We are living in uncertain times. Both globally and locally, our political and financial landscapes are shifting, leaving many people anxious about the returns on their investments. This type of anxiety can affect our emotions. And, making decisions based on how we feel is never a good recipe for financial planning, long term.

In the face of fear, many people are tempted to convert their investments into cash. But once you do that, how do you know when to re-enter the market? What if you shouldn’t have got out of it in the first place? A move like that brings a whole set of new questions, making us even more anxious than we were before.

So it is that we find ourselves fuelled by fear and living our worst – instead of our best – lives.

Something that can put our thinking back on track here is an illustration by Carl Richards, who produces a weekly sketch for the New York Times. It consists of two overlapping circles. The first circle represents things that matter, the second, things you can control. His advice is simple: the only place to focus your energy is where the circles intersect. In other words, what is it that matters to you that you also have control over? Carl’s view is that uncertainty equals reality. And he’s right. Unpredictability is the new norm. So, the best thing we can do is make peace with the inevitable risk of being alive.

In essence, we just cannot control everything. Something as simple as the Serenity Prayer can be your mental calm in a storm. Your soul is searching for the serenity to accept the things you just cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to be able to tell those things apart (my article on the Serenity Prayer can be found here:

Insights from the Serenity Prayer

When life seems to be getting too much and I am not sure which way to turn, I have come to find peace in saying the serenity prayer.

Here are some Top Tips for Uncertain Times:

1. Don’t fight the fact that we live in an uncertain world. It’s a reality that we all need to accept.
2. When you feel overwhelmed, try to cut out some of the negative noise. Choose carefully what news you follow and every now and then, take a break from it altogether.
3. If your stress levels are affecting your health, get help. Stress is dangerous and too much of it compromises your body.
4. Take some time out to reflect. Could your panic be a trigger from the past? A childhood memory sitting beneath the surface of your stress? Dig deeper into the belief you’re holding. Is it true? And is it serving you?
5. Make a list of what matters to you that you can control. Keep your mental attention there.
6. Your financial plan was designed for the long-term. Have a long-term approach to it and stick to your plan.
7. Spend within the plan you’ve agreed on with your planner to make sure your money lasts.
8. Make daily decisions to make sure you are living a meaningful life.

It’s not just our financial plans that are long-term commitments. Life is a long-term business too. So, take the time you need for developing the mental fortitude to outfox your financial fears.

The Courageous Currency series of conversations with Kim Potgieter and Classic FM’s Michael Avery is worth a listen. Take a journey to understand where money stories come from and how they affect our decisions and behaviour around money, and learn how to approach these challenging conversations.

Why Courageous Currency Conversations?

Money is such a taboo topic. Many people consider it rude and inappropriate to chat about it at social gatherings, never mind in relationships! We may feel uncomfortable, as the topic can dredge up feelings of dread, inadequacy and failure. People who talk about successful money transactions are often believed to be arrogant and egotistical.

So, we don’t often talk about money. This certainly does not mean that we are not worrying or thinking about it, or even just wanting to share some ideas or get advice. It is just a difficult subject to approach. And it takes a whole load of courage to start these important conversations.

Here is a snapshot of what each of the podcasts is about – choose the one that appeals to you … or listen to all at: www.kimpotgieter.co.za/kim-media

How money memories can influence your money story

What is a personal money story? What is the value we assign to it: power, security, happiness or even fear? It is empowering to become aware of your money story, the factors contributing to your relationship with money and how you can consciously create the life you really want.

Understanding your relationships with money

It takes hard work to unpack our thinking patterns and preconceptions about money, especially since we use it to measure our self-worth. As soon as we realise that our money story can translate into a better one, we are free to compose a new script for a happy and fulfilling life.

Can Money buy Happiness?

Money plays an important role in our lives and can certainly buy us things that we want … a step closer to happiness. But, we often put our “happiness” on hold until we have enough money. Separate money from happiness, define each term separately and consider what a truly happy life would look like.

Crucial money conversations in families

It is so important to have these difficult conversations with your partner and children. How do you broach money conversations in a family, and make it a non-judgmental process that allows each family member to voice their views, concerns and dreams?

Midlife crisis and money issues

A midlife crisis can unleash feelings of being out of control, confused and conflicted; you are living a life very different from the one you dreamed of. People deal with this inner conflict in different ways, often destructive to their personal finances. View your mid-life crisis through the eyes of personal truth and internal needs, not only in terms of finances.

Protecting our families and assets upon death

Wills and Trusts help protect our families and assets on death. Discussing these documents with your partner or children is sensitive and difficult, but once concluded and the document is safely locked away, you have the peace of mind that your children, money, property and assets will be looked after according to your instructions.

How to get tough on family who bleed you dry

There is a growing trend of parents who support their adult children financially. How do you open money conversations with children? How do you teach important money lessons children from a young age? “Tough love’ is at times the best choice and more beneficial for the health, happiness and love of both parents and their children.

We learn through stories – it’s how we understand and remember. We tell stories every day – to make sense of something, to remind us, to imagine a possible outcome. A story depicts a journey and is held together by an account of memories, whether real, remembered or fabricated.

Sometimes, in stories, the line between fact and fiction becomes blurred.  How we remember things may not be an actual account of what really happened, but how we perceive it having happened.

This is because a lot of our behaviour patterns and belief systems downloaded in the first years of life become automatic.  We behave in a certain way, or think about things almost intuitively – an automated, ingrained response.

I consider my own money journey.  My parents had a very dysfunctional relationship with money, and I realise how it has shaped my own attitude towards money.

In our house, my father was in charge of all the money and gave my mom a housekeeping allowance. Watching television during the day was forbidden (a waste of electricity), the tumble drier was locked in the garage (too expensive to run) and the telephone was always locked. I remember the anxiety as my mom pleaded with my father to give her extra money to buy Christmas presents.

Don’t misunderstand me: we had money – more than enough of it. It’s just that my dad bullied my mother by restricting the amount of money she could access.

I have always resolved to have my own financial independence. So that I cannot be controlled by someone else. I often need to remind myself that my past is not my present.

Neuroscientists estimate that 95% of our behaviours and beliefs are pre-programmed in the subconscious mind, operating on autopilot.  We rarely ever observe these behaviour patterns and beliefs because they are subconscious.

We don’t see things as they are – we see things as we are. (Talmudic tradition)

Your story about money relates directly to who you are – it’s the subconscious tale about how you perceive yourself.  And this story is mirrored by what money means to you and the decisions you take around it.

Let’s look at an example: a common money journey is the fear of poverty.  You don’t actually have to be poor for poverty to be your story. Stories have to do with your perception of reality and not necessarily reality itself. When the fear of poverty looms in your mind, be very careful. This story can be a destructive and debilitating one to live out. This story is often a story about self-worth, or more accurately, the lack of it.

The truth is that stories are powerful; if we believe our own stories, they will come true. If you keep telling yourself that “you’re just managing to get by” or that you “will never be debt-free” – whether you do so consciously or not – then that is how the story of your life will go.  How you choose to think or feel about money will influence your money journey.

A clear understanding of your money journey can start a whole new chapter where you are able to change that story, rewrite that chapter and start making money serve you – instead of the other way around.

A good question to ask yourself “ How much of my money memory is reality and how much is based on a belief I hold onto?”