Extracts from an (Eventless) Diary
Big discussions in our house today. Kev (my hubby) who has not been at work since the initial lockdown in March, was asked to return to his GP practice. None of the circumstances have changed – he remains a 77 year old diabetic in the times of Covid. If anything, things have got worse. But, here’s the rub. Is it better to take a calculated risk and do the thing you love or stay at home unfulfilled but safe? There are so many people out there who need him for check-ups, script repeats etc. He isn’t in the frontline where exposure is unrelenting. It took him less than 5 minutes to make the decision to return to work and his beloved patients. I was not best pleased, but for selfish reasons, because now I would also become more exposed, but on reflection I was proud of the decision. We aren’t going to live forever and isn’t it better to be able to be a meaningful contributor to the well-being of others rather than ossify in isolation?
I have made an exciting discovery! I think I have found a new psychological disorder which I have named “Justitis.” I was the only lab rat during the observation period. These are my findings. If I have an early morning appointment (I often am on the golf course before seven), then the symptoms don’t kick in, but if there are no commitments, then “Justitis” displays its scary symptoms with gay abandon. Let me explain. I’ll get up and go to the bathroom. Thereafter, the disorder wreaks havoc with my day. On my way to the kitchen to make my cappuccino, I have to pass my study so I say to myself “I’ll just check my e-mails”. Half an hour later, I make my coffee but then I open a cupboard which “just” needs a bit of cleaning. Then I notice my plants look a bit wilted and “just” need a quick watering. And so it goes. By the time I have “just” done this and that it is midday and I am still unwashed and in my pyjamas. My brain seems to have lost its ability to prioritise! I have spoken to some of my friends who were delighted at my confession because they too suffer from the same malady to a greater or lesser extent.
To my shock and horror I seem to have developed the habit of speaking to myself OUT LOUD! I often find myself saying “I could swear I put my cell phone on this table.” Of course it isn’t there and no amount of oath taking will make it miraculously appear on the table, but I do it anyway. Thankfully I have a pinging thing on my watch to pinpoint my phone’s location. But not all of my “lost” items have this advantage, so I spend a large portion of my day trying to find misplaced thigs. Can you imagine how “Justitis” thrives then?
I don’t think my hearing is bad at all but I really struggle to hear what callers are saying on talk radio. 702 used to be my go to station but now I just get so frustrated because I am only hearing one side of a conversation. Also I am tired of political debates and the state of the nation shenanigans. There is an adage that when one door closes, another will open. Now am happily listening to Classic FM which is really weird for me because I have always been more of a pop adherent. I think I made an early association between classical music and sadness so I have been working hard at reconditioning myself. Surprisingly I actually recognise a lot of the music but find it hard to connect tunes with names if there are no words. Maybe I have finally grown up! Bit of a late bloomer perhaps?