Lockdown provided the perfect opportunity to reflect on what is important in our lives, as well as what no longer serves us. Some of our clients used this time of reflection to make small lifestyle changes, while others made big ones. Either way, the changes have had a positive impact.

Kobus and Elaine Joubert

Breaking bad habits

When lockdown initially began and the government announced that alcohol and cigarettes were banned, Elaine and Kobus decided they weren’t going to source cigarettes illegally but rather give up smoking. Having both been smokers for close to 50 years, this was no mean feat. Anyone who has ever tried to give up smoking knows this decision is usually preceded by months of agonising over the how and when. Kobus and Elaine bravely decided on the spot, with Kobus even going cold turkey from the word go.

To keep busy and their minds off smoking, they spring cleaned their house, sorting out cupboards and even cleaning their carpets by hand. Elaine dusted off her sewing machine, and they spent time gardening.

Another bonus after stopping smoking was that they both started to exercise, something they now do six times a week. Elaine walks up and down her driveway 25 times, equating to two kilometres, and Kobus trains in his home gym while listening to music.

It just goes to show, it’s never too late to break bad habits and form healthy new ones.

Patricia O’Hare

Celebrating differently

Patricia has always loved music. Her daughters don’t recall a day of their childhood that didn’t involve music. She woke them up singing and sang them to sleep. As a result of her love of music, it was a given that she thoroughly enjoyed the online events with The Music Guru, Sean Brokensha. After each event, she would call her daughters and gush about his knowledge, expressing how it was on her bucket list to one day have dinner with Sean, where he could dedicate a whole evening to telling her about Leonard Cohen, the history of his music and the inspiration
behind his lyrics.

During hard lockdown and not seeing her family, Patricia, like so many of us, realised that it is people and memories, not things, that matter the most, something she would tell her daughters often. As a result of her desire to make memories, her daughters, much to her absolute delight, helped her celebrate her birthday differently this year by not buying gifts but instead making memories by arranging a dinner with Sean. It was an intimate affair held on the patio on a beautiful spring evening. The presentation was peppered with videos, captivating anecdotes and biographical information about this amazing artist.

It was a beautiful evening and one that was filled with love, laughter and most importantly, family.

Mike and Natalie Pennel

Vitamin Sea

In 2019, while visiting family in Melkbos, Mike and Natalie decided to take a drive to Paternoster, however, they never made it that far. During a breakfast stop in Langebaan and while on the phone with their son in New Zealand, the idea of moving to Langebaan was born.

And then Covid happened. With lockdown and travel restrictions, many people would have put their dream of moving to a different province on hold.

Despite the uncertainty, Mike and Natalie decided to go ahead and put their home in Johannesburg on the market. All viewings were by appointment only, and much sanitising was required after every viewing. Two offers they received fell through, and then finally, third time lucky, they sold their home at the end of June. Leisure travel was still not permitted, but they managed to get a permit as you could travel if you were buying a new home. They flew to Cape Town and spent three days searching for their new home. They knew that if they were going to move to the coast, a non-negotiable had to be a good view. Natalie knew before she had even walked over the threshold that she had found her perfect home.

With the wheels set in motion, the next challenge came when organising movers to transport their worldly possessions plus two dogs and three cars to the Cape. Mike is a firm believer that if something is meant to be, and you plan properly, then you will make it happen. And he was right, even though it was rather an unconventional solution with Mike and Natalie travelling down to the Cape in the moving truck. According to Natalie, it was the longest 48 hours of her life and one she will never forget.

Natalie and Mike have been in their new home for a year now, and they couldn’t be happier. Natalie walks rescue dogs a few times a week and has also joined a group called Lagoon Ladies, who meet once a month to listen to a guest speaker and have a catch-up. Mike loves anything to do with cars and boats, and word quickly spread that there was an expert in town, so he spends much of his day helping locals with advice about their boats. They are both grateful that they weren’t deterred and followed their dream despite the uncertainty of the past year.

Karen Kruger

Finding purpose and choosing happy

After a career spanning 43 years in the hospitality industry, Karen was excitedly preparing to retire in September 2020. Unfortunately, the last six months of her working life were ones she describes as awful, mainly since the hospitality and tourism industry was so severely knocked by
Covid, with events being cancelled and hotels being closed.

