a consistent routine around my health and fitness goals, it opened the door to stacking other important goals – like learning and travelling. I am busy planning to participate in the Berlin Marathon in September. It’s quite a stretch, seeing that I’ve only run 21km races so far (I really have to up my game to run this 42km marathon), but this isn’t just about the run. It’s about combining my broader intentions of travelling and learning with destination runs.

Let every tiny step be a celebration of moving closer to the life you envision.

The Freedom to Be … with permission, of course

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Have you ever found yourself standing on the edge of a decision, just waiting for someone to say it’s ok before you take the plunge? To give you the approval for what you’d like to do? Or stop yourself from doing something because it feels unfamiliar? You’re not alone. It’s human nature. We all hold ourselves back sometimes.

But what if the only permission slip you truly need is from yourself? Why not write yourself a ‘permission slip’ and give yourself the freedom – and permission – to feel, behave, and live exactly as you want to? Within reason (and your spending plan), of course…

Brené Brown uses the term’ permission slips’ as a way to allow yourself to feel (or do something) that might be out of your comfort zone or that’s new to you. It’s similar to the ones we, as parents, received from school, allowing our children to go on school outings. Last week, I was immersed in the Learning to Love Midlife workshop presented by Chip Conley at the Elder Academy. I was completely taken aback when a ‘learning to surf’ activity was suggested! I’m 55 and have never surfed before! Why try now? My initial response was quickly followed by another voice: what if I hurt myself? And then, “What if I can’t do it – and embarrass myself?”

What I really needed to do was give myself permission not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong but rather to focus my energy on thinking how cool it would be to actually feel what it’s like to surf, to try something new, and to expand myself instead of limiting what could be possible.

So yes! I surfed! Loved it and even managed to stand on the board and ride a wave! Of course, I had an instructor who helped me each step of the way – and in all honesty, the wave was very small! But I surfed in Mexico; more than that, it’s given me the confidence to try new things.

Sometimes, we hold ourselves back, waiting for permission, or do things just to gain approval. Other times, we avoid doing them completely for fear of disappointing someone close to us. This behavioural pattern often plays out within our closest relationships. Asking for permission can also become a convenient excuse – “We would have loved to, but our children advised us against it.” Deep down, we’re actually just looking for a reason not to.

It seems that at Chartered, we’ve become quite the go-to when it comes to tricky financial requests from the family. Next time the question of lending money to your adult children comes up, have your answer ready: ‘Sorry, we’d love to help, but Kim and Jason looked at the numbers and advised us not to.’ And yes, when it’s time to treat yourself and go on that trip, count on us to cheer you on: “Of course, financially, you are absolutely able to take that trip!”

As we promise to give ourselves permission to try new experiences, it’s important to consider the impact on our financial planning. Sometimes, we all need objective advice, especially regarding our money and financial security. Your Planning Specialist knows exactly how your actions will impact your planning and will always be available to give you objective advice and guidance without compromising your financial wellness – ensuring that your money is aligned with your life.