Connecting to grief – making space for a new reality

Our world has changed, and our lives have been turned upside-down. Things aren’t the same as they used to be. Adapting to a new normal is not easy – it’s because most of us don’t like change. Our customs, our habits and our schedules are disrupted, and it feels unsettling. A sense of sadness has enveloped our world. It’s a collective sadness as we mourn the way the world has changed and worry about the many challenges that still lie ahead.

I am an eternal optimist and as much as I want to shout out to the world that we have to hold on to hope, and that we have to keep trying to live our best lives, I do believe that we have to give attention to the sorrow that we are feeling. The world is grieving, and it’s a powerful emotion – it’s a shared grief and it feels overwhelming.

Today I want to ask you to grieve. Grief is an essential part of healing and we have to give ourselves time to express and feel our emotions, bring them out in the open, and work through our feelings of loss and despair. You don’t have to be strong; you don’t have to pretend that what you’re feeling is not important. Because what you are feeling is valid. It’s real, and it’s raw and it’s uncomfortable.

Today I also want to remind you to be brave. Don’t ignore the pain that you are feeling. Don’t bury your emotions and pretend that they don’t exist. Working through grief is one of the bravest things you will ever do. And you have to. You cannot bury these feelings for them to resurface later on. For when they do resurface, they hold more power.

Recognise your emotions, allow yourself to feel them, name them and talk about them. This process makes space for adapting – it makes space for hope, faith and love.

In this newsletter, I share some of the things that I miss, and a couple of tips on how I am trying to adapt. We’ve also received some wonderful ideas from our clients on how they are adapting in lockdown. Also included are links to articles and a a powerful podcast with David Kessler and Brené Brown on Grief and finding meaning.

Today I am grieving with you, but I do find comfort knowing that I’m not grieving alone, and that together we are making space for renewed hope and meaning.

Comments (2)

  • Reading your article, ‘Connecting to grief – making space for a new reality’ has helped me to understand and acknowledge that I do have a right to the feelings of fear and anxiety that I’m experiencing for myself and my family about the future. However, I realize that by not suppressing them and pretending that I’m coping perfectly well, I’m giving myself a chance to work through them and handle them, allowing myself to be brave by realizing that we are all in this together, Ultimately this pandemic that’s changed our lives forever, may just be the positive challenge for us all to ultimately create the better world we were all longing for. By allowing our anxieties and fears to surface in order for us to deal with them honestly, we’re giving ourselves the chance to understand that the future may be exciting and positive, and have a certain logic and order which gives us hope rather than terror. I pray we all stay safe and healthy!

    • You are being so brave dealing with these hard emotions and leaning into vulnerability and I totally agree it is the only way to come through this to a better new life. Stay healthy and remember we are all doing the best we can.

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