Karen had a clear vision as to what her retirement would look like. Having time to do things for herself was important, as was pursuing activities she enjoyed, such as travel. Karen had planned to spend the first six months of retirement giving back through helping a sports organisation with their events, but this fell through as all sporting events were cancelled.

This freed up more time, and she began to reflect deeply on her purpose in life now that she had made the transition into retirement. After much reflection, she decided that her purpose was simply to be happy, and she only pursued activities that helped fulfil her purpose. She never imagined that exercise would become such an integral part of her life, yet now she does aqua therapy and pilates five times a week, both of which have become activities she loves. She also spends time playing online scrabble with friends, learning bridge and socialising with the people she treasures most in her life. While she has some plans for the future, she firmly believes in grabbing every bit of happiness and good that you can each day. Karen describes herself as the happiest pensioner she has ever met—keeping herself busy being happy.

Russell and Audett Dixon-Paver

Let the music play on

Russell and Audett have been in retirement for ten years now, leading full and busy lives pursuing activities they enjoy such as sewing and aviation photography —and more recently, learning to play the ukulele.

Music has always been a part of their lives. As a youngster, Russell played the trumpet and Audett the piano and organ, so it’s no wonder their youngest daughter, Robin, inherited their musical genes. Robin is a music teacher and is passionate about the ukulele. She believes that the ukulele is a wonderful instrument for children to merge the theory with the practical side. She runs the Tiger Valley College Ukulele Society and has entered her group in eisteddfods where they have excelled.

When lockdown happened, all of Robin’s lessons went online. As it is Robin’s dream to teach the ukulele online, she enrolled in an online course. As part of her training, she needs to teach pupils how to play the ukelele, and her pupils came in the form of her parents and sister, Gaelyn. Each week, they spend a few hours learning to play the ukulele, and they are all loving the experience. It’s been a wonderful opportunity to learn a new skill while having fun at the same time. Most importantly, they have found music to be a therapeutic tool in dealing with the stress of the times we find ourselves living in. It has also sparked a new passion for Russell, and he plans to begin building ukuleles in his workshop.

If you’ve experienced a longing for change, you are not alone. It is a natural reaction to the worry, fear and isolation that the Covid pandemic brought into our lives. It’s also normal to have some anxiety around re-entering the world and resuming your pre-pandemic life.

Covid has robbed us of control over our own lives in many ways, and now that we are ready to integrate back into work, friendships and communities, we’re still feeling a little lost and less joyful than we thought. We feel awkward and uncomfortable. And it’s not only about living as we did before, it’s also about the changes in our lives that Covid has been a catalyst for.

When I feel lost or out of control, I try to make sense of my emotions. I came across the term pandemic flux syndrome, which Dr Amy Cuddy and Jill Ellen Riley coined in the Washington Post. The article helped me understand why we’re feeling the way we do and made me feel less alone knowing that others feel exactly the same.

Pandemic flux syndrome refers to the emotional impact the virus has had on us. It explains the continuous cycle of hope and despair through each wave, and living in the face of uncertainty has been incredibly hard. Our bodies were not designed to cope with so much pressure for so long. Very often, when we are confused and anxious, we take control by looking for change.

Covid has channelled a lot of introspection for many people. Being isolated and living in so much chaos has directed our attention inwards, and I have seen many positive changes as a result thereof. The yearning for change does not discriminate. I have seen people in all phases of life wanting change, my daughter Gabi included. We spent many hours introspecting and working through various scenarios when Gabi asked to change schools in Grade 10. Of course, we wanted to be sure that she understood the consequences of her decision and that the change would give her what she was looking for.

Some people have been so overwhelmed that they have not been able to make necessary changes. Instead, the status quo has seemed the safer option
for now. But mostly, the pandemic has pushed us forward to make significant changes that were vital to living our best lives. In this newsletter, you will read some of the beautiful positive changes clients have made during this period.

I have also seen many people implementing small changes for big rewards. I count myself in this category with my running routine. I have shared my running goals with you before, and I still run four times per week – even when I don’t really feel like it on a particular day. Without fail, I feel so much better on the days that I do run.

If you have made changes – big or small – that have left you feeling inspired and grateful, please share it with us. We would love to hear them!

Change is inevitable – that is certain. But if you have decided to put essential change on hold, don’t despair. We are all doing the best we can, and it’s important to be kind to yourself and those around you. Big decisions should also not be taken lightly. It takes a whole lot of introspection and the support of important people in your life. Ask your Retiremeant™️ Specialist to partner with you to guide you through the change and how it affects your Plan. I hope the stories in this newsletter inspire you to weather the storm of change.

Do you believe that intelligence, artistic ability, character and personality are something fixed? Qualities that you’re born with and that you can’t really change? Or do you believe that each of us can fundamentally develop and improve many of our qualities over the course of our life?

In her book, Mindset – How you can Fuel your Potential, Carol Dweck shares her research about what she calls fixed and growth mindsets. She explains the fixed mindset as a belief that your qualities are carved in stone, where the growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.

Dweck believes that although people have vastly different talents, aptitudes, interests and temperaments, everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

Fixed Mindset	Growth Mindset
Afraid of being judged with a tendency to • take feedback as criticism • be sensitive about being wrong or making mistakes • avoid trying new things • give up easily	A desire to learn, which means that you • embrace challenges • keep going when things get difficult • see effort as the path to mastery • take feedback as an opportunity to grow and learn

Which personality mindset do you have?

Look at these statements about personality and character and decide whether you mostly agree or mostly disagree with each one.

1. You are a certain kind of person, and there is not much that can be done to really change that.
2. No matter what kind of person you are, you can always change substantially.
3. You can do things differently, but the important parts of who you are can’t really be changed.
4. You can always change basic things about the kind of person you are.

Questions 1 and 3 are fixed-mindset questions, and questions 2 and 4 reflect the growth mindset.

Which did you agree with more?

Mindsets in Practice

Personal reflection

What mindset do you operate from? How has this impacted what you have achieved in life so far? If you worked on cultivating a growth mindset in all areas of your life, how might things change?

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Can you identify people you know with a fixed mindset? What do they do and say? How has this mindset impacted them?

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Think about a time when you felt incredibly motivated and inspired to work hard and contribute your best… What was it about this environment that motivated you to give your best, to perform at your peak?

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“Becoming is better than being” – Carol Dweck

Source: Claire Holden, Change in Mindset

We have been in a state of flux for almost two years now. Our lives and our circumstances have become fluid and our boundaries flexible. The old rules no longer apply. And just as we think we have a handle on how things are in a new kind of normal, things change again. If you’ve recently tried booking an international flight, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The rules about being on the red, green or orange list and Covid protocols around entries and exits constantly fluctuate. It’s confusing.

I was attending an online workshop when this quote popped onto the screen: “Never allow a good crisis to go to waste. It’s an opportunity to do the things you once thought were impossible.” – Rahm Emanuel, Obama adviser, 2008

The quote inspired me. It also explained why so many of us have undergone such powerful makeovers from the inside out. We’ve made massive mindshifts in many ways. But one, in particular, has stood out for me – the courageous act of letting go.

I started hearing from clients about things they let go of when I wrote the two eBooks and Midlife Money Makeover last year. Some clients got rid of small habits with big rewards, like not buying take-outs, buying fewer coffees on the run and travelling local instead of international. Others have focussed inwards and chucked out thoughts that make them feel ‘less-than’, anger, guilt, the need for approval, and preconceived ideas of how they think their lives should look. I have been most excited seeing how people let go of living in ways that don’t fulfil them and embrace the life they yearn for.

I am intentionally trying to throw out being in a rush. I don’t always get it right and see this journey as work in progress. I have always had an urgency to get things done and would often start thinking of my next project while still busy with a current one. I remember making lists of all the things I have left out of my first book Retiremeant – get more meaning from your money, and the next book was already taking shape in my head shortly after it was published. My mindshift is to focus more on the present. To savour special moments and make them last. With my latest book, Midlife Money Makeover, I am going to try my best to spend the next few years exploring what value people have found in the book and consciously enjoy the process.

I have been a maximiser my entire life. I move fast and get things done quickly. Now, I savour special slow-down moments and have brought a PJ-stay-at-home day into my weekly mix. So many of our clients have shifted from a fixed to an open mindset since the start of Covid. We are trying new things, being a little more daring, embracing challenges and living life more fully. Having an open mindset has made all these positive changes possible.

We recently explored this concept at Chartered through our work with empowerment coach and director of Change in Mindset, Claire Holden. She guided us through an exercise on understanding mindsets and how to shift from a fixed to open one. I have included her exercise in this newsletter for you. If you are feeling fearful in the face of so much change, give it a go. The overall message is that mindsets can be changed!

Wishing you the courage to live more fully.